"I... I..." stuttered Ellis, trembling all over.
"Ah, I see. You want to read the contract again, right? Rocco, get the contract for her," ordered Vittorio. The Capo quickly picked up the document and handed it to the young woman. "I remember that you always liked to read these things before signing. So please, read it..."
"Alright," said Ellis, staring at the paper.
"Out loud, Miss Barker," commanded Vittorio, startling the young woman. "I want all our witnesses to be aware of what you're signing."
"Okay... All right," agreed Ellis. "Prenuptial Agreement... By means of this instrument, Vittorio Amorielle, hereinafter referred to as the first party, and Ellis Barker, hereinafter referred to as the second party, jointly referred to as the parties..."
Celebrate this Prenuptial Agreement, subject to the clauses and conditions stipulated below, which they voluntarily accept and grant:
FIRST CLAUSE - PROPERTY REGIME
1.1. The property regime of the marriage shall be a total separation of assets, whereby all assets, movable or immovable, acquired by either party before or during the marriage, shall remain the individual property of the party who acquired them, without being shared, except when acquired as co-ownership.
1.2. In the event of marriage dissolution, the assets acquired by either party during its duration shall not be shared between the parties.
SECOND CLAUSE - PREMARITAL PROPERTY AND RIGHTS
2.1. The FIRST PARTY declares ownership of the following assets and rights, acquired prior to the commencement of the marriage governed by this agreement, which total:
Value: $32,850,199,058.75 (Thirty-two billion, eight hundred fifty million, one hundred ninety-nine thousand, fifty-eight dollars, and seventy-five cents).
2.2. The SECOND PARTY declares ownership of the following assets and rights, acquired prior to the commencement of the marriage governed by this agreement, which total:
Value: -$500,000.00 (Negative five hundred thousand dollars).
2.3. The assets acquired before the commencement of the marriage shall be considered the separate property of the respective party, as well as any substitutions thereof, even during the course of the marriage.
2.4. The assets acquired during the marriage shall be the separate property of the party who acquires them and shall not be shared between the parties, as well as any substitutions thereof.
THIRD CLAUSE - ADMINISTRATION OF ASSETS AND COUPLE'S RELATIONSHIP (ENGAGEMENT TO HONEYMOON)
3.1. Expenses shall be paid by the FIRST PARTY, who shall attend to their own expenses and contribute to the couple's and SECOND PARTY's expenses in proportion to their obligations, as follows:
3.1.1. ENGAGEMENT DINNER: The SECOND PARTY's participation in the engagement dinner shall be mandatory, actively contributing to good relations with the guests, the FIRST PARTY's relatives, as well as the FIRST PARTY themselves. Additionally, the following obligations shall be defined:
3.1.1.1. SPEECH: VALUE: $15,000.
3.1.1.2. ACCOUNT OF THE COUPLE'S FIRST MEETING: VALUE: $15,000.
3.1.1.3. ATTENDING TO GUESTS AND RELATIVES: VALUE: $20,000.
This will result in a total payment of $50,000 (Fifty thousand dollars), if satisfactory to the FIRST PARTY. The amount shall be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the SECOND PARTY's account.
3.1.2. MARRIAGE: The participation of the SECOND PARTY in the wedding shall be mandatory, actively contributing to a good relationship with the guests, the FIRST PARTY's family, as well as with the FIRST PARTY themselves. In addition, this clause will define the obligation to:
3.1.2.1. Choose appropriate attire for the wedding, makeup, and hair: VALUE: $10,000.
3.1.2.2. Preparation and delivery of vows: $10,000.
3.1.2.3. Kiss during the ceremony (PASSIONATE): VALUE: $10,000.
3.1.2.4. Cutting of the wedding cake: VALUE: $10,000.
3.1.2.5. First dance of the newlyweds: VALUE: $10,000.
This will result in a total payment of $50,000 (fifty thousand dollars) if deemed satisfactory by the FIRST PARTY. The amount shall be paid by the FIRST PARTY as an immediate deposit into the SECOND PARTY's account.
3.1.3. WEDDING NIGHT: The participation of the SECOND PARTY in the wedding night shall be mandatory, actively contributing to a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY. This clause will define the obligation to:
3.1.3.1. Choose appropriate attire for the wedding night, makeup, and hair: VALUE: $10,000.
3.1.3.2. FIRST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER:
Ellis stopped reading and stared at Vittorio, who stood like a statue in front of her.
"Can we at least negotiate this clause?" the young woman asked, trying to hold back tears.
"No clause is negotiable," Vittorio replied.
"Please..." Ellis pleaded.
Vittorio's shot was the answer Ellis received to her request. Luckily, he shot the lampshade next to his brother's head.
"Continue reading, Miss Barker," Vittorio ordered calmly.
3.1.3.2. FIRST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER:
This clause will be fulfilled according to the FIRST PARTY's INTEREST, as defined below:
a) ONE SEXUAL ENCOUNTER ON THE FIRST NIGHT: VALUE: $10,000.
b) TWO SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS ON THE FIRST NIGHT: VALUE: $20,000.
c) THREE OR MORE SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS ON THE FIRST NIGHT: VALUE: $40,000.
IF THE SECOND PARTY IS A VIRGIN:
VALUE: $500,000.
This will result in the payment of the sum of the values, if deemed satisfactory by the FIRST PARTY. The amount shall be paid by the FIRST PARTY as an immediate deposit into the SECOND PARTY's account.
3.1.4. HONEYMOON: The participation of the SECOND PARTY in the seven-day honeymoon shall be mandatory, actively contributing to a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY. This clause will define the obligation to:
3.1.4.1. Participate in all meals: VALUE: $500 (per day).
3.1.4.2. Participate in all recreational activities (per activity): VALUE: $500.
3.1.4.4. HUGS AND AFFECTIONATE TOUCHES:
a) HUG: VALUE: $50.
b) HAIR STROKING: $50.
c) NECK CARESS: $75.
d) OTHER PARTS OF THE BODY: $25.
This clause does not include MASTURBATION.
3.1.4.3. KISS:
a) ONE KISS DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $200.
b) TWO KISSES DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $250.
c) "THREE KISSES DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $400 FOR EACH SATISFACTORY KISS."
The kisses exchanged between the SPOUSES must demonstrate affection, attention, and above all, passion in order to be validated.
3.1.4.4 DANCE:
Each dance performed by the SPOUSES will have the following value: VALUE: $100.
3.1.4.5 SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP:
This clause will be fulfilled according to the INTEREST of the FIRST SPOUSE, as defined below:
a) ONE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $2,000.
b) TWO SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $4,000.
c) THREE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS DURING THE HONEYMOON: VALUE: $4,000 FOR EACH SATISFACTORY RELATIONSHIP.
This will result in payment for the sum of the values, if it is satisfactory for the FIRST PARTY. The amount will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
CLAUSE FOUR - MATRIMONIAL OBLIGATIONS OF THE COUPLE
4.1. The household expenses will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in a manner that covers their own expenses and contributes to the expenses of the couple and the SECOND PARTY in proportion to their obligations, as follows:
4.1.1 KISS: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to the good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by engaging in intense and passionate kissing. Each kiss will incur a payment of $100 (one hundred dollars), if it is satisfactory for the FIRST PARTY. If the kiss is initiated by the FIRST PARTY, the paid amount is half of the specified value. The amount will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
NOTE: PECKS WILL NOT BE COUNTED.
4.1.2 HUGS AND AFFECTIONATE GESTURES: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to the good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by engaging in affectionate gestures and hugs. Each hug will incur a payment of $25 (twenty-five dollars), and gestures of caressing will incur a payment of $40 (forty dollars), if it is satisfactory for the FIRST PARTY. The amount will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.3 SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to the good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by engaging in sexual relations with them. Each sexual relationship will incur a payment of $2,000 (two thousand dollars), which may be increased in the case of MASTURBATION ($500), ORAL SEX ($1,000), and if it is satisfactory for the FIRST PARTY. The amount will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.4 CHILDREN: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to the good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by having children with them. Each child will incur a payment of $300,000 (three hundred thousand dollars), upon proof of legitimacy as the parent. The amount will be paid by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.5. HOUSE MANAGEMENT: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to maintaining a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by managing the household of the SPOUSES. Each task performed for the benefit of the home will entail a payment of $5,000 (five thousand dollars), doubled if the SECOND PARTY organizes social events for the FIRST PARTY and they are deemed satisfactory by the FIRST PARTY. The payment will be made by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.6. SOCIAL EVENTS: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to maintaining a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by attending events with them. Each social event will entail a payment of $500 (five hundred dollars), doubled if the SECOND PARTY dances with the FIRST PARTY, or an amount equivalent to any of the obligations stated in other clauses of the contract that is satisfactory to the FIRST PARTY. The payment will be made by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.7. VACATIONS: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to maintaining a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by going on vacations with them. Each vacation will entail a payment of $1,500 (one thousand five hundred dollars), plus the amounts equivalent to any of the obligations stated in other clauses of the contract that is satisfactory to the FIRST PARTY. The payment will be made by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
4.1.8. ACCIDENTS, ILLNESSES, AND OTHER AILMENTS: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to maintaining a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by accompanying them to the hospital in case of illness, accidents, and other ailments that affect the FIRST PARTY, as well as taking care of them if necessary. Each of the described situations will entail a payment of $200 (two hundred dollars), if deemed satisfactory by the FIRST SPOUSE. The payment will be made by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
NOTE: IN CASE OF THE DEATH OF THE FIRST PARTY, PLEASE CONSULT THE ASSOCIATED WILL.
4.1.9. ABOUT FEELINGS: The SECOND PARTY may, optionally, actively contribute to maintaining a good relationship with the FIRST PARTY by expressing any kind of feelings for the FIRST PARTY. If the SECOND PARTY falls in love with the FIRST PARTY, it will entail a payment of $500,000 (five hundred thousand dollars), doubled if the SECOND PARTY genuinely declares their love for the FIRST PARTY and it is deemed satisfactory by the FIRST PARTY. The payment will be made by the FIRST PARTY, in the form of an immediate deposit into the account of the SECOND PARTY.
NOTE: IF THE FIRST PARTY FALLS IN LOVE, THE AMOUNT WILL BE TWICE THAT STATED IN THIS CLAUSE. IF THE FIRST PARTY LOVES, THE AMOUNT WILL BE FOUR TIMES THAT STATED IN THIS CLAUSE.
CLAUSE FIFTH - DURATION
5.1. This prenuptial agreement shall be effective as of the date of the marriage of the PARTIES and shall terminate upon the payment of FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS to be paid to the SECOND PARTY, provided they fulfill their obligations.
5.1.1. The FIRST PARTY may, exceptionally, renounce the obligations of the SECOND PARTY and request the dissolution of the marriage, termination of this contract, and settlement of this agreement.
5.2. Upon the termination of this agreement, FIRST PARTY shall grant the dissolution of the marriage to the SECOND PARTY, as well as the full amount of all debts owed to the SECOND PARTY.
5.3. By this instrument, the parties undertake to comply with the duties of loyalty, respect, assistance, and the care, support, and education of their children.
CLAUSE SIXTH - AGREEMENT
6.1. The PARTIES declare that they fully understand this agreement, acknowledging and agreeing to its binding nature, which will also be in favor of themselves and their respective heirs, successors, and beneficiaries.
CLAUSE SEVENTH - JURISDICTION
7.1. The parties choose the jurisdiction of New York to settle any doubts regarding the enforcement of this agreement.
And, for being just and agreed upon, the PARTIES celebrate and sign this instrument in two identical copies, in the presence of the witnesses named and indicated below, who also subscribe to it, for it to have its legal effects.
New York, April ninth.
___________________________________________
Vittorio Amorielle
FIRST PARTY
___________________________________________
Ellis Barker
SECOND PARTY
WITNESSES:
1) __________________________________
Name:
2) __________________________________
Name:
"Thank you, Miss Barker," Vittorio expressed his gratitude as Ellis finished reading. "Now, please sign."
Rocco took a pen out of his pocket and handed it to Ellis, who saw no alternative but to sign the document, causing a satisfied smile to form on Vittorio's lips. She extended the pen towards Vittorio, who took it and used it to sign the document. He had barely finished signing when Ellis couldn't resist and had to ask the question that had been nagging at her mind.
"Why are you doing all of this? Why marry me?"
"Once you told me that I couldn't buy you..." Vittorio recalled, handing the pen back to Ellis. "Well, look at what I just did: I bought you for half a million dollars."
"You didn't buy me..." Ellis denied, shaking her head slowly. "That's not buying..."
"Are you sure?" Vittorio questioned, a mischievous smile on his face.
"This is just payment for the debt. Know that everything I do will only be to end this. This marriage won't last a month, Mr. Amorielle, I guarantee you that."
"Then prove that you can dissolve this marriage in a month," Vittorio said, extending his arm to Ellis. "We have an engagement dinner to attend... Let's see if you're capable of earning the promised fifty thousand dollars."