11. Chapter 11

Castle yawns and feels a foot smack into his face, jerks awake. The kid on top of him giggles.

"All right, all right. I'm up. Where'd you come from?" He wrestles his daughter closer and smacks her cheek with a wet kiss, still on his side facing the windows.

She giggles again, but her shoulders slump as she looks around the room. After a moment, Castle realizes she's looking for her stuffed animal.

"Oh, sorry, baby," he whispers, cuddling her closer. "Totoro isn't here."

Ella's face wilts and she curls into his chest.

"We'll find him. I promise." Because he knows already where Totoro is, hopes it is, but he doesn't want to mention it, just in case the rental company has found some other kid's toy, or in case it is hers, but it gets lost in transit. He's learned the hard way not to make those kinds of assumptions. "So, has Mommy fed you breakfast?"

"Huh?"

Startled, Castle turns over and sees Kate beside him, struggling awake.

"No way," he breathes, gives Ellery a wide-eyed look. "Mommy was asleep?"

Kate blinks. "Oh no. What *time* is it?"

Castle checks the clock beside his bed. "Uh. Wow. It's nearly eleven."

"Oh jeez. I *hate* Recovery Day." Kate scrambles out of bed for the bathroom; Castle watches the iPad slip to the floor. Oh well, it's in the case.

Ellery crawls off of him, then drops to the floor slowly, using her arms to cling to the comforter as she goes. She picks up Kate's iPad and gives her father a slow, delighted smile, her head barely clearing the top of the bed.

"Okay, all right. Since mommy left it. Crawl up with me, Cricket."

Ella places the iPad on the bed with both hands, giving him a cheeky smile, then hauls herself back up, tottering for a moment before she makes it. Castle grabs the iPad and wakes it up, tugs Ella into his arms.

Kate comes back into their room brushing her teeth. "I'm starving," she says around her toothbrush.

"I brought some stuff with us, but not a whole lot," Castle replies, tapping the screen. Ella's favorite matching game takes over the iPad and he places it in her lap. She grins at him and starts matching the cow to the calf, the sheep to the lamb.

"Any peanut butter?"

"Uh. Yeah, actually."

"That'll help. I ran 6 miles on toast, didn't eat anything when I got back."

"Kate," he growls, frowning at her.

"I know; I just forgot. You kinda - interrupted me."

"Me? How did I - oh." He grins and quirks his eyebrow. "I did."

"I'll have some peanut butter on bread." She sighs, shoulders slumping, and he's struck by how Ella's mannerisms are so much like Kate's. "We need to make a grocery list."

"I did that already."

She pauses mid-pivot, her face turning back to look at him. "Shut up. You did not."

"I did."

"Richard Castle, you are an amazing man," she breathes and comes over to the bed to grasp his ears and kiss him. Hard. He can taste her toothpaste.

"Well thanks. Minty fresh." He laughs and knocks her hand away from his ear. She heads back for the sink.

"Did you plan out dinners for the kids too?"

"Yeah. Kinda."

"Kinda?"

"Uhh. . ." Castle reaches down and covers Ella's ears. "Pizza every night?"

Kate raises an eyebrow. "Every night?"

He shrugs.

"Oh, what the hell. It's vacation."

"Language."

"You covered her ears," Kate says, shrugging at him and turning back to the bathroom. He hears the water running and strokes the hair back from Ellery's face.

"You heard everything, didn't you?"

Ella's face turns up to him, wide blue eyes. She nods.

"That's what I thought."

Kate comes back into the room, pulling her hair back halfway, pieces spilling over her ears, into her mouth as she hurries. She scrapes them out, frowning, then holds her hands out to Ella.

"Hey, baby girl. Want some. . .brunch? Lunch? What are we doing here, Castle?"

"PB for everyone? We'll run into town for groceries and Tot. . .uh. . ." He lifts his eyebrows and nods his head towards Ellery. Maybe she has a different opinion?

Kate shakes her head.

"For the other thing," he finishes. "They won't starve."

"I might," she growls, and pecks Ella on the cheek. "Let's go. Daddy, can you get Dash?"

"Let me put on some jeans." Kate's still in her leggings and oversized shirt. "You want to change first?"

"I'll do that after I get them eating."

"And you. Don't you forget to eat."

"Not gonna happen," she assures him, pushing on his shoulder as she moves towards the door.

"Good. Gotta fuel up for the marathon." He waits half a second for her to get his innuendo, then smiles widely at the dark heat in her eyes. "Yeah. That's right."

"Hush," she murmurs and leans in to brush a soft kiss to his mouth. "But soon."

She leaves with Ella, and he has to sit there for a second, gather himself back together.

Castle walks into the kitchen with a sleepy boy in his arms. Kate turns to watch them, still stunned by it. Her son slept in.

He shrugs. "I had to wake him up. It feels so wrong."

She huffs a laugh and nods to the other chair pulled up to the bar. "If he'll eat."

Ellery lifts up on her knees and pats her brother's back as Castle passes by. She seems anxious to see Dash so drowsy. But the boy lifts his head and cracks a wide yawn, then opens his eyes.

"Peanut butter on bread?"

"Yeah, all we got." Kate crams the last of her own slice into her mouth and watches Castle settle the kid into his chair. Dashiell looks a little sluggish at first, but he yawns again and then folds his bread over and starts to eat.

Kate changed into shorts and an oversized green shirt while Castle was waking up their son, so she's a little ahead of schedule. Well, no schedule on Recovery Day, but if they want to pick up Totoro and then get groceries and still have some daylight left for the beach, they need to be on their way in the next thirty minutes.

Castle brushes his hand across Dash's head, ruffling his hair, and takes the slice that Kate holds out to him. She watches him settle onto the last bar stool, watches him glance over at both his kids, subtly hovering, making sure Ellery is actually eating, making sure Dash isn't taking too big a bite. His eyes shift to hers, a questioning smile as he finds her looking.

She gives him a ghost of a smile and shrugs. He loves his kids. She loves watching him love his kids.

Kate remembers the look on his face when she told him she was pregnant with Ella, the way everything in him lighted up. A quiet morning between them before she headed to work, still lingering in bed, his hand making idle circles over her stomach; her certainty had been with her all night. She had a doctor's appointment scheduled for later in the week, but she couldn't possibly keep it from him any longer.

She remembers the surprise that washed over his face first, and then the long, slow unfolding of his joy. Her heart clenches even now, with the memory. Her children's father.

She lowers her head to look at her water glass, changes the subject mentally. "I was watching your Mom's show the other day-"

His laughter echoes in the kitchen. "Which one?"

She lifts her eyes to his, quirks a smile. "Hulk."

"You're kidding. It was on tv?"

"That Retro channel we have." Kate brushes her hair back and licks peanut butter off her thumb. "Anyway. It occurred to me that you never talk about your mom's work."

He sighs and sits down at the kitchen bar. "I was eight. For that tv series."

"Were you. . .there? On set?"

Dashiell bumps his cup and the thing topples loudly. Castle rights it, handing it back, and Kate is grateful she went with the sippy cup for him, even though he often complains about it being for babies.

"I was on set for that one, yeah."

"What's that like?" She shifts and leans a hip against the counter, watching him. A few days after Ellery was born, Castle initiated a version of Truth or Dare, trying to help keep her awake during feedings. They adapt the rules a little more each time, alter it whenever the need arises, but she likes pulling it out at random times, asking him questions when he's not on top of his game. She gets better answers this way, less of a chance for him to make up some great, flowery sentence designed to romanticize his subject.

"Mostly boring. I honestly don't remember much."

"But you were on a tv set. Why don't you remember?"

He shrugs. "You know me."

"Yeah, yeah, your brain has repressed the painful memories of childhood." She rolls her eyes at him and leans onto the counter, knowing that her oversized shirt dips in front, that she gives him just enough of a view to distract him.

He's easily distracted though. When it comes to her. Which makes her smile.

He takes a long look, then glances up at her. "Actually, that-" he points to her teasing position "-isn't working. So there."

She grins back, straightens up. "Too bad. We could've gone for four."

"That's so not funny. And impossible with little ears."

"Not impossible, just. . .problematic. I thought you were up to the challenge, Castle."

He growls at her just under his breath; Ellery swivels her head to look at him.

Kate grins to herself and sips at her water again. "So. Being on set."

He shrugs. "Uh, let's see. From what little I remember. . .oh, there was a tutor my mother hired. He spent most of his time with her, not me, so I had lots of free time. I roamed around, got lost in the props trailer, had my face made up to look like a lion by the makeup artist."

She grins, superimposing the golden lines over a young boy's face in her mind's eye. "Did you sneak off and meet the Hulk?"

"Of course I did. And because I was only eight, I made the mistake of asking him to sign one of my comic books. I thought he was like. . .Hulk himself."

"You did not," she laughs, trying to picture an eight year old Rick asking the actor to sign his comic book, maybe still with his face painted, eager and ferocious at the same time.

"Yeah and he signed it for me. He was in his green paint and stuff at the time, so it was a little. . .overwhelming. I kept expecting him to rip me apart. Be angry. But he was mostly just uninterested."

She smiles softly and comes around the kitchen island to his side, nudging him with her hip. He slides over a little and she sits on a third of the stool, keeping one foot on the floor to maintain her balance.

"That's a good one," she murmurs, and kisses his shoulder.

"Thanks for playing."

"I had a really good Dare in mind."

"I'll just bet you did," he laughs. "That's why I did my best to answer."

"Your turn?"

"I'll think of something. Ready to get going?"

"Yup. I'm gonna be starving in a couple of hours." She kisses his cheek again and slides off the stool. "You grab the list. And your deep pockets, yeah?"

"Got it covered."

"Hey kiddos, you wanna go get some groceries?" She reaches for Dashiell but he pulls back, disdaining her offer of help to get down by himself. As if in consolation, Ellery holds out her hands to her mother, head tilted, small smile on her face.

"Aw, thank you, sweet girl. Let's get you guys dressed." Kate grabs her daughter and hugs her tight, rubbing her back.

When Ella was still a tiny thing, she would curl up really close to Kate, her little baby hands making fists in Kate's shirt. If Kate went to put her down, the girl would mewl and clutch tighter, as if she couldn't bear to be away from her mother. She never really cried, just little whimpers.

If Ellery had been her first, Kate's pretty sure it would've made her nuts, put her on edge to be so tethered. But instead, she spent hours holding her daughter while she slept, marveling over her, secretly loving that the girl needed her, wanted her so close. She thinks, deep down, that wanting Ellery so badly from the first had made the difference.

Kate hugs her girl a little tighter and heads back for her room, following Dash down the hall. "Let's get some clothes on, okay?"

Ellery squeezes her neck then pulls back with a suddenly sad and pathetic face.

"Oh, baby, what's wrong?"

Ella's face drops further. Sorrow shimmers in her eyes, then her lips part.

"Toto," she whispers.

Kate sighs. "I know. I know you miss him."

She's tempted to give in and promise the girl she'll have the stuffed animal back, today, but she's been burned on that one before.

She keeps her mouth shut, but she holds Ella closer.