A doctor’s confession

Tim texted Jenna in the evening, thanking her for the bouquet, and said his mother liked it very much. The peculiar feeling with Tim was circling around her. She had this feeling that Tim was going to say something she was afraid of.

He did.

He asked her out for a dinner. He didn’t say it was going to be a date, but Jenna was scared. She hated that awkward confrontment she has to face after refusing him, and having to see him at the hospital again.

“Damn,” she said, putting her phone down after reading his texts. “What should I say to you, Tim?”

She tried to assembled her chaotic mind for an answer, what to say so that the poor lad won’t get hurt. Tim was overall a nice person, not a bad looking fellow, tall, lean, a doctor, saves people’s lives… Jenna scratches her head while trying to lay out good things about Tim.

Buzz. Jenna’s phone vibrated with a message tone. It was Tim again.

Hi, Jenna. I was thinking if what I said makes you feel uncomfortable, just ignore it. You don’t have to give me an answer now.

Now Tim made it even more difficult for Jenna to say no to him. He was being really nice – in making her feel bad to reject him. This is insane. She led out a heavy puff. Everything the girls said in the morning came back replaying behind her mind like crazy. Maybe I should give Mr. doctor a chance, she thought carefully before replying to his text.

Hi Tim. That would be lovely but I’m pretty occupied this week, perhaps next week. Sure. I look forward to it. Tim replied.

That does it. Jenna couldn’t believe the decision she had made, but a dinner with a doctor won’t be so bad. “No… what if Tim thinks I like him? What if Tim asks me to be his girlfriend? Darn. Jenna, you are a prat,” Jenna scoffed at her own slow-to-come hindsight.

A little portion in her heart tells her she could make some room for Tim, she couldn’t see the reason why not. Tim was, like she always knew, a nice fellow. Another portion in her brain tells her there is no love chemical reaction, so don’t give him a chance or it will only ended up hurting each other.

My brain and my heart are never on the same line.

Paparazzo never cared

Seth had informed Joe that he doesn’t have the obligation to keep him hospitable, he was quite happy just being isolated from the world. Since Seth is quite a good cook himself, he enjoyed making his own healthy meals at home. As a fervid weight watcher, Seth is quite selective with his food, counting the calories for each meal. It has been a habit already since the actors had to stay fit for their roles.

Swiping the images on the phone with his finger while lying on his bed, Seth was admiring and reminiscing the work he had accomplished, feeling rather satisfied with his achievement. He had been keeping up with his job as a paparazzo for a couple of days already, and he rewarded himself with a large pack of chips and kebab.

Life as a paparazzo was stressless, and his routine was virtually the same every day. The coffee shop just opposite Olive’s Flower Shop was a perfect place for breakfast, and snooping. Almost every morning Seth would take the same seat by the window, and somehow wished he had a pair of binoculars with him to check on his target. But after today’s incident, he won’t be going back to that place ever again.

Jane Brown rarely comes out from the shop, even during lunch time. On some unlucky days, the girls will stack up tall flowers on the rack outside the shop and blocked half of his view. Sometimes he would saunter around, passing by the shop, and being extremely careful at the same time so that the girls at the shop won’t be suspicious at him. The thing is never wear the same thing every day.

Jane Brown is no more than ordinary Jane with a simple life.

There were other things that he had discovered about Jane Brown as well, such as she had lunch at a small, almost-hidden garden several times, and did her grocery at the same supermarket nearby. It was a big possibility that she was single.

Seth was looking at one of the pictures he had captured in the middle of the precinct, where Jane Brown strolled slowly while talking on the phone on her way back home. Her hair was rippling in the wind, and she had a winsome smile on her face, very attractive. He was staring at her picture, studying every angle of her face, beguiled by her unique looks. Unconsciously, he realized his ears went hot.

This is just pure fun, he reminded himself, then switched off the lamp and snuggled down into his comforter.

Paparazzo never cared.

Repercussion, regret, and reminiscence

The room was reeling again. He pressed his hand on his head, attempting to stop the reeling vision. He knew it too well, that the attempt was useless. What he had was too powerful for his body and mind to take control of. He thought back to what happened last night…

I did it again, didn’t I? Damn it.

His phone vibrated along with the message tone. Slowly, he reached for his phone. It was his sister. This was probably her third or fourth texts from her, and he hadn’t been replying her for some time. He read the text with strenuous effort, never knew that his eye lids could be so weighty. He wanted to tap on the screen to text her back. But his vision was blurry, and his hands were fidgeting even though he tried hard to take charge of his hand-eye coordination, causing him to type the wrong letters again and again.

Arrgh! This is impossible! He slammed his phone onto the bed in rage.

He couldn’t help feeling bad for the unwise choice he made last night. Life is no life, my life is a mess, these words kept repeating in his mind, and causing depression. Tears trickled down from the corner of his eyes. What is the reason to be alive, while there are so many temptations, so many obstacles to be normal and happy, he asked himself. He hoisted his heavy arm to the drawer beside his bed, searching for a tiny red thing he knew that could end this agony.

A Swiss knife set.

Small, but if you use it to cut your wrist or slit your throat, you’ll end up dead too. With much effort he pulled the blade out, starring at it, and thinking whether he should do the wrist or the neck. He hated his life. He wanted to end his life, to purge this evilness that kept on tormenting him, right away. He decided to go with the wrist. He held his wrist up and placed the blade on it. He then faltered over seeing his own name, carved on the handle.

Check out this cool gadget, dad! Can I have it?

A request from a peppy thirteen year old boy, asking his father for the red Victorinox Swiss knife set as a souvenir in a shop in Bern. His dad got him what he had asked for, of course – because he had done well in his year end exams. On top of that, he beat all the students in his school and got first place in Math quiz. Dear old daddy was so proud of his son, he promised to get him a gift while they went visiting Switzerland. He had an eye for this cool gadget the moment he saw it in the Victorinox shop. His sister, however, wasn’t interested in cool gadgets at all. Instead, she went to a Swarovski jewellery shop with mom, and got herself a sparkly apple shaped necklace. She was so happy that she wore it every single day while they were in Switzerland.

“I didn’t do too well in Math quiz, but…!” She paused to emphasize, “I still earned a consolation prize in swimming competition last year.”

“Oh yes, of course. I still remember that you were not very happy with the results,” dad teased her. But his beautiful, dark-haired sister didn’t mind at all and kept on giggling. He remembered vividly those days in Switzerland, especially in Bern, where he and his sister got what they wanted for Christmas.

That prominent white cross with red background means a lot to him. He pushed the blade back in, gripping the knife set as hard as he could and holding it close to his chest. He missed them dearly. He missed those days where there were lots of happiness, lots of love. He started sobbing uncontrollably. Those days were gone, but those people are still alive. He wanted to stay alive, to see them again.