Chapter 2 - Blazing Heart

[Sky Dash(Active): Grants +30% Agility for 10 seconds while above ground. Cost(30MP) 1/5]

[Wind Blade(Active): Creates a magical wind blade that has a range of 50 meters, Deals Intelligence(x2) in damage. Cost(20MP) 1/5]

[Umbra Hand(Active): Generates a hand from the shadows that can be controlled by the user range 100 meters. Cost(4MP/Second) 1/5]

[Bird of Darkness(Passive): Soundless Flight and grants +30% Agility in the dark. 1/5]

[Mask Presence(Passive): Masks the presence of the user to a certain extent in the dark. 1/5]

[Zephyr Child(Passive): Grants +50% Agility if there are any enemies within a 100 meters radius. 1/5]

[The Stranger(Passive): +25% to all Stats. 1/5]

When I saw the skills I was shocked, this was too overpowered. I could barely contain myself... Ok, breathe I shouldn't get carried away.

Of course, this was only overpowered by the current me, who was mentally powerless and had no experience with magic so everything was mind-blowing.

I had very low physical resistance, so I'd imagine if I just bumped into a stronger monster I'd crumble away, I need to be smart here. Another thing is, that I had no idea how I was compared to other monsters, but one thing is for sure, I was at the bottom of the food chain.

'System do these eagle chicks have the same skills as I do?'

[You can see for yourself, look at them and think to appraise and you'll see some of their information]

Another piece of great news, if I could see the information about other monsters it'd make it easier for me to target only the ones I'm confident in dealing with.

I turned around and looked at the chicks who were playing, well playing is a strong word. It was more like the female chick following and pestering the other chick.

'Appraise'

[Target: Umbra Storm Eagle(Hatchling)

Cultivation Realm: Body Refinement(Low)

Health Points(HP): 61/61

Magic Power(MP/Mana): 80/80

Spiritual Power(SP): 21/21

Magical Resistance: 11

Physical Resistance: 4

Spiritual Resistance: 2

Vitality: 10

Strength: 11

Stamina: 6

Intelligence: 19

Agility: 15

Spirit: 5

[Skills: [Wind Blade(Active)], [Bird of Darkness(Passive)]]

Description: The hatchling of the Umbra Storm Eagle, is a very terrifying and dangerous monster for those below The Foundation Establishment realm due to its high speed and stealth. They usually hunt at night; they're proficient in Darkness and Wind magic which makes them a force to be reckoned with. It is advised to avoid this monster in the dark. This harmless little chick can kill anyone below the Body Refinement stage. They usually inhabit The Cursed Shadowed Forest.

Weakness: It doesn't have any notable weakness other than being weaker in the light and having low physical resistance.]

They were a bit weaker than I was, especially regarding their Spiritual attributes. However, what got my attention was the skills. They only had two: one active and one passive.

'Why do I have several more skills than them?'

[You're a special case, the difference is that you've already absorbed more of your bloodline, so you've acquired more skills than these hatchlings. As they start to grow, cultivate and eat other monsters, they will eventually inherit all of the skills except The Stranger. I think you can guess why from the name.]

I see though I did not know why I was able to absorb more of my bloodline this early compared to them. If I had to guess, it'd be due to having a stronger soul and my awakening before I hatched.

The Stranger's passive must be another perk for being from another world.

I still had one more big question, so far I'd understood everything except...

'System, when you say absorb mana to refine their bodies to grow stronger, it makes sense of course but how does leveling up play a role in my cultivation? I don't understand'.

[It's like this, you can cultivate just like every other creature on this planet. The only difference is that you have another option to get stronger. When you level up, the system gives you power through stats, this power further strengthens your body.]

Fuck, this is too good!

It meant that it was possible to grow stronger without ever sitting down and absorbing mana to strengthen my body. Just completing quests and gaining EXP would do it. I would still cultivate of course I'm no idiot, I couldn't be always doing quests and killing monsters so it was good to have another option. Just to be safe I asked again...

'How do I gain EXP?'

[Killing your opponents, Quests, Magical Cores and Cultivation Pills are the options, for now.]

Just as I had guessed, though I didn't anticipate pills, they must be like potions, elixirs, or something.

I like that, especially 'for now', it implied that the system was still evolving.

Speaking of evolution and the concept of gradual progress, I remembered the other icons that I couldn't access earlier. I should find out how to unlock them.

'Quests, Map, Shop... Why are these options locked?'

[Certain special conditions must be met for them to be unlocked.]

'Which are?'

[Figure it out.]

That was the first time it did not answer a question I asked, must be due to the 'special' conditions.

When I thought of how helpful the system was, I was struck by a brilliant idea.

'What is the best way to make use of the system?'

[I won't be helping the host in any of his outward problems, maybe sometimes give another perspective but that's it. My role is solely to explain the system's functions and help operate them.]

Damn, how cool it'd be to be able to get this intelligent, mysterious, and ancient being as an advisor. Our minds are very prone to error, and in this world error meant death.

The moment I thought of death and how defenseless I was, the imaginary hairs on my neck stood up. Looking around all I could see was darkness and it was so quiet, even the chick siblings were sleeping.

I started shaking like a leaf because all of this was too scary and my mind ran wild imagining all kinds of horrible scenarios.

In the beginning, I was distracted by everything the Mama bird and especially the system, but all I can feel now was dread.

I moved closer to the siblings to get some semblance of security, this day was just too much. I had never been more excited and scared in my life, I tried to sleep but I couldn't. My body was tired yet my mind was running one hundred miles an hour.

I started sobbing quietly, and I was reminded of my previous life. I was a complete failure. Can I do this?

I got carried away by the imaginary things I could potentially do with the system, but I had not taken myself and how I was into consideration.

I couldn't even form a genuine relationship nor do the things I wanted, I just hated myself and wallowed in that state of self-loathing while distracting myself with drugs, movies, games, porn... Now, I'm supposed to help people, when I couldn't even help myself? What a joke. I'd probably be dead in two days...

Why did I have to come to this fucking world or whatever... As I was hating myself like I always do, I remembered something that I had not paid much attention to earlier.

'What did you mean by not helping the host in any of his outward problems?'

[What to do next, and how to survive are outward problems in a sense. Inward problems are more psychological.]

'Stuff like confidence, love, greed, etc??'

[Yes.]

'Great, can you give me the confidence to be able to survive in this world?'

[Yeaah... Not really. I don't have the power to do that, even the creator of this system isn't capable of such a feat.]

'What? Do I suck that much?'

[Psychological problems are closely related to our existence and self-awareness, the difference between a mindless beast and an intelligent self-aware creature is exactly that, there is that element of mystery and magic there. It's like the difference between a dead programmed machine that just follows the same program it was ordered to do and a being who has a sense of self capable of love, hate, greed, and friendship. Suicide is an excellent example, monsters below a certain level of intelligence would never do something like that because they have no sense of self, no inner monologue that would drive them to such an extent, they just follow their biological instincts and look for food, shelter, and reproduce. That's why creatures with intelligence are the most ignorant ironically, me included.]

I think I understood a bit what it was trying to say, even in my old world consciousness was always the hard problem of science, What was it? Where does it come from? Where does it go?

'Even the creator of this system can't, seems unreasonable why?'

[You said to solve, that's a very hard question that nobody in the world can give you the answer to, I can assure you of that. Sure, there are spells and other magical skills, abilities, and techniques to alter one's mind but it only changes them to something else negative it can never erase them. Never. You can make someone change his hate maybe from themselves to other people or vice versa, but completely removing that hate once and for all is another thing.]

I kinda got what it was trying to say.

I didn't feel like thinking about it. In fact, I couldn't this forest was too scary...

'Alright, thanks for the help.'

[...]

I was too tired yet I could not sleep.

After a while, I closed my eyes and just started breathing slowly to take my mind off things.

The moment I started dozing off, I heard rustling sounds very close to me!

My blood ran cold, and I froze. I couldn't even think, If I was human I was 100% sure I'd be shitting in my pants right about now, no doubt about it.

*Swish*

I saw the shadow of a figure from the tiny spaces between the leaves coming from the northeast, I looked at the siblings and they were asleep. What should I do? What do I do???

What was even worse was that it was not the shadow of the Mama bird, but one of a bigger bird and looked strange. My heart started beating wildly in my chest, tears started coming down my face I didn't even know I could cry in this body.

This is one big cruel joke.

What am I even getting depressed about I already knew it was just a matter of time before I died, I just thought it'd be due to my incompetence, not some predatory bird.

Even though the nest was pretty well hidden, the shadowy figure was coming directly in this direction. There was only a small opening covered by leaves, but soon it made its way into the nest.

The moment I saw the body of the shadowy figure, my knees gave out and I dropped to the ground. My eagle-hatchling baby face was covered in snot and tears and I started crying wildly.

It was the Mama bird!

I couldn't recognize its shadow because it was carrying the body of what seemed like a black deer spotted with red spots like a cheetah.

I had never felt so close to death in my whole life, even though I died before I wasn't completely sure I'd die. It was only a possibility and I was too high and depressed to even process it normally.

Was this how my life's gonna be from now on? Just constant dread and fear about dying at every step. I couldn't take it...

I felt something inside of me break, life was painful.

At this dark moment, I wished I had someone who could help me because I clearly could not help myself.

My parents were too strict when I was alive, they had so many expectations of what I should do and how I should live my life. I had never felt any warmth from them, none. Just constant expectations and being berated for not meeting them.

I was reminded of what the system said 'to lessen the suffering of the world'. The world was filled with people just like me who were going through different kinds of problems. Maybe they were also wishing for the same thing as me right now.

Someone who could shoulder a few of their burdens, someone who could hold them and let them cry and vent all of their fears and frustrations, someone to tell them that they were enough and that they deserve to be loved and are allowed to fail, and live...

If I was given this opportunity, it'd be unfair to me and to everyone to let it go to waste.

But, can I do it? I'm a coward and I don't know how to fight.

Fuck it!

I was already suicidal as it is, what's the worst that could happen... death? I don't care for death anymore. I will do my best, live on and be a pillar to other people, the pillar that I never found.

I stood up, tears welling up in my eyes. Not because of fear, no. Because I've felt something I haven't felt in a very long while, passion.

A passion to live, and grow strong but most importantly a passion to see what I was capable of.

Frankly, I had never given myself a chance to try anything, I was too caught up in a vicious cycle of worthlessness since my childhood.

Now that my mind was a bit clearer and I was not too depressed as I was before, I could see it clearly.

I had zero interest in school, it was too boring, too impractical, and too soul-crushing for a young kid who was full of wonder and wanted to enjoy life.

Everyone in my family was hard working and was always the first in their respective classes. Cousins, siblings, friends, neighbors, and teachers. I was constantly being compared to everyone just because I had zero interest in school, I was deemed a failure.

They were all saying the same thing over and over. You are not enough. You are incompetent. You are worthless. You don't deserve to live...

Slowly through constant repetition, those ideas started to take root in my mind. The kid who was always energetic and cheerful started to die, I isolated myself from everyone only keeping relationships superficial. I had built strong walls around myself to keep myself from getting bullied.

Yet, the biggest bully remained Me.

Thus, even though I didn't care much for people's opinions about me at that point, I became the biggest tormentor to myself.

I was caught in a vicious cycle of self-loathing which in turn made me feel worthless so I could never try anything, I had never tried anything because I had no confidence in doing anything nor was there any drive or desire to do so.

My only concern every day was to distract myself from how fucked up and broken I was.

Movies, games, anime, and porn then started doing drugs. Life was getting bleaker by the day, I could feel myself getting slowly suffocated.

Now, things have changed. I had a system that would help me and I no longer had a big bully, I needed to forgive myself for not living up to that sick society's standards and for not trying.

Now, I want to live and I want to try.

The flames within my heart started burning wildly!

The dark clouds over my mind started to dissipate and my face couldn't help but form a smile.

-Ding!

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[Title Unlocked: {Blazing Heart}]