World in my Eyes

There is one type of food that I miss most in this life. It is not some type of complicated dish, that has elaborate flavors, that takes hours to cook. No, it was one of the most common types of foods seen in the society that I had previously lived in. It is cheese. Yes, cheese.

Cheese was one of those foods that could be added to nearly any food that you ate. The bite that some cheeses had made some of the more basic dishes, more enjoyable. While the pungent flavor that other cheeses had, worked well with other, contrasting, flavors. Even those fake cheeses, that I did not want to know what was in them, had their own place in my meager culinary repertoire.

But no, this world, or at least the society that I am part of, does not consume dairy products, other than after being a weaning baby. Now, just plain milk, I was never truly a fan of. I will not say that I never voluntarily drank it, but, there were few moments, in my previous life, where it was my beverage of choice. It was the things that milk changed into, that were things that I, more commonly, ingested.

I will not say that the cuisine in this life is bad, but it is very repetitive. There are some spices that are used, that, at least to the best of my knowledge, are not something that I had ever tasted prior coming to this life. But, there is not the diversity of food, that was uncommon, around me.

I miss having a basic cheeseburger with french fries, of course. The generic fast food ones were, at times, simply delicious. And that is ignoring some of the more gourmet ones, that I rarely ate. Having an authentic taco, with pickled vegetables, spicy meat, sour cream, and a soft and warm tortilla, still enrapture my attention at times, to this day.

More than any technology I had present, previously, I wish I knew how to produce the ingredients and recipes, that were commonplace to me. Condiments, that I took for granted, would be a welcomed addition to my lackluster diet. I want to taste a generic yellow mustard again, something I purposely avoided, as it was boring. Alas, I live in this world now, and do not have access to the items or the ingredients that I once took for granted.

I will admit, that I have not experienced the wider world that is around me. There could be numerous things around, that would excite me. There could be cuisines, that I could enjoy, that I do not know about. I am a commoner, and the possibilities afforded to me, are not that much.

I will never travel and meet a king, and then be invited to eat at his table. I will, probably, never travel to some gigantic metropolitan area, where numerous different people ply their trade, waiting for inquisitive travelers to try their dishes. Chances like that, will not come to me.

My life is content. I can not say that I am truly happy, with my life, but it is calming, relaxing. Appreciation with this life, is something that I will not forsake, even though I am no longer able to truly feel. Yet, I am welcome to the simple baggage that I am burdened with.

Enough with this mourning for the things that I am unable to change. Winter is starting to break, and I now have too many things to do, with not enough time to do them all. And that is just my life for the regular basis. I still have to perform the duties that Girts has requested of me.

This winter, I accompanied him, during some more of his negotiations with random traders. I am slowly becoming accustomed to what he wishes of me. I will not say that I share his sentiment that he has for the betterment of his people, which I am part of. However, I am starting to see some of the benefits that can be reaped, from helping others.

I will not, and can not, say that I approach Girts goals of helping people with the selflessness that he does. I am a selfish person, and unless I see how something can benefit me personally, I do not see the worth of doing as he does. There is some admittance on my part, that I am willfully ignorant of what some the benefits, of the prosperity of this small town, that can be sown.

Not all the dealings that Girts have had, have borne fruit. Most of them, have come to some type of concluded deal. Some of them, though, have fell flat on their face as soon as the conversation has started.

Of the ones, that Girts realized that were not going to be completed, he has always heard out their pitches. While I would have ended the meetings as soon as I realized it was not going to happen, Girts continued along with them, even going as far as going for a smaller deal, than he was originally planning. A losing deal is not worth the cost that is incurred.

Maybe this is lost on me due to my dulled emotions. To me, a loss is a loss, no matter what. And a gain, is almost always a gain, if that is what you are challenging for. Even a deal where neither side truly gets what they want, can still be considered a win. At least you can get something from it.

It is also true, that I am not a very personable person. Getting conversations over and done with, are almost always on the forefront of my mind. Luckily, I get to remain silent for the most part of the dealings with traders. And after interacting with Girts for a while, I have come to learn when he no longer wishes to conclude a deal. It saves me from having to pay as much attention to his, and the random traders, drivel.