[Saturday, Evening]
The evening was uneventful like any other, boring would be how I'd describe it. Today's regularly scheduled broadcast isn't brought to you by your usual host, but instead by me, Ethan! I bet you were expecting Owen, but he isn't here.
I am at my job today. Recently I've been forced to get a job and today is my first day. It's a simple job in a little warehouse-like shop in the small city where we live. I've only been here for a few minutes and I was told to wait around for the other employee who will show me the ropes. I'm not ecstatic but at least I'm getting paid. Maybe this will end up being good for me. From what I understood, it was an easy job.
"Sorry, for the wait. What was your name again? Ah! Ethan!"
This was a voice I was all too familiar with, and hearing it forced anxiety down my throat. I wanted to run away the second I heard her voice but instead, I froze.
"I-i d-didn't know you worked here? K-Kaylee?"
NO ONE TOLD ME KAYLEE WORKED HERE! IF I KNEW I WOULDN'T HAVE COME!
"OH! It's you, Ethan, I thought the surname sounded familiar. I'm glad it's you, since we already get along this shouldn't be too hard, right?"
Don't look at me with that cutesy smile and caring words, I've been through enough. I can't even bring myself to force a smile. My heart was wanting to break free from my chest. I'm still not over her.
"Shall we get going?"
"A-ah, sure."
It took around half an hour for Kaylee to show me around the place and to get me familiar with the systems and how it all worked. Although, I hardly was paying attention. I kept wanting to glance at her face and look at her smile.
It was currently 7 PM, and as we were working late into the night business was slow and all we had to do was wait around.
"I'm surprised you got it that quickly, most people give up and never come back. 'cause our system sucks, that's the smartest in the class for you."
The people that ran were lucky. They probably ran because they couldn't deal with someone so pretty being near them all the time. Her compliments just kept hurting more and more knowing that they'll never truly be for me.
"Yeah. I guess so."
"Hmmm. You know. I was just thinking. We kinda stopped talking after the first week, we don't talk that much anymore. Even in drama class, I feel like I never speak to you much."
What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry I stopped talking to you, I didn't know you had a boyfriend and when I found out I got depressed.'
She even gave me her number but we never used it. I guess Owen and Sean were right, maybe it was a fake...
"I've been busy lately, studying."
"Ah. I should probably start studying. I suck at maths! I bet you're top of the class in that one. Hehe."
Her cuteness was killing me, she always has a smile on her face and handles everything as positively as possible. I wanted to have nothing to do with her, but I now find myself looking at her more.
"Ha, only just. Owen is just as good as me but fails 'cause of exam pressure." I can feel how awkward I'm being. My words are too cautious in my mind. But if I took my time to think about them, I'd only stand out more.
"Oh really? He does have glasses, kinda gives off that mathematician vibe! Hmpf Hmpf Yes."
Kaylee pretended to push glasses up on her face as if a stereotypical scientist.
My heart skipped a beat as I could feel my breath slowly getting harder and harder to deal with. I wasn't aware of how loud my anxiety was until now. I could feel the panic wash over me.
I could feel the rope snap.
Just what am I doing?
This is too painful.
I wanna go home…
"Maybe you guys can help me study sometime, I'll invite Ruby and It'll be like a double date."
Please don't say that.
"Maybe one day," I replied, not knowing what else to say.
I don't want to deal with this anymore.
Why is it always me?
-DING DONG-
"OH! A customer, I'll go sort them out, don't worry, it's your first day so you take it easy! Okay?"
Kaylee skipped off to help the customer whilst I watched her leave again, my mind circling and spiralling out of control.
I crouched down in the back storeroom, feeling sick in my stomach. I've never been able to talk to girls, and I've never liked one this much.
This hurts.
I don't know how much longer I can last.
I want to leave.