DetriMental

Intro: all my life I felt like an outcast because of the way I look, the ideology I possessed, and the things I been through. I feel like everyday is a fight in a never ending war, whether it’s to survive or get the will to want to survive. For everyone fighting, understand you will never be fighting alone. I left a lot out for personal reasons that I might add but my goal was to shed some light on mental health, I also always wanted to be an anime character cause growing up and watching them go through so much and still have the strength to fight inspired and motivated me to do the same but a lot of them didn’t show the emotional trauma that comes from all of those fights that you win or lose and so this is about how I’ve been fighting mental health. I also want to point out that I didn’t overcome these battles alone, I had help but I didn’t mention it a lot because I felt alone, and to put it into perspective of those who are actually alone, and sorry I’m bad at story telling, I’m still figuring everything out just like avante is.

BlackRikudo · 现实

分數不夠

14 Chs

Monologue

You ever constantly worry about anything and everything for no reason? Chances are you might be hyper vigilant. Does your heart start to feel heavy and seeming as if your breath is being taken away? Chances are you might have anxiety. Is it hard for you to sleep or stay sleep? Do you sleep too much? Chances are you might have insomnia. Do you get flashbacks of the experiences that changed your life in such drastic ways? Have you ever looked in the mirror and only see all the worst parts about you instead of the best? Do you feel disinterested in the things you love? Chances are you might have ptsd. Do you ever feel like you're worthless and everything you do is wrong and that you deserve to suffer? Chances are you might have depression. Have you ever said some really hurtful things and your entire demeanor changed in an instant towards your loved ones without even realizing it? Chances are you might have bipolar disorder. Do you constantly put others before yourself and place your worth within them? Chances are you probably have abandonment issues.

If you have all of those then I'm pretty sure we can relate, and even more so if you don't fit society's standards because you aren't rich, attractive, popular, and the things you like is deemed weird by a vast majority. Being a pacifist just made it harder to fit in a city that's glorified violently. Standing your ground could get you killed, and if you don't they just think you're a pushover so they'll keep bothering you, it's either do or die and I avoided doing either because of my sense of humor, if you can make everyone laugh then you don't really gotta worry about someone trying to kick your ass. Just one of the ways my sense of humor has saved my life, it never stopped the worst from happening but it did make me extremely funny because I turn everything into a joke, just like my life... (see) and somehow that'd keep me going even if I felt I was at my lowest, laughter is the best medicine but sometimes medicine doesn't work, so then what do you do? How you cope with things plays a big part, this is when two negatives don't make it positive. Addiction doesn't just come from an addictive mindset, trying to escape your pain can also cause addiction. But in reality you're only prolonging the inevitable, because all of those negative emotions come from your greatest asset. The recovery to mental health isn't linear, but the growth of your character is. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and that's fine cause you aren't perfect, and you don't have to be and that's what makes you perfect. Remember, your mind is your greatest ally.

INDEX Next