Chapter 46 Surely not pretending to be asleep this time, right

Moonlight spilled through the thin curtain onto the skin. With a straight nose bridge and long, slender eyelashes casting a shadow on the face. The long eyelashes quivered slightly with each breath.

The eyes that usually gazed over this way were hidden beneath the eyelids. Just this alone made the atmosphere seem even more childish than usual.

"Surely not pretending to be asleep this time, right?"

I gazed at the defenseless sleeping face and let out a gentle sigh. The breathing was very regular, so there seemed to be no need to worry. But when I stroked the smooth hair scattered on the pillow, Blake frowned slightly and moved a bit.

"... You're overdoing it with the touching."

After confirming once again that he wasn't awake, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Could it be that he had expected something like this would happen all along, so that's why he dislikes it?"

I remembered that after deciding to live in my house, Blake had always disliked sleeping in the same room as me. Carl just watched him like that with a grin. But I felt that I wasn't the type who would want to touch him all the time. It wasn't to the extent that he would dislike me so much.

However, it was a fact that when seeing Blake, I couldn't resist the urge to touch him.

"It can calm a person down."

Just by touching Blake, my mood would become calm. Usually when he hugs me or holds my hand, it can also calm me down.

"But, this might interfere with sleep."

At first, I was lying properly on the bed while Blake got into the quilt spread on the floor. Of course, we both fell asleep at first. But somehow, after waking up midway through, I couldn't fall asleep again. Now I'm lying beside him, gazing at his sleeping face.

I also felt that my behavior was a bit inappropriate – but still couldn't resist the urge to touch him.

"What a nuisance."

"... Um"

While muttering to myself and sinking into self-loathing, unexpectedly I sighed too loudly and Blake moved again. This time he opened his eyes slightly and looked at me drowsily.

"Ben?"

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

Blake kept staring at me without moving. I blinked. It seemed that his mind was gradually waking up and his eyes were opening wider.

"What's wrong?"

Thinking that he was awake, suddenly he lifted the quilt and sat up. Then he got up from beside me and retreated at an astonishing speed as if avoiding me.

"What, what are you doing?"

"No, nothing."

I was surprised by Blake's rarely heard impatient voice. At the same time, I tilted my head. His face twitched slightly.

"Please spare me."

He covered his face with both hands, lowered his head, and muttered something. I waited for a long time but he didn't show any intention of raising his head. I grew impatient and walked over to him through the quilt.

"Blake?"

I gently peeked at his lowered face. The back of his head hit the shelf behind him with a dull sound. Then he lowered his head again. The sound of the impact on the shelf indicated that he had hit it quite hard.

"Are you, are you okay?"

I panicked and stroked his head. It was a bit warm there. One could imagine how hard he had hit it. However, this flustered Blake was a first for me to see.

"I'm fine."

Saying this, he gently put down my hand that was touching him and let out a long breath.

"Um, is it that you dislike having your sleeping face peeked at?"

"No."

"Then is it because I touched you while you were sleeping and made it hard for you to sleep well?"

"... "

Blake looked at me in confusion and suddenly his face flushed red. It could be clearly seen even in the dim room.

"What on earth are you doing!"

"Huh?"

Blake showed an extremely pained expression which confused me. Suddenly, he reached out and gently stroked my hair.

"I feel like I'm undergoing an extremely great test."

"What kind of test?"

"All sorts of things."

I didn't understand what Blake meant and frowned. He showed that troubled smile like usual. Blake often showed such an extremely confused and indescribable expression. No matter how much I stared, I couldn't see through the thoughts behind his expression. I couldn't understand him at all.

"You're always so ambiguous like this. That's why I don't understand."

I said half in a tantrum with a distorted corner of my mouth. Blake suddenly pulled me over with his free hand.

"Indeed, if Ben doesn't express clearly through words and actions, he might really not understand."

"What do you mean?"

As soon as I spoke, I felt an impact on my back and the words got stuck in my throat. Actually, Blake was supporting me so it wasn't that serious. But the sudden change in my field of vision still left me dumbfounded.

"This is what I mean."

Suddenly, the ceiling appeared in front of my eyes. Before I could even understand the situation, a shadow appeared in front of me again, blocking my view. Then I saw Blake's face with a wry smile.

"Er, what is this?"

My slow-witted mind was working at full capacity trying to understand the situation. I panicked and stopped Blake's face from getting closer. As if expecting my resistance, Blake wasn't surprised and quickly moved away.

"Think about this kind of thing in your mind at least a bit and be more careful."

"Ah, okay... Sorry."

My heart suddenly started beating violently and my breathing quickened. But Blake looked down at me, smiling. This time he gently stroked my head like he was soothing me.

"Please don't do those cute things that would burn away my rationality."

"I, I'm not. Doing that kind of thing."

"Liar."

Blake let out a gentle sigh. I panicked and corrected him but he just gave an even more wry smile.

"Can't calm down?"

"Um, what can't calm down?"

He kept staring at me. I was looked down upon by him and felt like my heart was about to break. But Blake was smiling extremely gently as if ignoring my feelings.

"You haven't been able to sleep all this time, right?"

"Were you awake!"

"Before Ben initially fell asleep, I was awake."

I panicked and wanted to jump up but my body was restrained and my back fell onto the quilt again. I just stared at Blake like this for a while, forgetting to blink. For some reason, Blake lay down beside me.

"Really, extremely sleepy, right?"

"Huh?"

"No way around it."

Blake smoothed my hair, sighed, and pulled me towards his chest. I was surprised by this sudden embrace. Before I could react, I was covered with the quilt. I looked up at Blake in confusion.

"What?"

"Do you dislike it?"

"... No, but"

Not only did I not dislike it, I was even surprised by the sudden wave of sleepiness that hit me and my mind became fuzzy.

Extremely sleepy – just a moment ago I wasn't sleepy at all. I felt at ease with Blake's heartbeat and the faint warmth I could sense.

"I've said it before. I only have you. As long as I have Ben, I don't need anything else. All of me belongs to Ben."

"All?"

"Yes, all."

Blake's words gradually warmed my chest and the sleepiness became even stronger. I gazed at Blake who was blinking with a smile. Finally, I realized what was hidden behind my feeling of wanting to touch him.

Was it restlessness?

I stretched out my arm and hugged Blake's back. For some reason, I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to cry. This warmth was so precious that it made my chest tighten.

"Blake, I'm sleepy."

I suddenly said something extremely coquettish. But now I could no longer resist the sleepiness and the comfort.

"Don't worry, sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"... Um"

I felt Blake give a slight smile at my slurred speech due to sleepiness. The hand stroking my hair was very warm and the arm hugging me back was very gentle. I felt that something missing was being filled.

"Blake"

"What is it."

"... Good night."

After muttering this myself, my consciousness gradually drifted away. But I felt a slight warmth touching my lips and the corners of my mouth relaxed involuntarily.