11 - Half-Empty

Regret and Victory

He really does look like a country kid when he's gaping at everything like that. Should she tell him?

Though… He looks genuinely curious about Regret and Victory, and the holograms moving around are catchy.

Would it be mean to call him out on it?

Fuck, his smile; How is she supposed to stay mad when he smiles at her like that?!

'Raised levels of anxiety detected. Suggestions: A cup of water, a restroom brea-'

'Shut up!'

Uren's smile vanishes, and Sara realizes there is a significant chance he heard the message she intended for her fucked up AI.

'I'm sorry,' Uren sends before she can explain (not that she would've), his expression now serious as he stares at her with honeyed puppy eyes. 'I didn't know they'd react like that. Really.'

Links aren't supposed to stay open like this. Traditionally, it's considered something incredibly intimate, only slightly less intimate than sharing something other than your thoughts through the connection (which would be equivalent to having sex), like sleeping next to each other or brushing your teeth together… Or for the rare occasion where a date opportunity with the hottest prince she has ever met presents itself.

Except it's not a fucking date.

She might have forgotten to explain that part. And now it'd be even worse to end the connection mid-date.

Except it's not a fucking date.

And yeah, she might've forgotten to explain that part too. Which means Uren probably thinks it is a date. In fact, Sara is very sure he was about to steal her first kiss a couple of minutes ago.

And that she'd have let him.

It. Is. Not. A. Date.

Right. Keep telling yourself that girl. It'll make it come true, for sure for sure.

How did she put herself in this situation again?

"Sara?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You're staring... Like, a lot. Is everything all right?"

Uren smiles as he speaks, though it's clear her prolonged silence made him uncomfortable. Does he think she's still mad at him because of the hug?

"S-sorry. I didn't mean to stare."

Sara forces her gaze to roam the place, purposefully ignoring her shaking voice and heated cheeks. After the fiasco earlier, her hands haven't really stopped quivering, and even sitting near the end of the café as they are, she still feels as though everybody is looking at her.

'Hey, it's okay if you want to leave. I know what happened made you uncomfortable. You don't have to force yourself because of me.'

"Good night, sir. Hello, Sara. May I hear your orders?"

Sara looks up at the sound of a slightly mechanical voice, finding the hologram of a fairy as it stares at their table with a professional smile and the imitation of a notation book ready in her small hands.

Kimmy. Of course. How could she forget about Kimmy? And for the millionth time, where does her voice come from, anyway?

"Is that… Kimmy?"

"Yep. The one and only."

"This place is awesome."

Sara laughs, surprising herself as she meets Uren's smiling, worried gaze, and finds most of her accumulated tension melting like ice under the sun.

It should be a crime to be this cute as a guy.

'I'm fine. C'mon, give me some credit, I'm the one who dragged you here. By the way, you got something against fries?'

'No? What sort of monster would have a thing against fries?!'

"Hi, Kimmy. Same as always, for two. On me."

"Understood. Estimated arrival time: eight minutes and twenty-seven seconds."

Sara rolls her eyes as she watches the AI pretending to fly toward the table next to theirs.

"Cute, isn't she?"

"You're treating me?"

Sara turns back to Uren and smiles at him smugly. 'I bet you've never had a girl treat you before.'

He laughs. 'I can't say I have, no.'

'Well, tonight, I'm richer than you, Mr. Prince.'

'Yeah? How come?'

'In here, they let you pay in Glory once a month. It's the whole point of the place.'

Uren's eyes widen. "Wait, no shit, really?"

Satisfied by his reaction, Sara nods. "No shit."

"How do they even…"

"Make any profits? I mean, technically, since Ouroboros owns both this place and the game, they don't need to. But after they got some of the pros to start coming, the place has always been full like this. I doubt people are coming in only once a month… Here's to hoping I never have to make a damn reservation to come. Worst case, I guess I'll just have Avril get me in anyway."

"Who's Avril? One of your teammates?"

Sara scuffs. "She's our unofficial captain. But you probably know her as DarkEnding."

"Rank five DarkEnding?"

Sara raises her eyebrow. "You do know we're semi-pros, right? Is it really that surprising?"

"I mean, I was surprised when you told me your rank. I guess it just feels unreal to meet you guys in the flesh."

Sara can't stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Ha. Said the literal fucking prince."

"Fair enough, I suppose."

"Now, tell me something about your country."

***

Seven Seas

As a child, Seijuro remembers being entranced by the change of colors each floor's theme presents during the platform's accent.

Like having a peek at a hundred different worlds.

Unfortunately, the platform is by no means fast, which means Minister Hollins has all the time she needs to pester her country's princess with cheap flattery and political gossip, neither of which Seijuro is particularly interested in.

Mrs. Morris, on the other hand, seems to feel as out of place as her appearance suggests, often glancing down through the see-through floor with obvious discomfort. Were they alone, perhaps Seijuro would have attempted to comfort the poor woman.

"Well, I believe this is us. Always a pleasure, darling."

As the platform finally comes to a stop upon a floor of lustrous green light, Hollings curtsies toward Seijuro, a smile of perfect politeness covering her expression, and is quickly followed by Mrs. Morris, who looks as though she can't wait to step over solid ground again.

Seijuro contains herself from rolling her eyes as she returns the polite gesture. "Please, the pleasure is mine."

Seijuro watches them go with a small sigh of relief, for once, grateful for the fact her presence will stop others from coming aboard once they realize who she is.

She needs to calm herself.

"How is he?"

"It is not my place to comment."

Seijuro glances at Maria, who stands at the near end of the platform, hands behind her back and expression apologetic.

Seijuro knows better than to insist. Some of the others might have been persuaded to speak, but not Maria.

The ascent doesn't take much longer. It seems her goal is the middle floor, furthest from either entrance.

The line of Guards at the entrance doesn't bother Seijuro, even as they bow to her in perfect synchrony. The fact the whole floor is empty, however, very much does so, and Seijuro frowns as the glass platform comes to a slow stop in front of her father's Guard.

How many important people had their dinner canceled for this?

Seijuro walks through without acknowledging them or waiting for her guide to show her the way; at this point, it is quite obvious which one is her table, after all.

The deep-sea theme for the place, usually soothing, does nothing to calm her nerves as she walks toward the man standing near the only set table across the round space, his back turned to her as he stares through the window onto the city below.

"You're almost half an hour late."

Seijuro curtsies formally, although his back is still turned to her. Her father's stern expression, illuminated by the city lights against the window, showcases new wrinkles Seijuro is sure weren't there the last time they saw each other.

"Father, you didn't have to empty the whole floor for us. If the conversation is important, we could've met somewhere else."

Liam Aston's eyes are a powerful thing, their deep green a penetrating force to be reckoned with. Even to Seijuro, the king's gaze feels nearly physical on its weight as it falls upon her.

Though, as opposite to his usual stern demeanor, when he smiles, the effect is doubly so.

"I asked for your favorites."

Liam doesn't wait for Seijuro to answer as he walks by her and seats at the table's head, signaling for her to do the same.

"I reserved us one hour, but I didn't expect you to be this late. I'm afraid we won't have much time to eat together."

Seijuro sighs, making a show of grabbing a shrimp as she sits down in front of him. "There's enough food for ten here."

"I see you're still upset I missed your speech."

"How could I? It happened so long ago."

Seijuro does a conscious mental effort to glance at the table's content. It has, indeed, some of her favorite dishes, kept at ideal temperature by the tech-advanced trays of the restaurant. The vision is even enough to almost spark her apatite.

"You did wonderful, as always."

"You watched it? I thought you were busy."

Liam sighs. "If you stopped being prickly for a second, maybe you'd realize I was trying to give you a compliment."

Seijuro scuffs. "You had something for me? A surprise?"

"Yes, but first, perhaps you'd be happy to know I had a talk with this… Mr. Odell?"

Seijuro raises from her chair, nearly turning it over. "You what?!"

Liam raises his eyebrow. "I'm joking."

"I swear if you had anything to do with…"

Whom is she kidding? Of course he did.

"What was it this time?! You convinced them to choose me for the speech?! Forced Mr. Odell to perform his ridiculous act at the expense of his job?!"

"Seijuro, you're screaming."

"I'm aware! But it doesn't matter, now does it?! I mean, you reserved the whole fucking floor for us!"

His expression finally cracking, Liam also rises from his chair, though much more calmly. "Seijuro, please, you're being unreasonable."

"What did you do?! Bribed him?! Ordered?! Threatened his job!?"

Facing her furious gaze calmly, Liam speaks every word as if forcing them out, "I've never spoken with, bribed, or much less threatened a professor from your school. I've never had reason to. Now please, will you calm yourself?"

Seijuro laughs, a painful, sarcastic sound that scratches the back of her throat. Some part of her does realize she's perhaps being unreasonable… Throwing a tantrum, acting out of line without any proof.

It's like a dam breaking out. This was a terrible idea. She should have brought Kuro with her.

"Seijuro, what are you doing?"

"Getting answers."

The chosen Guard's eyes shrink like those of a deer against the imminent light as Seijuro approaches him, though, for his credit, he doesn't hide from her gaze or attempt to shy away as she presses her hand against his chest, all but paralyzing the man where he stands.

"Hi, I remember you. Sean, right? Do you remember me? Your future queen?"

"Your Highness-" Maria begins, only to stop dead in her tracks by a raise of hand from Liam which Seijuro catches with the corner of her eye.

"Tell me if he's speaking the truth, and we can leave all of this behind. I know you wouldn't lie to me, right? Because I will find out the truth eventually. Why not make things easier for the both of us?"

The man's eyes shrink several times as they stand locked by Seijuro's.

"Seijuro, please."

Seijuto ignores her father. "Was it you? Or one of your companions who did it? Don't worry, I know you were only following orders… And I would hate to involve little Mark in th-"

"Seijuro! That's enough! All of you, wait outside!"

Liam sighs, rubbing against his temple as his Guard quickly bows to him, then to Seijuro, clear relief visible in their movements.

For a brief moment, Seijuro considers ordering them to stay, but if they were to ignore her completely… She doesn't know what she'd do if that happened.

"Do you even realize what you were about to do? Threatening a child?"

Seijuro bites her lower lip as she watches the Guard walk away, desperately attempting to exercise some amount of control over the furious storm of unrestrained rage brewing through her veins.

Where did this even come from? Was she truly this upset about the speech?

"Seijuro."

Her father's touch upon her shoulder comes as a surprise, her eyes locking onto his as she blinks back tears of frustration from falling. For a moment, she thinks he's about to hug her, but Liam hesitates, and the moment is gone, his royal demeanor returned.

"I'm sorry. It was an insensitive joke." Liam clears his throat softly as his hand falls by his side.

"Is that all you have to say?"

Her voice is raw, and Seijuro hates the sound of it… But not as much as her father seems to, and his gaze quickly averts from hers.

"I understand why you're upset. The many reasons why you're upset. And I understand why you'd doubt my word on this. However-"

"We have a duty to our people, blah, blah, blah… Yes, I still remember. We had a deal, Father."

Liam nods, smiling sadly. "Indeed. A deal I followed through with, if I may add. Even though you seem determined to believe the worse of me."

Seijuro stares at the deep-sea-themed floor, watching the moving images as she feels the weight of her father's gaze upon her.

"Aren't you going to ask if I did it?"

"Again? There's no point. You're never going to admit it, and I don't believe you when you say you didn't."

Without waiting for his response, Seijuro walks toward the window, where she found him earlier, and rests her hand against the glass as she stares at the city below.

Moving about their lives, as they're supposed to. And it's her family's job to keep it that way. Until the country turns to dust… Or there are no more Astons left. She has a good guess as to what will happen first.

"You've always liked the view from up top."

Seijuro scoffs. At least, she appreciates his lack of excuses. He did what he thought was necessary to prepare her, and never once apologized for it. She might have even accepted it, were things to have been different.

"Would you stop dancing around the subject? I'm sure we've both had a long day."

Liam laughs. "I tend to forget how many thorns my little rose carries close to her heart. At least, until she starts speaking."

Quirking a small smile in spite of herself, Seijuro raises her eyebrow. "Your little rose?"

"Not so little anymore, I suppose."

Liam sighs as he rests his hand against the glass, mimicking Seijuro almost perfectly, though he doesn't seem conscious of the fact. Did she acquire the habit from him without noticing?

"Seijuro, I believe it is time for you to assume a more active role in the company."

"Not the country?"

"Not yet, no."

"Is that why you called me here?"

"Yes."

"So, what is it? You do know I don't exactly have a free schedule, right?"

Liam laughs, attracting Seijuro's gaze to his expression of smug mischief. "Yes, I'm quite aware of that. Don't worry, I wouldn't expect you to jeopardize your education or club activities over the internship."

"An internship? In my own company?" Seijuro questions, unable to hide her obvious contempt.

"Careful, young lady," Liam warns, "It isn't your company yet."

Seijuro scoffs. "Sure, it isn't."

Liam sighs. "Seijuro, this is important. I'm delegating the task to you because I believe you're in the best position to accomplish it… And because I thought you'd like to participate."

"Why?"

"Your mother."

Seijuro tenses, standing very, very still all of a sudden. "You figured something?" she asks, her voice barely audible.

"Perhaps… It's complicated. You'll see."

Clenching her teeth, Seijuro barely manages to contain herself from screaming.

Liam sighs. "Please, calm yourself."

"How am I supposed to stay calm?! Give me the details! If this can help her somehow…!"

Liam seems to hesitate. "We'll make an announcement after tomorrow."

"And I'm supposed to just wait and wonder?! Why have I never heard of this before?!"

Seijuro cringes as her voice rings throughout the room, however, once she raises her eyes to meet Liam's gaze again, her father simply approaches for a kiss against her forehead, his gaze filled with understanding.

"I'm sorry. I thought giving you false hope might be worse than the alternative... Perhaps it was wrong of me to make the choice for you. You've always been braver than any child has a right to be."

"Y-you're leaving, aren't you? W-what happened to us having half an hour left?"

"I'm sorry."

"Just fucking go."

Liam backs away, though his hand remains against her elbow for a moment more still. In a last childish display of defiance, Seijuro refuses to raise her gaze, even as she hears his hesitant steps beginning to gain momentum.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Do you remember our conversation about Crecia?"

"Funny thing. I just happened to meet their ambassador this morning," Seijuro replies, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"I suspected as much. I'd be inconvenient if their ideas were to gain momentum amongst certain… circles."

"We could've ended their war with the press of a button. Saved hundreds of thousands."

"You're old enough to understand the repercussions for doing as much would've cost us our current neutral standing in the global eye, and what that means. We cannot afford to have them fear us. Having them unite against us would be-"

"Then we'll become their Gods! Let them fear us, if that's what it takes to stop them from killing each other pointlessly! From starving their children to death over who has a right to what!"

Liam smiles, though his eyes remain painted by sadness. "But we're not Gods, my love, and we'd do well to remember as much. Others have attempted what you're suggesting only to see their empires crumble before their eyes under the weight of humanity. Let them have their wars. Let them have their kingdoms and empires. We'll prosper, and we'll remain. Such is our burden, do you understand?"

"…Yes, Father."

"As for their prince, consider this another test. I did promise I'd stop setting them up without warning you first."

Seijuro clenches her fists as her gaze remains locked on Liam's, though she is careful to have them remain hidden from his eyes within her dress's foldings. "And what am I supposed to accomplish, exactly? I can't really stop them from talking to people to pledge their case."

"They'll have little success among the upper caste unless they manage to gather enough support from the public. They know they cannot hope to challenge us otherwise. I figured having you stop the boy from gathering support should be simple enough… as opposed to taking more drastic measures."

"Is this a test of my skills? Or my faith?"

"Your conviction. Are they to succeed, and our family to face a scandal, any ongoing projects might have to be put on hold, including-"

"Mother's."

"Yes."

"I feel sick."

"Seijuro… If you wish, I can find another way."

"No. I'll do what needs to be done. You say I must keep them from gathering support from the peasantry?"

Liam chuckles. "I'm glad to see our dire situation has not affected your sense of humor. Indeed, make sure the public's impression remains in our favor for the near future. I trust accomplishing as much should be of little concern to you?"

"I'm about to yawn."

"Thank you."

Liam nods before continuing on his way toward the exit, and Seijuro watches him go distractedly, absently noticing how his footsteps seem to match the thunderous, yet strangely slow, beat of her heart against its cage.

Hope, after so long?

…She should feel happy.

Thrilled.

Everything… Back the way it was?

The universe, as it should be?

The world might make sense again.

HER world might make sense again.

***

Regret and Victory

The first time Sara broke the law, she was twelve.

"Wait, really?!"

"Yes! If they didn't look so different, I'd swear they were separated as children!"

Through many smartwatch videos of employees and visitors available in the Community, she mapped the building and its surroundings, assembling a route she could take without being caught by security.

"She didn't!"

"I swear! She's crazy!"

Sneaking in amongst children from a different school during a field trip, she escaped through a bathroom window on the second floor, an opening big enough only for a child to squeeze through.

"You're so beautiful. I don't know how you can't see that."

"…Wait, what?"

"Don't pretend you didn't hear me, Sara."

After that, it was almost easy. She remembers walking almost as if in a daze, underneath trees of a small forest as the sun peeks at her from above. She remembers the frantic beating of her heart, almost unbearably loud against her ears, but not loud enough to silence the machines in the distance, machines she didn't even know she would recognize.

"W-wait Uren, I don't think I can do this. I t-think you're c-cute, too, but-"

"…But?"

"It's just… I-I have to go."

With a blank expression, staring into the distant raising smoke, was how she was found.

"What? Go? Sara, are you serious?"

"I'm s-sorry. I f-forgot to tell Isobel I was going to be late."

Sara raises from her chair, quickly averting her eyes from the shocked expression of the handsome boy in front of her as she sweeps her eyes over the filled café.

'High levels of user mental distress detected. Suggestion: take deep breaths; drink a cup of water; find a place to sit.'

'C'mon, you could warn her in about two thoughts! Are you okay?! If you need to go, I could walk you home... Because you don't look okay.'

Paying the café's bill is almost more than she can handle, and Sara finds herself blinking rapidly in order to avoid falling… or throwing up.

It's too much. What was she thinking?

"Sara?"

Sara looks up and realizes Uren holds her arm, honeyed eyes filled with concern.

"Sorry, I did it again, didn't I? You looked about to fall. Sara, you're pale."

She could tell him. Everything. He'd understand.

"Look, if you don't wanna see me anymore… Maybe you should call a friend to pick you up. I really don't think walking home by yourself-"

She runs.

Which is stupid, because she is sure Uren is much faster than her.

But Uren doesn't chase after her. Instead, as she rushes past tables and shocked stares, Sara hears a loud stream of curses in a language she can't understand. It isn't hard to guess their origin.

'Fuck, look, did you at least-'

'All ongoing connections terminated.'

As she throws herself amidst the crowd, neon light, and graffiti, Sara absently notices tears streaming down her cheeks.

It serves her right, for not staying in bed today.