45. Chapter 45

Castle doesn't go back to bed; he opts to write for an hour - more Felix mystery stuff. He gets to the end of a pretty good scene, then sends it off to his editor to look over. It's going in a different direction, but he likes it better; it's more comfortable to write.

He checks the time and closes the laptop, rests it on the counter again. Castle heads for Ellery's room, intent on waking her. Even though it *is* vacation, and that's kind of a rule they've always had. Or well, a rule he and Alexis had. Kate doesn't seem to fall in line with his rules that often.

The room is dim but even in the cave of Ella's bottom bunk, he can spot the little girl asleep at the foot of the bed, covers thrown off and hair wild around her face, curled around Totoro.

Ellery's been really careful with Toto these last few days, not letting him stray far from her room, not taking him too many places. She seems to have learned her lesson about losing him.

Castle gets on his knees next to the bed, plants his fists in the mattress, then bounces it. No response. He gets closer to the foot where Ellery is, then bounces the mattress again.

Her little eyes startle open, so very blue in the darkness, her mouth curling into a smile. He bounces the mattress again and she giggles.

"Time to get up, Ellery. You and me this morning."

"You and me?" she repeats and lifts her head.

"Yup, so get on up. Time for breakfast. I'm starving. I waited as long as I could."

"Pancakes?" she asks hopefully, uncurling from around Totoro and crawling towards her daddy. "Please?"

"All right, all right, pancakes. But only because you're my littlest girl," he says, leaning in to kiss her nose, scoop her up.

Castle ducks out from under the top bunk and swings Ellery up onto his shoulder, jiggling her. "Come on, cricket. I like these words you've got this morning."

She's still giggling, clutching his shoulder as he bounces her into the bathroom. He lets her slide down his side and get to her feet on the floor. Her bare toes curl, little tiny pink things against the cold tile.

"Gotta pee, Daddy," she says and lifts her shirt so she can push down her pajama pants.

"Yeah, do that and wash hands, then come find me in the kitchen. Can you reach the sink?"

She shakes her head no. Castle glances around but they didn't bring a stool.

"Yell for me when you're done. I'll lift you up." Castle sees her nod, so serious now, and he leans in and kisses her forehead, brushing her hair back. "Good girl."

He heads for the kitchen to make her pancakes.

Ellery climbs into his lap to eat, her face sticky with syrup and more often than not abandoning her fork to use her fingers. He's made her a Totoro-shaped pancake (badly), a Mickey Mouse, a smiley face, and a snowman, and she shares pieces with him as well. So now Castle's chin and neck are sticky too.

But he wouldn't trade it for the world.

When she's finished eating, he sets her on her feet and races her back to the bathroom to help her wash her hands, her face. Then she uses the washcloth to scrub at his face, his hands, giggling like crazy. Castle rubs her hand against his cheek so she can check and make sure all the sticky syrup is gone, and Ellery gives a nod to confirm his cleanliness. She giggles at him and links her arms around his neck; he gives her a piggy back ride into her room to get her changed into a swimsuit.

Same one from yesterday - they forgot to get her new ones after the drama surrounding Dash's stitches. But Ellery doesn't seem to mind putting the same, still-damp suit back on. Dash would've had a fit.

"Sunscreen, baby girl," he murmurs, plucking the spray can off the counter where Kate left it. She's followed him back out into the kitchen. He glances down and sees her mutinous look, remembers what Kate told him about that. "Oh, you're not a baby, are you? You're a big girl. Forgive me."

Ellery grudingly comes closer, shutting her eyes and holding out her arms to the side. Castle sprays her down with the aerosol sunblock, making sure he layers it pretty thick on her shoulders and neck. When he's done, she squints open one eye to make sure the ordeal is over.

"Okay, little cricket. Time for your face." Castle puts the spray on the counter and hunts for the face cream; Kate bought a special tube of it for babies. Well, no, not babies, right? Ellery would be indignant.

"Here, Daddy," Ella says, tugging on his hand. He follows her into their bedroom; she finds the bottle of sunblock in with Kate's make-up on the floor of the bathroom. Why did Kate leave her make-up in the floor? That's just asking for Ella to get into it. She loves Kate's stuff - all of it - shoes, make-up, clothes.

"Smart girl. All right. Let me sunscreen you up."

Ellery offers him her puffed up cheeks with an upward tilt of her face; he uses a small amount on his fingers to carefully smear it across her forehead, nose, and cheeks. He leaves a white dab on her chin, then picks her up to see in the mirror.

Her dark hair is mussed from the sunscreen too; Ella lifts her chin and rubs it in herself, then claps. "All good, Daddy."

"Thank you, bab-" He stops, lifts an eyebrow. "Cricket. I guess if Allie is pumpkin, then cricket is gonna stick. Sorry about that. But Mommy started it."

"Mommy started it," she repeats, giving him a little shrug of her shoulders and sly little grin. So very expressive. A face for everything. Castle lets her get down, then herds her towards the door.

She starts galloping forward, the pink ruffles on her black swimsuit bouncing, her hair shiny, and she stops at the door, waiting on him, looking excited to be going.

Castle's already in his trunks and a tshirt, so he grabs a couple towels and glances at the beach bag that Kate always takes down with her. He can't imagine needing all that much stuff for just a few hours on the beach, so he leaves it in the floor, sticks his key card in the velcro side pocket, and picks up his little girl.

He opens the door and steps outside. "All right, little cricket, let's go to the beach."

"Beach," she murmurs, twisting around to watch the birds in the sky as Castle carries her down the open-air hallway. "Daddy, look."

"I see. Birds. They're seagulls. They look hungry."

"No pancakes," she says.

"Yeah, no pancakes for the birds. Just for humans."

"Feed 'em?"

Castle laughs and lets her down so she can press the call button for the elevator. She holds his hand like a good girl and peers around his leg to look out at the birds. Her eyes are so blue against the dark frame of her hair.

"No, we shouldn't feed them. They get plenty of food."

"Please?"

"Sorry, cricket. We'd have too many birds to handle and then we couldn't play on the beach. They'd follow us around everywhere. Like the pigeons at your swings, in the park."

"Oooh," she murmurs, looking up at him with those wide blue eyes. "No good, Daddy."

"That's right. Really no good." The elevator dings and slides open; Castle puts his hand to the back of her head and guides her inside. She slaps the button for the lobby without any prompting; she must be watching, paying attention.

"Smart girl," he says. "That's an L for Lobby."

"L."

"Yup. You have an L in your name too. Do you know what letter it starts with?"

She tilts her head and looks up at him like he's so very silly. "E, Daddy. E - L - L - E - R - Y. Mine name."

"Oh. Yeah, that's right. You can spell your name." When did *that* happen? Preschool probably, but still. Are they teaching that in the two year old class? Castle doesn't think so. And he's not the one pushing the ABCs and counting. That's Kate.

"Where'd you learn that?" he asks, not really expecting an answer. He'll ask Kate if she's been working on that.

Ella hops from foot to foot as the elevator descends, looking like she hasn't heard him. But when the doors open on the lobby, she jumps over the threshold and grins back at him. "Dashy tell me."

"Dashiell taught you how to spell your name?"

She looks confused, maybe by the concept of spelling. "Dash say the letters."

"Oh. And you remember them?"

"I say the letters."

"You're saying a whole lot right now," he laughs, then leans over to pick her up for a hug. "I love hearing my little cricket." She claps both hands on his chin, pushing him away, and wriggles to get free, so he lets her back down.

She grabs his hand though and tugs him towards the automatic doors, heading for the boardwalk. Fans are blowing through the lobby to dry the wet floor as residents and guests have tracked in water from the pool or ocean, but Ella seems unperturbed by them. Dashiell would've hesitated and then shied away from their loud noise.

Castle lets her lead them through the doors and out to the sidewalk, the palm trees rustling overhead in a breeze that doesn't reach them. She lets go of his hand to walk ahead of him, watching the kids playing in the pool or walking towards the beach, her blue eyes taking in every movement, every action, every word with absorption. She watches people, observing, just like him, but she goes about it like Kate - calculating, silent, intense.

She'll use the information later; he's seen her do it before. Pull up some phrase or bit of language, or use some body language that he knows she didn't get from them.

When Ellery reaches the start of the boardwalk, she waits for him, holding out a hand. He takes hers and heads down, but after a few steps, Ellery is on her toes, turning around to be picked up.

"Hot, Daddy."

Castle lifts her up, tucking her against his side. He forgot to grab her sandals as they left, but he figured they weren't going far. He probably should have gone back for them.

"Sorry, Ella. Your shoes are upstairs. I'll carry you across the sand too."

She nods, her eyes on the horizon, scanning the beach and waves. A little hand curls around his neck, fingers playing with his hair. Castle turns his head and blows a raspberry against her cheek, making her clutch him and giggle.

"No, no, Daddy."

"Stop being so cute. Then maybe I won't want to gobble you up," he says, heading down the stairs at the end of the boardwalk.

"Don't, don't-" she gasps and pushes away from him, leaning back. "No gobble me up."

"Fee, fi, fo-"

She shrieks and wriggles to get down, so he bends over and lets her go. The instant her feet hit the sand, she jumps back up into his arms. Castle catches her, laughing.

"Gobble, gobble me, Daddy. Too hot."

He pretends to nom-nom on her little fingers, dropping the towels in the sand at his feet, as close to the water as he can get them without soaking their stuff. Ellery gets away from him, tries to help spread out her towel on the sand. Castle stands up and shakes his out as well, giving her enough room to play.

"Waves now, Daddy." Ella says jumping up and down on the towel, sand spraying up. "Waves."

"Okay, cricket. Good idea." If they get good and wet, the sand won't be so hot on her feet. "Let me carry you to the edge where it's cooler."

Ellery squirms in his arms until he can let her down again, then she darts forward into a wave, letting the water splash high over her before Castle can catch her. She turns back to him, spluttering and laughing, but gets knocked down immediately by another wave. He snags her by the arm before she can be dragged out, brings her up out of the water.

He expects the worst; he's prepared for tears. But Ellery squeals and pushes the hair out of her face, her blue eyes thrilled. "Knock me down!"

"Yeah, it did. It knocked you right off your feet."

"Again!"

Castle brushes the hair out of her face and sets her back on her feet, hovering closer this time as she wades towards the waves. He forgot to check the flag at the end of the boardwalk, so he risks a glance backwards and spots the yellow material snapping in the breeze.

A little bit rougher waves then, coming faster together. He watches Ella jump and bob in another meager swell, then reaches out and grabs her by the armpit as a massive one starts sucking them both off their feet.

Ellery shrieks as the water pulls them, they both rise with the crest and get pushed a little further back. Castle checks their position and misses the next one, a wave that swamps them both and pushes Ellery into his chest. She climbs him like a monkey, getting her head above water, and Castle manages to keep his footing with effort.

When the wave passes them, he unwraps her arms from around his neck and looks at her. Ellery is still grinning, dripping wet, pushing straggly hair from her face with a hand.

"That big wave gots me!"

"It sure did." He's astonished she's not more scared, astonished by the amount of words pouring out of her mouth.

Then again, Kate isn't afraid of anything. Not rats (ug), not dead bodies dropping out of closets (or refrigerators), not bullets, not anything. So her daughter is going to be pretty fearless too. And maybe it's the thrill of danger that's loosened her tongue.

Ellery seems to get a particular kick out of the tug of the water against their bodies, the way she nearly loses her grip on him. They jump and bob in the waves for a long time, Castle losing track of how long they've been out here, having to occasionally slog back so that they're positioned closer to their towels. He lets her enjoy the game as long as he can stand it, but after she's wrenched out of his grip for the fourth time (she was pushing further and further away from him), he decides they are done with wave-riding for now.

He drags her back to their towels against her will, his heart still pounding after that last encounter with the ocean, still seeing her head drop below the waves, still feeling the clutch of his hand around her swimsuit at the last second.

They have floaties; he should've brought them down and made her wear them. She's a pretty good swimmer for a little kid, and he's grown used to the relative calm of the Hamptons beach. It's made him drop his guard.

"I jump all them waves," she says with relish. Ellery drops to the towel and gets on her hands and knees, soaking wet and already covered in sand, flinging her legs up and down like a kicking donkey, clearly still excited. "You fun, Daddy." When he sinks down beside her, she crawls into his lap and kisses his cheek. How can she tell he needs that? He hugs her back, smacks her cheek with a kiss.

"Want to dry off and head back? I think it's close to lunch time."

Ellery stands up on his leg, holding on to his shoulders to keep her balance, glancing around the beach as if making a decision. Finally she nods to him and wraps her arms around his neck.

"Carry you," she murmurs, laying her head against his shoulder.

He laughs because he knows she can say it correctly, but he babies her, standing up and shaking out her towel, wrapping it around her still-wet little body. She snuggles in and he can feel her arms trembling around his neck; she's got to be so worn out. He wonders what time it is; he probably should have brought his phone too.

Castle snatches up his own towel, swipes it down his legs to keep sand from sticking to him too badly, then shoves his feet into his flipflops. He heads for the boardwalk.

Carrying Ellery back to the condominium, Castle lets his mind wander to the next scene in his manuscript, not paying attention, rubbing at Ella's hair absent-mindedly, pushing it away from her face.

"Mommy," Ella says and twists around.

He glances up, sees Kate and Dash heading for them, Kate's face a carefully blank mask. But the moment she gets to them, she holds out her arms for Ellery and takes the girl into a hug, closing her eyes. Something must have happened.

"Hey," he says, lifting an eyebrow, glancing down at Dashiell. Did the kid give her fits?

Dash sighs and puts his hands on his hips. "It's two o'clock, Daddy. You're late."

Oh. Oops. Oh, damn. Actually, that's worse than it might be otherwise. With Kate's thing six months ago. . .yeah. He should've thought of that. "And I didn't have my phone on me," he guesses, wincing at Kate's look. She tried to call him then, and his phone rang in the condo.

"Yeah," she says, shrugging. Like it's okay. But clearly it's not. She looks like she might break if they stand around here any longer.

"Okay, all right. Let's get lunch." He nudges Kate towards the automatic doors, takes Dashiell by the hand to keep him from darting off. He leans in towards his wife, getting as close as he possibly can while she walks ahead of him, and kisses that spot under her ear. "I lost track of time. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

She turns a little, their cheeks touching for an instant, the side of her head tapping his, and then she holds out her left hand to him.

He takes it, squeezing.

Ellery wraps her arms around Kate's neck. "Daddy and me jumped big waves," she murmurs. "I cricket all day."

Kate lets out a shaky breath and turns her eyes to him as she speaks. "I'm so glad, Ella. I love you."