Chapter 10: DINNER AND DALIANCES

Lennon let the caterers up to the house and they dropped off two huge silver colored insulated food carriers. The aroma of fresh garlic and basil permeated through the room.

Dinner was Italian and incredibly tasty and as always when a bunch of rock stars got together the alcohol flowed. After a couple of hours, we were all pretty drunk and once Lily said she was tired and sloped off to bed, Shawn and Digs went home. Lennon offered me a bed for the night and being mellow I accepted.

Jed insisted on staying with me and ended up sleeping in the pool house and by 3:35 a.m., only Lennie and I were left talking. We were both as drunk as skunks, lying on his couches in the sitting room and suddenly it had felt like old times. A late night between us that had helped recapture some of the close feelings I'd had from our time on tour together.

After Jed went to bed Len picked up from where we'd left off on a previous discussion we'd had months before. Our relationship was like that; we had so much to say to one another that we never quite managed to exhaust a subject we'd been discussing before we bounced onto another topic.

I knew a friend like Lennon was rare because there weren't many men I gelled with in the way I had with him. His quiet temperament calmed me. He was funny as fuck when he let himself go, and I'd never had to try to be anything but myself with him.

I'd go as far as to say conversation came too easy to us because it was almost 6:00 a.m. when we called it a night. Both of us slurred our words from the amount of alcohol we'd consumed, and I could hardly see straight. As if Lennon knew what I needed he suggested we hit the hay.

Climbing the stairs behind him put me in a weird place, and maybe it was all the alcohol I had consumed but I felt unhappy we were going to bed. I wanted more of his time. I wished for a moment he was in my band because my relationships with my bandmates were nothing like it was with him.

Then I supposed I was very drunk and figured if we'd worked together every day we wouldn't have the time or make the effort to get into deep discussions like we'd just had.

Lennon stepped out the way at the top of the stairs and let me go first on the landing. He walked after me to the end of the hall, brushed past me to open the bedroom door and his face was so damned close to mine I could smell the subtle hint of his cologne under the newly grown stubble on his chin. My eyes dropped to his jawline and his five o'clock shadow made him look even sexier than usual.

Whether it was the drink or the fact I'd missed the masculine feel of firm hands on me I'm not sure, but I leaned across and planted a kiss on his cheek. My heart sped excitedly when my lips touched his skin and when Lennie turned his head to look at me his studious eyes held mine. For a few seconds it felt as if time stood still. My pounding heartbeat raced, hammering wildly in my chest with anticipation of I knew not what, because instead of freaking out at what I'd done, Lennie remained stayed where he was and daring me on.

Warm labored breaths ghosted over my face as he continued to stand close. The warmth from his body so near radiated toward mine and it made my cock stir. I swayed a little and almost lost my balance. I reached out to stabilize myself and my hand landed on his warm, hard chest. For a second I'd thought Len had been contemplating kissing me back, then figured my fantasy must have been playing tricks on me because suddenly dropped his gaze, took a step back and cleared his throat with an awkward furtive glance.

"All right, you've been here before. This is the same room as last time. Get your head down. I hope it's comfortable for you. You'll find towels and shit in the bathroom if you need them," he said as his voice tried to remain impassive to what had passed between us.

I really didn't want him to walk away and have it end like that, so I reached out and pulled him into a hug. This time my erect cock tightened my pants, and I was surprised when his semi-erect dick tilted firmer towards mine and he wrapped his arms around me in return. Then we both just stood there - hugging.

Normally, when a guy hugged me it entailed a quick one-sided embrace kind of greeting but Lennon's hugs had never been like that at all. I felt myself sag against him, our bodies getting closer, depending on each other to remain upright. Only one person other than Lennon had ever hugged me the way he did, and I'd never been allowed to talk about that.

"I fucking love you, dude," I slurred as I slapped his back then pulled my head, cradled his in my hands and looked at his face at his face. I fought the urge to kiss him again when I saw how dark and wide his pupils had gone. My vision was blurry, but I had felt as if something had passed between us, then I wondered if I'd overstepped our friendship and he was being polite.

Lennon's expression looked intense, "Yeah, you're not so bad yourself," he answered in return. His tone was flat, and I couldn't read much into it. The urge to kiss him grew stronger and then I wondered if Len was only letting me hold him that way because of who I was. Had I taken advantage of the position I held with him since it had been my band who had given XrAid their early exposure?

With that thought in mind, I quickly took charge of myself and stepped away, walking into the room. I felt awkward. Clearing my throat, I snickered and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Alright, guess I better go take this bed by myself."

"That'll be a novelty for you, Rick."

"Indeed, makes a change from how I woke up this morning... or yesterday morning," I replied glancing bleary eyed at my wristwatch again.

"Well... I'll leave you to it," Lennon said hesitantly as he turned and walked slowly down the hall. I stood watching him run his hand through his hair and waited as he stopped at the third door on the right.

Without looking back, he pushed open his door, stepped inside then closed it behind him. I stood there for a full minute after he'd gone from sight before I closed my own door and leaned heavily against it. "Fuck," I muttered because I wondered if Len thought I'd taken a liberty and crossed a line.

For a second I stared at the bed, my mind blank of all thought then I reached for my buckle and slid out of my jeans. Once naked I crawled onto the bed and lay starfish-like under the cool sheets soothing my aching, tired body.

When I thought about what had happened with Lennon, a dull ache formed in my stomach like the kind one has after a great holiday ends, and my mood sank. My cock was still hard despite the alcohol and I figured it was only because I was drunk and horny. Luckily, I'd had so much alcohol I didn't dwell on my thoughts for long before I passed out.