Dressing to impress. The clothes make the man. Or at least keeping up appearances.
All tiring statements or sayings that people abide by, social rules follow to a T. And as it should. As social creatures, we need to learn how to present yourself in a proper manner. It is so that we do not shame ourself but also wearing clothes that we think are good also gives a confidence boost to yourself.
It gives us an air of a confident gait when we walk and even to how we talk. It even defines how we act in public, whether we show that we are comfortable in our own skin or a meek person too shy to even talk.
It shows portrays strength in character, presenting yourself in a poised manner. And in turn increasing our own reputation within our inner circles but also outside of our own domain. It companies, it shows that you are a professional when you wear a suit. Yet it is not limited to companies.
It is a wide scale phenomenon in literally everywhere you go to. In the army, in a restaurant kitchen to its own staff. Reason for that is because of what i have said earlier, it shows that you take yourself and your career seriously and can be trusted upon in a given task.
But i admit there are exceptions to it of course, but it is still a guide that we can follow if we want to present the best of yourself. In my opinion, its tiring.
Sure there is a time and place for it but sometimes i couldn't give a shit. We wear clothes we don't even like to impress people we don't even know. It's bullshit in a sense yet necessary.
I'm maintaining this because in the process of choosing my outfit tomorrow, i almost went insane right in the middle of it. Almost pulling my hair out from the constant changing of clothes, making me want to just pass out.
The reason why it took so long because the options for clothing were not the best was what my mom put it. She also said that now she realized how bad my clothing sense is and that she didn't remember buying me all these clothes.
She doesn't remember because i was the one who bought it. But she doesn't need to know that.
When my mom first opened my closet, what overcame her was a look of shock and blankness towards my clothes. I personally don't think there were any problems, i mean, the clothes i bought were a few simple shit and black t-shirts, a few jackets and sweaters and some shorts and jogging pants. I was fine with it.
But it was clear my mom was not. She took one look at my closet before closing it. She looked at me and gave me a sigh, not knowing how to react. I just looked at my feet, not daring to look at my mom.
"Alright honey, I'm not surprised your closet looks like this. You take after your father a lot more than me. How did this happen…"
My mom wore a blank expression on her face as she face palmed, while ruminating what to do with me. I didn't know what to do so i just stood there.
"Okay, let's do this. Come with me."
Mom picked herself up and went to her room, and so i followed right behind her. As we walked there, she made some comments about what we were going to do.
"All hope is not lost Malik, there is still a chance for you to wear something decent, because similar to you, i was also the one who picked outfits for your father, and it just so happens that his clothes was still in my room."
My mom wore a smile as she told me this. She even chuckled for a bit as if remembering a particular memory, though i cannot see her face. It was that same smile again. Maybe asking my mom for this wasn't a good idea.
We got to her room and made our way to her closet. She opened and what i saw was almost blinding. There were various colorful clothes lined up on the rackets with all sorts of shoes just below it, i didn't know women had these much clothes.
I scrutinized for a bit and in the corner of my eye, i see a box. It was colored white with its lid being black. Mom took and gave it a puff of air to remove the accumulating dust.
She took it out of the closet it and put it on the ground. But she didn't imediately open it. Mom looked at it for a while with mixed expressions, yet she still had that smile on her face. It went on for a bit until she said.
"Hm yeah, this is it alright."
She opened it and i saw some clothes on it, it was filled with various colors ranging from green, black and white. There was also a red shirt tucked underneath the pile of it, yet i could barely make out its features.
"This here was what your Father once wore to work or whenever we went on a night out. He couldn't be bothered to think about what he was about to wear, so he just picked out clothes that he could grab."
Smart man, i thought.
"But i had enough of it as he can't wear a damned t-shirt to a company meeting, so i bought him some suits he could wear but he refused at first saying ' It's a bother' but i did convince him in the end of course and we conceded with at least a long sleeve shirt."
"I didn't ant him to forget where all his long sleeves were, so i compiled it in one box, right here."
Mom pulled out a blank long sleeve, and judging by my prior estimates, it fit me perfectly.
"Now go try this on."
I grabbed it and wore it above my t-shirt. Buttoning it up one by one, i could feel the long sleeve gradually tightening yet not tight enough to choke the life out of me. But just fit enough to showcase my body. My mom also told me to tuck it in under my pants, and so i did.
After that was done, my mom pulled me into her mirror, seeing what became of my appearance. Who i saw in the mirror was, of course, me, semi-long dark hair with chocolate brown eyes, and a cut jawline. I saw myself in the long sleeve i was wearing and it was showing the muscle i put on over the summer, accentuating my shoulder and my chest. A V taper was what the fitness community called it.
"See, it looks good on you honey, though I'm a little surprised that it already fits you by that much, but it's fine. You look handsome, as always."
I blush a little towards my mom's comment as i could see myself in the mirror turning a little red. To further stop the embarrassment, i turned away from it and removed the long sleeve i was wearing.
"I think this is fine now, mom."
"What are you talking about? Were not done. We still have to try out the others to see what fits better."
"But isn't this already fine?"
I try to argue my way out of this since i i believe this was already a good outfit. But my mom stood her ground and just looked at me. Her eyes were saying something like she won't take no for an answer, and of course, as the loving son as i am, i obliged.
I'm starting to think this was how my father was convinced of wearing this.
And so after a few hours of trying out clothes, going back and forth to change and the various comments made by mom. We were finally done. It wouldn't go as long as that, if we'ren't for the fact that mom pulled out various boxes from her closet as if someone was showing their Pokemon collection.
By the end of it, i was dead tired. I couldn't think straight as what filled my mind was the various color combinations i tried out. In the middle of trying everything ouut, she also pulled out some pants, and it made it even more of a bother to change.
After i left her room with the clothes, i was going to wear, namely the black long sleeve and the black pants mom picked out, i was done. In the end we just went back to the black long sleeve, sigh.
I hung my clothes on some hangers and put it in my closet, and i then crashed down into my bed, no longer wanting to move as i didn't resist the sweet tempting darkness as i fell into dreamland.
…
I woke up in the morning before the sun even rose, so like 4 am. Reason i do that is because i need to workout early due to my schedule and though it was indeed rough at first. Waking up before the crack of dawn intimated the hell out of me as i thought of it before as being too much.
Now i don't think so, even though i don't exactly wake up at 4, but around that hour i do wake up, because even if i have been doing this routine for months now, i still have a rough time waking up this early to workout, but whatever i make due.
After doing my morning routine, it was currently 6 am, just after i worked out, showered and prepared my breakfast. The party doesn't start until 3 pm today, so there was still time for me to do whatever.
Mom still hasn't woken up as she usually wakes up at about 7 or 8. 7 if she has a lot of things to do and 8 if not. So since there was still a lot of time to do things, i might as well become productive with it. And so i map out my day today in my calendar.
After eating breakfast, i go to my room and turned on my laptop. The screen turned bright as it showed me the current time: 6:30 am. Entering my password, what came to my sight was the wallpaper i got off from a wallpaper site. It was indeed a good wallpaper.
I opened my browser and searched up the calendar app i used. Hmmm let's see. It's now 6:30, and the party is until 3:00 pm so i have a lot of time. Alright, let's start.
From 7:00 to 8:30 am, lets do some writing on my novel, i still have a lot of words to write sigh. 8:30 to 9:00 am is reading. 9:00 to 10:30 am is even more writing. and 10:30 to 11:00 reading again, then from 11:00 to 12:00 pm, let's do some school stuff, i forgot that i had to do that one assignment in Earth Science.
12:00 to 1:00 pm is lunch, and 1:00 to 2:00 pm is the time for me to prepare myself for the event. Preparing my clothes as well as showering again and other stuff to make me look good. So that leaves 2:00 to 3:00 as vacant time. Welp, i might as well watch Supernatural.
…
Looking at the time, i notice that it was already 1:45 pm, shit so it's already that time, huh? I close off all my tabs and shut off my laptop. Works done for the day, i guess.
I stand up and make my way to the bathroom to take a bath; it lasted for about half an hour and then i came out of it dripping in water from head to toe. Drying myself off, i look at the clothes i was gonna wear today, and it made me feel pain. Pain for the fact that even if it looks good on me and its quite comfortable, but the moment i think of the pain i had to go through to achieve this, i felt shivers down my spine.
Nonetheless what's done is done, now lets wear this shit since i don't want to make mom sad that i backed off the last second.
After wearing it, i look into the mirror and it actually fits me better than i thought. Semi wet black hair dropping into my face with my eyes reflecting off the mirror. Black long sleeves which were tucked into black pants my mom gave me with a dark belt.
I look hard unto myself and i gotta say, Mom does indeed have good fashion choices, yet the moment i thought of it i remember who's clothes was this. I felt a hint of sadness wash over me and various thoughts arose in my mind.
So this was what dad once wore, and it actually fits me perfectly, not even loose at all. We might have been the same height indeed. I shake the thought off as i was almost late to the party, though i doubt the school will start in time. Still, i might as well be early.
I opened my door and went outside. The corridors of the house were quiet and serene until my mom shouted.
"Malik! Let's go already. You're gonna be late."
"Sure mom."
I obliged as i made my way downstairs, and i saw my mom waiting for me by the door. Once she saw me, her expression was filled with happiness, but her eyes were conveying something else. Maybe nostalgia or sadness was my guess.
"See, you look handsome in that outfit."
"Yeah, thanks mom for picking this out."
There was a brief silence that pervaded the room, but it was mostly me not saying while Mom just stared at me for a while. It lasted until she finally broke the silence and said.
"Yes, it does indeed look good on you."
Saying it with a smile on her face as she turned around and opened the door. She had her back faced to me but her back seemed to be conveying a sort of loneliness, yet as i was finishing up that thought, mom said.
"Kayden would be overjoyed if he saw you."
Kayden Tirion. My father. The father i never met and who i only saw in picture framed in our walls. I never noticed them or maybe even outright ignored them as my father's existence felt close yet alien to me. This feels strange.
But after mom mentioned father, he never mentioned him again on the car ride on the way to school. We still talked in the car don't get me wrong, it at least lightened the atmosphere between us, but mom didn't talk about him or even mention him once. Anyway, i let that thought slide as i notice that we were already close to school, i can even see the neon light being prepared with some being turned on as we speak.
"Alright honey, have fun. Ill pick you up later at 11. And oh, say hi to Lorelai for me."
She said one last time, yet when she spoke of Lorelai, she had a smirk on her face as she said, though i don't know what it meant. She then drove off, leaving me by the gate of the school. Well, let's get on with this.
I turned around and make my way through the crowded hallways. There were students everywhere with their fashionable attire on. Some wore expensive branded clothes, while some seemed to have not cared and just wore whatever they had in their closet. I was like that once.
Eventually i found myself in our class's room and saw that i was the first one here. There was no one in class right now and i wasn't even surprised by it. It would be even more unusual if they showed up on time. By my guess they would arrive by 4 and even then they won't be late for the program.
The school operated by what time they thought was perfect. And it was perfect when everybody else was here, or at least a majority of the students were already here. I knew that information yet i still came here early on purpose, mostly because Ace and Neil would also come early, and two, i liked the peaceful and quiet atmosphere our class has when I'm the only one in.
As i sat down in my chair, with my feet up at another table, i savored this moment of silence, a moment of peace in a cold room, with the Aircon going full blast, emitting cold air in the room. This is the life.
Yet that moment of peace was broken when the door opened, i had my eyes closed so i just thought of Neil or Ace arriving. Not thinking about it too much, i said hi to either Ace or Neil.
"Sup dude, the room's quiet for once, and it's cold too, lets enjoy this for a bit noh?"
"Sure Malik."
Startled, i realized that the voice wasn't even male to begin with, so it wasn't Ace or Neil that arrived, yet that voice felt familiar to me. My heart already skipped a beat before i could even see who it was. I opened my eyes and saw Lorelai.
And by then I glued my eyes to her and her alone.
She wore a simple red dress for the occasion, yet that red dress was enough to make my heart race faster than an F1 car. And trust me dude, it was fast. She didn't wear any makeup, yet it was enough to make me forget everything else in the room.
She was beautiful. She was gorgeous. Yet those words weren't enough to convey the words i wanted to say. The words necessary to compliment her appearance, in my opinion haven't even existed yet, but here she was, creating the term before anyone else. But due to that, i didn't know what to say at the moment so i just said whatever came first in my mind.
"I want you."