Chapter 22

I was nervous. Literally, my hands were sweating badly. Today I was going to tell Maddie's parents and mine about Maddie and me. I was pacing back and forth when Hope intercepted me.

"Just breathe, okay? I'm right here with you." I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. The doorbell went off, and I went spiraling back into my anxiety with it. Hope looked at me and mouthed breath as she was walking back towards the door.

"Hi, who are you?" I could already tell Hope was smiling.

"Hi, my name is Hope. I'm a friend; come on in." They walked in and immediately made eye contact with me. Looking into the older woman's eyes, I saw Maddie for a brief second. This wasn't a good idea.

"John, Kathy. It's so good to see you." My mom said as she was descending the stairs. My father followed close behind with a smile on his face. My mom and dad greeted Maddie's parents; then, we made our way to the living room to talk.

"Alright, kiddo. What did you need to tell us?" How does one speak again? I couldn't form words, and it felt like my throat was closing. I soon felt a hand on mine that gently squeezed. I looked up to Hope and felt a little relief.

"Well, I need to tell you all something. It was something Maddie and I were supposed to tell you together, but…" I trailed off and looked away from them. I could feel the tension in the room rise. I looked back over and could see Maddie's mom's eyes already becoming glassy. Fuck.

"What is it, sweetie?" My mom spoke up and gave me a reassuring look to continue.

"We were supposed to tell you at our graduation party. We had it all planned out." I lightly chuckle, thinking back to all of Maddie's wild ideas of how we were going to break the news. I shook my head as a frown formed once again.

"We were going to tell you that we had been more than best friends since we were thirteen. I had dated for five years in secrecy from you guys, afraid of your reaction. We actually already got an apartment near our college and put down the first month's rent, just in case you all kicked us out. I'm telling you all this now because I feel like it needs to be shared. I feel like it may give me a little bit of peace and closure." I kept my eyes on the floor the whole time, not wanting to see their reactions. Soon I heard footsteps and felt arms wrap around me, hearing sniffling.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry." I heard my mom's voice fill my ears. I soon felt other hands on my shoulders, and I just broke down.

"We would have always accepted you two. Thank you for telling us." I heard Maddie's mom say with a shaky voice. I looked up at all of them, every last person with tears in their eyes, and none with a disgusted look on their face.

"You all really would have accepted us?" I felt my dad squeeze my shoulder.

"Of course. We honestly should have known. I'm glad you told us now. We didn't realize that this affected you in a whole different way." I saw Maddie's dad nod in agreement.

"You are like a second daughter to us. You both ending up together would have been amazing." I broke down more.

"I'm so sorry." I put my head in my hands. I sensed a person bend down in front of me.

"Don't ever apologize for being alive. Don't apologize for surviving. She lives through you. Every time we see you, we see her. We see her smile; we see her laugh, we see both of you goofing around, we see her happy." This made more tears fall down my face and to the floor.

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Maddie's parents stayed for a little longer, catching up with my parents before leaving. Maddie's mom's words resonated with me. I was the only living thing that reminds them of her. I never knew that. I didn't know that when they saw me, they saw all the good memories of Maddie. Every time I look at the pictures of Maddie and me, every time I look at myself in the mirror, I'm reminded of that night. I've let it cloud all the good memories; I've let all the bad consume me.

"Hey, let's go get some fresh air." Hope tugged lightly on my hand. I looked up and smiled at her. I could definitely use some fresh air.

"We are going to take a walk along the beach; get some fresh air." My parents wished us a fun time and to keep them in the loop if any plans change.

Walking along the beach was exactly what I needed. The cooling sand between making their way in between my bare toes, the light cool breeze, and the sun setting was perfect. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even know I was carrying after telling Maddie's parents everything.

"So, How do you feel?" Hope does a nervous skip sideways to where she can see me. I just smiled at her.

"I'm glad I did it. I feel lighter." She smiled back at me and pulled me into a hug.

"That's amazing. I'm so glad." I pulled back, and when I did, the sunset outlined her perfectly at that moment. She looked like an angel. My angel. I pulled her into a kiss. Her lips were soft and inviting. I could feel so many emotions while kissing her; kissing her felt right; it felt like piece by piece, I was being revived. We pulled apart and smiled at one another.

"Wow." I chuckled, and she laughed along with me.

"Wow is right," I said as I grabbed Hope's hand. We continued to walk down the beach in mostly silence.

"Well, I pretty much checked everything off of my list." I stopped and looked at her.

"Yeah? What's left?" I said with an amused smile. I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, and she had a slight blush adorn her face.

"To tell…" Out of nowhere, Hope just dropped to the sand, and her body started to shake.

"Fuck. Hope! Hope!" I hurriedly took out my phone and called 9-1-1.

"She just randomly fainted and started convulsing. Hurry, please!" I shouted into the phone, my senses on hyperdrive. I felt my mouth move to tell them where we were, but I could barely hear any word come out of my mouth.