The Loud Stag The quiet Wolf and The Wise Hawk.

We arrived at a tent. a big ass tent. It had the Baratheon Coat of arms swaying in front. of it

After entering it did not take Robert even 20 seconds to pour us two cups of wine before grabbing the pitcher.

I sat at the wooden table decorated with engravings of stags and trees.

"so," he said and then downed the cup before exhaling loudly, pouring himself another one, and continuing "I heard rumors that you breath fire. can fly and have 4 horse cocks."

This made me spit the wine I was sipping on. WTF?

After coughing a lung out, I just chuckled. "spitfire. yea. fly? nah. and I only have one cock. it's big but still the one of a man." we both laughed like two old friends.

Who the fuck comes up with these stories... Medieval times. no TV so gossip is the entertainment then. the juicer you make a story the more entertaining it is.

I bet Lord Darry and Bessie are responsible for the cock thing. the only person that saw it was her so far.

We kept with the small talk for a while until a bannerman of Robbert entered the tent and announced the other guests.

"Lord John Arryn and Lord Eddard Stark" he said as he bowed

"what are you waiting for? let them in damm it!" as loud as always Bobby B said his mind while slapping the table so hard that you would bet there were cracks in it.

Gotta give it to him he was charismatic as he was described in the books. he was perhaps a shit king but someone that you would think considering a drinking buddy? fuck yea.

Liam Neeson wannabe and teenage Sean Ben walked in and sat at the same table we were in.

"food and drink!" Bellowed Robbert as the Bannerman was exiting the tent. he turned around and said "my lord" before bowing and exiting the tent.

the silence was palpable as I and the other two lords that entered measured each other.

"Is there a war or something!?" quick to temper Robert bellowed again before placing two more cups and pouring wine.

John just sighed and drowned his cup while Eddard just took sips.

"You claim to be from beyond the sunset sea. Bold of you" Said John as Bobby B refilled his cup.

"bold how? it is the truth," I said as I just took a gulp of wine.

"you claim that Brandon the Shipwright survived and landed on the "sunset lands" and that you are a lord there. high thane. a position we have heard is equivalent to the hand of the king. forgive me if its a tale hard to believe" Said Eddard.

"Have you seen armor like the ones of mine? have you heard of people that can breathe fire out of their mouths? have you heard of the "sunset lands" also known as the land of NIRN?" raising my voice at the end "if you are going to call me a liar then do so. don't beat around the bush lord Arryn and lord Stark"

This took them aback. they never have been called out this way before. always shown respect and courtesy.

"Enough!" yelled Robert as he slammed a fist on the table "Tell them who you are. and be done with it."

he was probably referring to his story. but an introduction would be more appropriate.

"My name is Lord Garen James Crownguard. High Thane of Skyrim. the last Dovakin. Master of Tuum. True Descendant of the Aenor. last Blood of Isildur King of Gondor. The one who Crossed the Sunset sea" before taking a mouthful of air I continued to explain what were those titles and how I got to the western shore of the Riverlands

it looked like John Arryn was having a stroke. while Eddard was looking like I just wrecked his entire world up and then fucked his ass just for the laughs. which made Robert belly laugh and down his cup.

We kept drinking and talking until the food came. it was roasted meats, a platter full of cheese another one with some fruit and veggies, and finally bread.

Everyone served themselves. i waited and grabbed a piece of bread. sliced it in half, then took a few slices of the still piping hot meat and some cheese. a few slices of tomato and cucumba. the only condiment was mustard. fucking savages. after assembling my sandwich i just grabbed it with my hands and bit into it.

"needs salt and pepper, but still decadent enough. *ughhh cough cough* " I just choked a bit on the dry bread, after drinking a bit of wine I was ok "I need you, people, to learn to make mayonnaise and ketchup, perhaps even BBQ sauce." I muttered under my breath... or thinking about it better make the sauces. then present them to the nobels and sell the recipe.

Bobby was actually really happy to learn what a Sandwich was. and the fact that he only needed one hand to eat what before he needed knife and fork really sold it to him since he could hold the sandwich in one and the wine cup in the other (or perhaps some poor wenches cunt.)

Robbert only bragged about killing Mountain clan's men from the mountains of the vale. but mostly about Bedding Women.

Eddard Stayed quiet after being called out. i would show him after we finish eating. a new shout. perhaps Frost Breath for the Lord of Ice. would be more fitting.

And John Arryn only asked questions about my "homeland" trying to find out if we were a threat. things like how many kingdoms, soldiers, and their capabilities. some of those I answered others I just smiled and ignored, better to keep them on their toes.

after I told them the Sigil of the ship that "attacked" us on our voyage here I promised that one day I would claim revenge. if my memories were correct before Euron became an Eldrich mad demon he hid in Old wick during the Greyjoy rebellion. The seat of House Dunn. the only fuckers in the iron islands that have a Valyrian steel sword (that we know off) so that would be two crows with one stone (pun intended) not only get a Valyrian steel sword but also kill Euron Crow Fucker before he goes full Lovecraft

After some more pleasantries and chatting a Stark guard assuming by what the colors he wore, entered

"Lord Stark. Lord Arryn. Lord Baratheon. Lord..." he did not know who I was LOL

"Corwnguard" I answered

"Lord Crownguard" he finished with a gulp. seems that someone has been listening to rumors too. gossiping hens the lot of them. "the northern lord's banners have been sighted approaching. They will be here in around half an hour.

this made me rise an eyebrow. so Brandon the Idiot. Lyana The fool. and Balls of Steel Benjen were coming. also if I kept an eye on Howland Reed and prevented him from getting bullied there would never be a mystery knight. All tough I think Lyanna only looked for an excuse to participate.

We exited and all headed towards our tents to "freshen up" before meeting them. I was invited by Bobby. Eddard glared at his friend for a second. still does not trust me hugh? John stayed quiet.

After entering my tent i quickly stored my armor in my ring. Easier than taking it off by hand. don't have a squire... yet.

after putting on some Fancy clothes. ones I was able to commission from the sewmisstress of that cock merchant I was 300 gold dragons lighter but also i looked the part of a lord.

the clothes were basically a Classic 2 piece suit. with a Tie. the shirt was Yellow. the Tie was Blue and the jacket and Dress pants were black with a golden Trim just like my armor. the breast pocket with a white handkerchief had my "coat of arms" sown into it. I looked Wierd compared to the other lords. but I used these clothes every time I had an appointed dinner with some lord.

after strapping the cloak to the shoulders I was ready. looking like a Strong can of spinach.

I arrived at the northern part of the camp and Bobby B was already there. he looked at me and raised an eyebrow at my attire but said nothing, yet I bet he found it interesting, he kept looking at it. soon John and Eddard joined us with their court members. there was Yohn Royce and pretty much every lord and knight of the Vale to greet the Heir of the North. The fiance of a lord Paramount and many other lords.

As soon as they were in eyesight (around a mile out) I decided to make a bit of a spectacle. Stepping forward out of the line of The people wating I decided to be the clown. as for now i only need to become famous. famous enough to get recognized by everyone, it's no wonder people keep talking about Duncan the Tall after he has been dead for 20 freaking years. the man was a legend. and if I'm getting my throat slit or shit myself to death on some battlefield so be it, but at least I will be remembered.

"Fo Krah Diin!!!!" this time I did shout as strongly as I could. the result? frozen land, spikes of condensed humidity in the air made snowflakes falling and the temperature of the summer dropped significantly.

Everyone, even Bobby B was quiet. I just bowed slightly and said " ice for the north. for winter is coming. right ?" my coky smirk must have been too much because Bobby B started to laugh so hard he was clutching his sides. Eddard was looking at me with fear. and John Arryn had a poker face. but even with this cold air, the ice provided I still could see some sweat build up.

Fear me, Peasants. for I am Dovakin.