Many things have been going through my mind this past week. I'm pretty nervous to introduce Chris to mom and Cass, it's really scary.
I'm honestly not ready but who am I kidding, it's the least I can do actually.
I got off work earlier today so I decided to start with the Christmas shopping before they'd make it here. I know it will be very difficult to buy anything from the malls and even most stores from next week mainly because it's serious rush hour over here at that time.
I strode into the busy and noisy mall having eye for only what I came to buy.
My eyes instantly went to an ornament shop. I've always loved the Christmas tree back at home with a lot of ornaments and I couldn't help but get 3 bags of it.
Christmas was always cheerful and full of love starting from the songs, to the yummy cookies, the wonderful presents and amazing family reunions before dad passed away.
I can still remember every single detail of my last Christmas with him like it was yesterday.
He came home late on Christmas eve and met mom and I making cookies in the kitchen with flour all over your faces. I was just 12 then and mom recently started allowing me in the kitchen to help out, according to her I was growing already and I deserved to learn.
I rememeber dad walking into the kitchen and I immediately ran to him. He gave me a hug and kissed my cheeks before heading to mom and giving her a loving kiss.
I always admired the connection between mom and dad. They we're so in love, the way they look at each other with so much love. I always wanted that. Always wanted someone to look at me like his whole life depended on it, like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. I wanted that. I still want that. I always wanted the love they had, it was ever growing and romantic.
We had this Christmas tradition that we stay up doing countdown to Christmas day itself as we watched Christmas movies together and we also read all the blessings and wishes. Dad always cracks funny and interesting jokes to lighten the mood. He was all smiles and an encouraging person. Traditionally, your Christmas would end with the exchange of gifts but that particular year, he handed my gift earlier pointing out that new changes should be made now and then. I had no idea what it meant but as a child, my concern was definitely on whats all wrapped up. My eyes twinkled at the beautiful necklace seated comfortably in it's case looking all fancy and glamorous.
My fingers lingered on my dad's favourite ornament before deciding to add him also in this Christmas. It's not actually been all smiles since he left, our Christmas traditions just paused and definitely no family reunions any longer, it was just mom and I trying to pick our broken selves up again and move on with life as dad would want.
The first year of his loss was hard, I could tell mom was dying from the inside, her soulmate was gone, the fucking love of her life was gone forever. I watched her fight against depression so she'd be strong enough to take care of me.
Christmas always reminded me of him because that was his favourite time of the year.
My thoughts we're interrupted by a lady waving her hands in my face. I looked at her confused, wondering what she wanted from me.
"Uh..I'm sorry but you've been standing here for an awfully long period of time with this ornament in your hand and also very much deep in thougts, I just wanted to check if you were alright." she said in a concerned tone while trying to balance her bags in both hands.
"I'm good, thank you very much. Christmas brings alot of memories that's all." she nooded and smiled.
"I understand, I'm Lily by the way short for Eileen" she extended her hand for a handshake with a smile.
She was a really beautiful lady, tall, beautiful brown eyes and a nice figure. I could guess she was coming from work or something formal because of her well fitted office trouser and shiffon wrap top.
"I'm Tina, it's really nice to meet you Lily" I shook her with a smile identical to hers.
"Like wise. Uh..I'm sorry to bother you, this might seem too forward but, my fiance and I just moved here and this is my first Christmas with him, I honestly want to impress him but I have no idea of what to get and I seem to not know anywhere around so can I maybe tag along if that's fine with you?" she finished with eyes wide open in expectation, I giggled a little.
" of course i'd love to, I actually need the company. Welcome"
The rest of the day involved Lily and I just catching up and doing some intense Christmas shopping. That girl talks a lot but I didn't mind, I actually liked that about her. It made me instantly feel comfortable with her. She was such a carefree person with an amazing personality.
We left the mall a few minutes to 7pm because Lily, just like Cass is very picky. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to catch up one of these days. I loaded my bags at the back of my car and headed home.
I got into my apartment and switched the lights on. I immediately jumped in fear and surprise, mostly fear at seeing the person sitting on my couch lost in thoughts.
"Jesus Christ the fuck are you doing here Chris? You scared the shit out of me" he immediately stood up and walked up to me.
"Where the hell have you been all this time Tina? I've called several times but you didn't pick" he said looking frustrated and angry.
"Geez calm down, I just went to the mall to get a few things and my phone was silent in my purse" I walked casually past him and into the kitchen.
"I've been worried sick. I called and called but you didn't pick up, I thought something happened" he said with concern in his voice. I started having that butterfly thingy in my belly again. I turned and walked towards him. I hugged him tight and cupped his face in my hands.
"I'm so sorry Chris, I should have let you know where I was going. I'm fine but I'm better now" I said biting my lips.
"How...did you get in here anyway?" he just smiled.
"I have my ways" he winked.
"Should I be scared?" he started to laugh.
"No"