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33. Chapter 33

"No, baby, it's Daddy's turn to pick the music," Kate says, yawning as she does. She shakes her head at the end of it, catches Castle laughing at her and wrinkles her nose at him. "You wore me out, Castle."

"That is *exactly* what I like to hear," he grins, fiddling with her ipod from the passenger seat. He still hasn't found his own, the idiot. He'll get hers all gross and sweaty if he uses it to run all week, and then the earbuds will stop working, like they did the last time this happened.

"Okay, kids, I'll take requests."

"Yes!" Dashiell exclaims, and Kate can feel him kicking the back of her seat as she drives out of the parking lot. "Daddy, I want to rock out."

Kate bursts into laughter, nibbling on her lip to keep it back, hoping she didn't damage his psyche. "Let's rock out, Daddy."

Castle laughs as well and Kate reaches behind her seat and manages to snag Dash's ankle, squeezing and shaking it a little.

"Ahhh! Monster's got me! Ellie, help!"

Ellie? Kate glances over at Castle but he shrugs. He hasn't heard that nickname before either. Maybe it has something to do with them calling Alexis Allie?

Dash is leaning across the seat to clutch at Ellery's arm. Kate sees Castle turn around to check, but he doesn't interfere so Ella must not be too annoyed.

Kate has to let go of Dash to turn onto the main road, and the kid makes some melodramatic noises of relief behind her. He's still clinging to Ellery, apparently. The girl is giggling and shoving on his forehead, at least, from Kate's vantage point in the rear view mirror. She could be kicking him too. Hard to tell.

"Okay, okay, here we go. Led Zeppelin, Dash. Best Zeppelin song ever. You can totally rock out to this."

The music starts out with a sudden hiss like a record and a driving guitar, then the falsetto cuts in. Kate twitches her eyebrow at Castle. "'Immigrant Song' is their best ever?"

"Yes, woman. Don't argue with me."

She gives him a look, but can't sustain it, has to turn her eyes back to the road. Behind her, Dashiell is scream-singing the "Ah-ahh" and she can feel his feet kicking her seat rhythmically.

"What?" Castle says. "You'd pick 'Stairway to Heaven,' wouldn't you?" he sighs.

"No. Actually. My favorite of theirs is 'Tangerine.'"

"Huh," he mutters; her lips twitch and she lets the smile go, gives it to him with a quick look. "Yeah, seriously, Kate, you pull out this stuff like it's obvious, but why do I not know this?"

"When have we ever talked about Led Zeppelin?"

"Exactly."

"What does it matter, Castle?"

"It's Led Zeppelin. Oh my word, Kate Beckett, it's Led Zeppelin."

O-kay. Sure. "I meant, why does it matter that we've never talked about this before? So what. It's not make or break."

"I don't know. If you had said you didn't even like Led Zeppelin, that might've been."

She laughs and settles back against the seat now that the kid has stopped kicking it. "Okay, we have an hour or so before we get to the mall. So tell me. . .what bands or artist do you absolutely love? Like, everything Castle. All of it. They put out an album and you'll buy it, no question."

"And like every song?"

"Yes. Every song. You got any music artists like that? Where everything is just. . .perfect? Where each song is right."

"Yeah. Led Zeppelin."

She laughs and shakes her head at him. "Who else? Anyone else? Because I'd say Arcade Fire. Like, five years ago, eight years ago, I didn't even know who they were. And now? I can't imagine not having Arcade Fire. Every song, Castle. How do they do that? Every song gets me."

"I'd second Arcade Fire. Yeah." He scratches at his jaw and rubs his chin; he didn't shave this morning so it probably itches. Kate knows he did it because she likes it, even though she's never come right out and said it before. Still, she knows that he knows. It's the kind of thing that their relationship is built up with, these moments of knowing without needing the words.

Still. Castle is a writer. Maybe he wants words every now and then, right?

"Okay, so my third would be Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Eh, actually they're a 95% love everything."

"Ah, okay. See, I only like that one album - Howl? The one where Jago was in rehab and didn't have any input." She slides a look over at him; he's narrowed his eyes at her.

"You are so mean. But yeah. Okay. Howl has a stripped-down. . .country feel to it. I can see why you like that one. That one has the five percent I'm not thrilled with."

"So BRMC, Arcade Fire, Led Zeppelin. Who else, Castle?"

"Despite your near-philistine dislike of Black Rebel, I'm gonna just put it out there: it is so hot that you know Nick Jago's name."

She laughs at that, takes a quick look in the rear view mirror to check on Dashiell, who is being entirely too quiet for a car trip. It looks like he's head-banging to the next song (Ben Folds, which is so not a head-banging artist); Kate turns a little and sees Ellery giggling at him, egging him on, reaching out over her car seat to let his bouncing head hit her hand over and over.

Oh jeez. Her kids are weird. They're Castle's kids. What did she expect?

"Your kids are nuts. Okay. Other bands, Castle."

He twists in his seat and chuckles at the kids, then turns back around. "I think I could say 90% of Ash."

"Ash?" Kate can't remember them at all. She usually keeps details in her head, like Castle mentioned with Jago. But Ash isn't there. "Do I know them?"

"Uh...yeah, you do. 'Vampire Love' from Meltdown for sure."

She hums to herself, trying to remember, but it's difficult to dredge up a song when music is already on. "Find it. Play it."

"Yeah, ok. Hold on." Castle fiddles with her iPod, then sighs. "You don't have it on here. I have it on mine. Trust me, you've heard it before."

"I don't think I have. It doesn't sound familiar-"

"Kate, you totally have. I know you have."

"Castle," she growls. "I haven't heard it. It's not at all familiar."

"Wait." He pauses the song and clears his throat, hums to himself for a second. "No. I can't possibly sing it. Arg. But you know it. I know you do."

"Castle, I said I don't know it. I remember this stuff. Unlike you. I play a song and the very next week, you're all bouncy and running in to tell me about this great song you just heard. And it's the *same* song I just played for you."

"I can't help it. A lot of your bands all sound the same to me. Maybe if you didn't listen to like 50 percent crap-"

"Don't you dare," she hisses at him, the whip of anger rising in her chest. "Don't you dare. It's my opinion. It's subjective, you big lug. I can have an opinion-"

"All I'm saying is, your opinion's wrong-"

"Seriously, shut the hell up."

His nostrils flare, but she clenches her jaw and narrows her eyes at the road, pushing out the urge to smack him. Hard. And damn it, she said 'hell' in front of her kids. She nearly called him an asshole, so maybe she's forgiven for-

"Mommy, you said the bad place." Dashiell's feet bounce against her seat.

Shit. "Castle," she growls.

"Mommy likes her music," Castle tosses back. Not at all helpful here.

They've had this same argument about books before, only it doesn't get quite this far. She usually capitulates to his theories about literature because he's a freaking published author, and somehow it feels like he's right. He's not right. It *is* subjective. She can love Mary Stewart's Gothic romance novels if she wants to, *and* she can hate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. She can.

She hates it. All of it. It's not funny. No matter how many times she tries to read it, to appease him, she can't get past the first few chapters. She *hates* that novel. "It's not even funny," she mutters under her breath.

"Mommy, are you a cloud today?"

Ug. Called out by her four year old. "No, baby."

"Ellery's the baby. I'm almost five."

Ellie shrieks and Kate startles, nearly jerking the SUV off the road, heart pounding, and glances in the rear view mirror. But Castle is already twisted around in the passenger seat, controlling Ellery (seriously? controlling *Ellery*? That never happens.) and Dashiell is laughing hysterically.

"Dash. It's not funny," Castle growls at him.

"It is *so* funny."

Ellie growls too, a little girl growl that tugs at Kate's lips, makes her want to laugh like Dash. And that would be bad. Especially since it makes Dashiell growl back, and Castle is trying to calmly talk to them, the two kids going at it with animal sounds instead of actual words. Jeez. These kids.

"All right. Everyone hush. Right now," she calls back.

"Shut the hell up," Dashiell says loudly.

Shiiiip. As Castle would say. Ship, ship, ship. She needs a good stand-in for fu-

"Frak," Castle mutters, twisting back in his seat to look at her.

Frak. She clenches her jaw and rolls it around. Frak could work. Where does that one come from? Oh, she's also heard him say 'fudge' before too. Frakkin' fudge. Ship.

It doesn't have the ring that the curse words do.

"Dashiell. That's not a nice way to ask someone to be quiet," Kate says, grating at the hypocrisy in her own words. "We don't say that."

"You said it."

"I'm not four years old. I'm the mommy. Mommies get to say stuff to Daddies sometimes that-"

"That they shouldn't," Castle cuts in, shooting her a what the hell are you doing? look. "Not even adults should say it, but sometimes when we're angry, it does come out. But we try to be better than that."

Dash grunts. "Mommy was angry at you."

"Still am," she hisses.

"Kate."

"Castle."

"Daddy?"

She could scream. Seriously. What she wants to do is pull over and kick them all out of the car, even Ellery with her crazy screeching, and then drive off.

Of course she's not going to do that. But it's a soothing daydream. For half a second.

Kate sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it. It's not nice to be rude and hurt people's feelings just because you're angry. Do you understand, Dash?"

"Sure. But it feels good to say."

Yeah, this kind of conversation? She doesn't have the resources or the experience or the knowledge to handle. "Castle."

"Dash. Lots of things feel good, but aren't right. And then after you do them, then worst part is that it feels really really bad once it's over."

"Mommy do you feel really really bad now?"

No. Actually, she feels pretty damn good.

Well. Okay, that's not true. Consequences, right? That's what Castle is getting at. And these consequences? Dashiell blatantly cussing and saying he *likes* it? "Yeah, I'm feeling bad about it."

"Oh. Well I'm not feeling bad about it." More than a hint of defiance in his voice, a pleased tone under it all. Ellery squawks from her seat and Kate catches her little arm smacking Dash in the rear view mirror.

Castle is already turning around in his seat; Kate can see half of the glare he's leveling on their kids. It reminds her, inexplicably, of her father. He used to be able to quash her rebellion with just a look. Frak. Castle is as scary as her father was.

His voice is low and dangerous. "Ellery. No hitting. Dashiell. I can *make* you feel bad."

Kate feels the temperature in the whole car drop a few degrees, everything get very quiet. Then Ellery's little voice in stereo with Dash's whispered: "Yes, Daddy."

A hot flush of arousal jolts her; she has to keep her eyes on the road and seriously not look at him, seriously not look, but she snags his hand as he turns, squeezes it hard, tries to breathe as she drives.

That was hot. Steel and strength and control. The iron in his voice. Unrelenting. Serious. Jeez, she's messed up. Seriously messed up.

"No more bad words," Castle says softly.

She nods.

Yes, sir.

Castle isn't exactly sorry for the quiet that reigns over the car during the remainder of their drive. He wishes he could take Ellery aside and explain to her that while he does love the fact that she's letting herself be heard, that is not the way to do it. Not with hitting and screeching. Actual words. He would also like to take Kate aside and ask her what the hell is going on with her. And yeah, he would use a bad word to do it.

A petulant conversation about music gets her riled up. Pissed instead of sexy angry. Too bad. He knows he basically disparaged her music choices, but it's not like she cares what he thinks about her music. He's the sappy, clingy *girl* in this relationship. He's the one who needs her approval for everything.

She makes all the decisions, all the plans, and he goes along with it. Mostly because he's a pretty laidback kind of guy, but also because he wants to do what she wants to do. It makes him happy to see her get what she wants. The reverse is not always true.

They have their issues about her steamrolling over him, like when she enrolled Dash in preschool without even asking him, and then just this week, arranging everything behind his back to push him into consulting with the precinct again.

So the first time he really pushes, and on music?-

Well, no, that's not entirely true. The first time he really pushed was when she got pregnant with Dash. He pushed hard. And she came around. She took her sweet time, but she figured it out.

When Kate parks the beast in the mall lot, she turns and gives him a long look. Hot. Aroused look. What in the world?

Castle lifts an eyebrow, his hand on the ipod to put it away. "Kate?"

She darts forward and jams her tongue down his throat, bites his bottom lip, licks at the raw place, wet and dirty.

When she pulls back, she wipes the back of her hand over her mouth and takes a ragged breath in, her cheeks burning.

"What was that?" he whispers, stunned and turned on and trying to wrap his brain around this development.

"Me being appreciative, Daddy." She slides the seatbelt off, opens her door, and hops out, leaving him floundering like a caught fish in the front seat.

Appreciative. Of?

Him?

Castle shakes his head, hides the ipod in the center console, then gets out as well, checking his back pocket for his wallet. He's got on jeans and a Green Lantern tshirt, but Kate looks cute in her skinny tights and draped shirt. Dress. Something. She's wearing a loose belt slung low over her hips, a necklace that hangs between her breasts, and she just kissed him like she wanted to slide over into his seat and straddle him.

And now she's letting Dash get out of the SUV, the keys in her hand, her other helping their son down, smiling at something Dash is saying to her. Her dark hair is pulled half back, just over her shoulders; she reaches up with the keys in her hand and brushes it back from her face.

As if nothing has happened. She's good at that. She recovers quickly. At least on the outside.

Okay. Well. Time to shop, right?

Stop thinking about her body in that outfit, how summery and lovely she looks, and the fight that somehow turned into 'appreciative' making out.

"Daddy," says an insistent voice.

Castle glances back to his daughter and laughs. "Sorry, Cricket. Mommy just has me distracted."

Ellery puts a little hand on his shoulder as he leans in, pats him gently. As if to say it's okay, she understands. And she just might.

He unbuckles her restraints and lifts her out of the seat, opting to carry her, striped tights and frilly skirt and pink sandals all. He shuts her door and hears the locks click immediately, then rounds the car. Kate and Dash are a few meters ahead of them already; Kate with the keys in her hand, pointed back towards the car, Dashiell skip-hopping.

The SUV honks with the alarm being set, making Ellery startle.

"Just Mommy locking the doors, Cricket," he says with a laugh.

"Chirp, chirp."

He laughs out loud, causing Kate to turn around and wait for them, a soft question in her eyes, hope and expectation.

"Say it again for Mommy, sweetheart," he whispers into Ellery's ear. "Be Mommy's little cricket."

As soon as they approach Dashiell and Kate, Ellery gives them all that clever and knowing grin, then leans her cheek against Castle's shoulder.

"Chirp, chirp. I a cricket, Mommy."

It paints Kate's face with joy.