The Long Forgotten Childhood pt2

At the end of March, upon returning from school, where he was nearly expelled at the end of the school year due to a "minor conflict" with a physical education teacher, Alduin found the whole family sitting in the living room.

"Welcome back. We would like to talk to you."

The Hyodo family head greeted his younger son, Tatsumi

"What, right now?" asked Tatsumi, scrutinizing the gathered family members.

"Yes," replied Shiho.

"I'll change and come down. Alright?" Tatsumi said, nodding to his father and brother.

"Change and come down quickly"

"And hurry up!" his mother yelled after Alduin.

It was clear that a family council was on the horizon, and he needed to prepare for it. Ascending to the second floor, Alduin quickly shed his outerwear in his room before visiting his parents' bedroom.

There, he searched under the bed and found a magazine from his father's personal collection, which he tucked into his pocket.

Alduin knew how to get votes at these family councils - usually by blackmailing his father or brother. Mostly his father, as his older brother had not yet earned the right to vote.

Descending to the living room, Alduin sat in the armchair opposite the family couch where the rest of the family was seated.

"So, Tatsumi, we're tired of hearing complaints from your teachers, and we've made a decision. You're not going to military academy. You're going to the same school where Issei is studying" the father said without beating around the bush, knowing it would be useless to do so with Tatsumi.

"Father, did you hit your head today or something?" Alduin exclaimed after a brief moment of silence.

"We're serious, Tatsumi. I'm tired of hearing about your fights at parent-teacher conferences. What's wrong with the gym teacher that you almost crippled him?" his father asked.

"Takeda-sensei? He groped Akane, for which he got a punch from me and a kick in the balls from her" Alduin replied, leaving out the part where it was due to Akane's trip that the PE teacher fell on her.

"We were about to leave the poor guy alone when someone suggested that the gym teacher likes younger girls and that he is a master in all kinds of sports."

"So you broke his nose?"

"Not his nose, his jaw. He could have been arrested, just like Issei, but he got away with it... with just minor injuries. Even the vice-principal was nodding in approval from the window. This worm was creeping on his granddaughter from the senior students' dormitory."

"Enough!" interjected the mother into the argument. "You are going to attend the Kuoh Academy, and that's not up for discussion!"

"What am I even going to do there?" asked Alduin.

"I think being around girls will help you become calmer and teach you what to say and how to behave" replied his mother.

"When Issei went there, you thought the same thing. Aren't you afraid of falling into the same trap again?"

"Issei was a special case" his mother thought for a moment and looked at her eldest son before answering.

"Back then, I suggested turning him in to the police to avoid future misunderstandings."

"Hey! I haven't done anything like that yet!" protested Issei.

"That's exactly the point. You haven't done it yet. Dad, they won't accept me there. I have a bad record." Alduin continued to argue against his parents' idea.

"But they did accept Issei though" argued his father.

"If you don't want to send me to a military school, then enroll me in a police academy. That way, I can help my brother if he gets arrested. Or, I could take up the class teacher's offer and become a lawyer. It would take longer, but I would still have the chance to get my brother out of jail." Alduin presented his alternative options.

"No military school, no police academy! My son won't serve in the army, especially when our country is nothing more than America's whore! And it's too dangerous to work in the police force! A lawyer is a more acceptable choice, but you need an education, and the Kuo Academy is a prestigious school." his mother refused all other options.

"But my calling is the personnel department. Since childhood, I've dreamt of becoming either a cool soldier, a slippery politician, or busting up the rainbow demonstrations." Alduin retorted.

"Neither of those is an option for you! I said so!" declared his father.

"Father, you're forcing me to take drastic measures." said Alduin sorrowfully. A lighter appeared in his hands, and from his pocket, he took out his father's treasure.

"If you send me to the Tentari Military Academy, I won't burn this."

"T-Tatsumi, wait" stuttered the father.

"The 'Comic Lo' anthology for 2014, limited edition with bonus pages. The gem of your collection. Don't send me to Kuo, and it'll keep on living" smirked Alduin, holding the lit lighter directly under the middle of the journal.

But the flying slipper hitting his forehead interrupted Alduin's plan.

"Noooo! My treasure!" wailed the father.

Alduin did manage to set the journal on fire, but this time it was an entirely accidental, and magic had nothing to do with it.

"Woman! Why are you throwing shoes!" yelled Alduin, but was silenced by another flying slipper.

"I said, you're going to Kuoh Academy!"

"Why? What did I forget in the breeding ground of feminists, yaoi fangirls, and lesbians?"

"Tatsumi, it's not that bad there. There are lots of pretty girls, you'll find yourself a girlfriend, at least."

"There you have it. Listen to your older brother's advice."

"My treasure!"

"The older brother, whom all the girls in the neighborhood avoid, and some adults too?"

"Issei, even though he's not the brightest one, and we don't expect him to have children anymore, sometimes he has flashes of intelligence." replied the father from the floor, mourning the five burnt pages.

Alduin was restrained from using the Thu'um or the Bend Will spell because the Dovah never used such persuasion methods on their family members, typically settling their disagreements with brute force or a weighty word. Besides, the elder members of the Dovah, namely Akatosh and Alduin, were much stronger than their younger kin and could punish them severely for such an attempt.

Alduin thought that Akatosh would surpass him in terms of ingenuity and lethality in the matter of punishment, and he had already experienced it once on his own skin.

The argument continued until the evening, but Alduin's stubbornness was unwavering.

However, the tipping point in the argument was when Alduin's mother threatened to disconnect his internet, trash his laptop, and sell his Silmarillion Online game account on the internet auction for one yen if he didn't attend the prestigious Kuoh Academy.

For Alduin, it was a low blow.

He had invested so much time and money in leveling up and equipping his dragon character that he had started to see it as a part of himself.

Flying through the game's locations and killing everything in sight was his favorite way to relieve stress accumulated in real life, and his mother's threat had the desired effect.

Late in the evening, the brothers were raiding in the aforementioned MMO from Issei's room.

"Tell me, Tatsumi, why is your character so dear to you?" Issei asked.

"Are you kidding me? You know how much effort I put into it," Alduin replied.

"You have the strongest character in the game. Aren't you tired of it?"

"I'll never get tired of chasing that elf with the username MaoMaoMagic! Or killing those noobs who run around the locations."

"And why did you get so worked up about her?"

"She poses next to my corpse, and then posts screenshots on the forum with the caption 'Cutie.'"

"Well, it's a common thing."

"No one dares to make cute poses next to the World-Eater's corpse! And the elf with the giant two-handed axe - it's a heresy! She must be burned. Only the young Numenorean swordswoman Carnifex and the elven spearwoman Hangov help me restore my nerve cells."

"Well, you know..."

"I'm giving you an example that's accessible to such an idiot like you. Let's just say, hypothetically, a girl invites you on a date, which is already unreal, you meet her, go to cafes and shops, and then you find out it's actually a guy. What's your reaction?"

"I would be enraged!"

"Exactly. And I'm enraged. An elf with an axe...heresy! Elves should only use bows and one-handed weapons, and at most - spears, which Hangov proves. And magic is their forte, I won't argue with that."

"But why is that situation unrealistic?"

"Because no girl will ever approach you."

"And why not!?"

"When was the last time you interacted with the fairer sex without assaulting or peeping?" Alduin asked Issei, who fell into thought.

"Except for the neighbor's thorn named Shidou? - Alduin added, after a few seconds of silence.

After a few more seconds of thought, he added

"Double Helix in your jaw by Kaori Muruyama and Shiina Katsae is also an exception."

"Isn't Shidou a guy?" Issei asked.

"Issei... You're a jerk!''

"What? Why?''

"Heal! Gimling is going down!" Alduin exclaimed, annoyed.

"But isn't he's the thickest tank?! Oh, damn!"