Olivia and I didn??t have a long sexual relationship. It only lasted about five or six months and ended when I told her I was seeing Jay again. She was furious with me for sleeping with him behind her back, especially since we??d agreed to be honest with each other if one of us wanted to see other people. But for weeks I just couldn??t bring myself to tell her he and I were together again, partly because I knew she hated Jay, but mainly because I was ashamed to admit I was still in love with the man who??d treated me so poorly in the past. Just thinking about the way Jay dumped me to marry Meghan in an effort to hide his closeted homosexuality brought a wave of emotions I thought I??d managed to suppress. Being dumped by him was devastating but, even after that slap in the face, I still loved him.