Leaving

(Clarissa)

Pristine. Unspoiled. Spotless.

The words played in my head over and over as I gazed at my reflection in the floor length mirror. A criticizing eye. My clothes were baggy yet starched to perfection. The navy blue of my blazer sharp and my long-pleated skirt stiff, coming way below my knees. My hair, like always, pulled into a nice smooth bun at the nap of my neck. It took hours to perfect my hair every morning. My natural springy curls refused to be tamed, even after years of straightening it, and wearing it as tight to my scalp as I could brush it. I pushed the thick rim off my glasses up my nose, hiding the fact that my eyes were too big for my face, their light grey blue blurred behind the glass. My finely arched too blonde eyebrows were almost invisible above my eyes, a fact that I had been made fun of my whole life. The platinum blonde of my hair had always been the focus point of every conversation, everyone wondering why I would do that to my hair. No one ever believed that it was naturally this light, almost white, so plain. I tell no one that I have mild form of albinism, let them all say what they want to about me, their opinions meant nothing.

"Clarissa!" my mother's voice yells from downstairs; the winey tone makes me cringe.

"Coming!" I yell back to her.

Today was the beginning of the rest of my life. I was officially about to start my first semester of college at Yale University. Living in New York, my mother about had a fit when my acceptance letter to Yale came in the mail, she had always hoped I would attend NYU, while living at home. Most parents would be ecstatic that their child had been accepted to such a prestigious Ivy league school, not my mother. I had been suffocated by her long enough, it was time that I struck out on my own, become my own person. Whoever that may be. Yale was just a two hour drive away but to me, that felt like another country. I lived in New York City, one of the most exciting places in the world, or so I have been told. I had never seen much of it, in my eighteen years of life, I had never even visited the Statue of Liberty or eaten a hot dog from a food truck. My whole world had been strictly dedicated to school; eat, sleep, and breath school. Due to my "disability" as my mother calls it, I was never allowed to experience most things "normal" people did. My Albinism was not a hindrance, I was one of the lucky ones, the only thing it really affected was my eyesight, and even that could have been a lot worse.

I sigh wistfully taking in my appearance for the last time, before grabbing the remainder of my bags, and awkwardly making my way down the stairs.

"Took you long enough," My mother's clipped voice comes, "We should have been on the road twenty minutes ago."

I bristle at her tone but keep my thoughts to myself, she is just anxious about me leaving. This will be the first time in eighteen years that I have been away from home, so I will allow her a pass. I know how hard this must be for her, having no control over my personal life anymore, she must be going out of her mind at the idea. It had been just us since I was five and my Father walked out on us. Having a kid with a disability was not in the cards for him, so he packed up, and left us high and dry. The thoughts of my father are bitter in my mind and I shake my head to clear the memories away. Nothing is going to ruin this day, I am starting fresh, I am finally going to have freedom.

"Hey Clarissa." Jordan, the boy next door, and my only friend smiles as he greets me at the door. Taking my bags from he, he helps load up the SUV.

"Jordan." I say on a held breath.

Jordan Holden is perfect. He is exactly who I see myself eventually settling down with a marrying. The way his clothes are straight laced and clean, he well combed hair, and perfectly even tanned skin. His demeanor is calm and relaxing, never overbearing or taxing to be around. He is my best friend, my only friend, and had been around my whole life. It was expected that we would eventually end up together. Both of our Mothers' always gushed about when the wedding would be, they basically had everything already planned out for us. Until I went and applied to Yale and put a little hitch in those said plans. I would not be attending NYU with Jordan and that had been the end of my Mother's little world.

"I hope you don't mind, Anna thought it would be a good idea for me to come along to help move you into your new dorm." He smiles shyly at me.

"Of course, I don't mind, I'm glad you'll be in the car with us." I say and mean it. Having Jordan with us will make the drive tolerable, he was always a good buffer between me and my mom. I will also miss him terribly when I leave. I am going to a new City, starting a new school, where I will not know a single soul.

"Glad to hear it." He laughs lightly.

With the car packed up, I slide into the passenger seat, and Jordan hops in the back. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, I think once again. I keep repeating it over and over. A shiver creeps up my spin, a weird foreboding feeling, like something ominous is about to happen. I grab my earphones out of my pocket and plug them into my phone, putting them in my ears, I click on my playlist and drowned out the sound of my mother's voice and sooth my sudden unease.