Enlightened

Dad came home and he was looking tired. He was not a great father I wish I could say he was better when my mother was alive but  I can't because he has always been indifferent. I made a casual conversation with him he grunted as usual. I asked him about Ramu kaaka our butler . He was more like a father to me than dad. He said '' He will be back by today if he don't want any pay cut''. Did I say my father was indifferent   actually he is mean. I waited for Ramu kaaka  and I could see his shabby umbrella from a long distance I ran to him. He smiled at me and said ''how are you today  Miss'' ?. I just shrugged and said I was ok. He could read me like a book . I was five when my mother had left the world. Since then it was Ramu kaaka who raised me i had immense respect for that short simple man perhaps more than my father. He has finally taken a leave which I have insisted for long and left this God forsaken home for once in his life. His only daughter's wedding was a matter of pride indeed.

I was so happy and decided to ask him next question ''How was the wedding''?  He sighed and said '' Oh! All went pretty well  my daughter  is very happy.  My son in law didn't ask me any dowry''.  Ramu kaaka's daughter was very beautiful  but they had no money. So her marriage prospects were less but one day this young teacher saw her on the way to market and rest is history. Ramu kaaka says he is an atheist but apart from that fact he was considered a good groom. I briefly wondered about Jana how she went to temple every day and what will be her future will she stop going to temple may be not? Life works in mysterious ways I sighed.  I asked Ramu kaaka out of the '' Did you ever love anybody''? I know that  he has been married for an year or two his wife died in child birth. He said ''I saw my wife first at our wedding. I have never worried about loving or being loved and  one day I had a bad flu my wife cared for me day and night. Then  suddenly lying there it occurred to me I love this woman with my life''

 I was so surprised and couldn't help but interlude ''So did you tell her''? I asked. ''I wanted to then she fell sick and I took care of her . I haven't told   her  and didn't have to she could see my soul by looking to my eyes. I held her hands when she died she smiled and said ''Thanks for loving and taking care of me ''.  I was so mesmerized by this story . I wanted to be in love like that except I want to hear that he loves me.

As women we under rate ourselves so much and try to change for our better half but truth is that guys never want us to change they love us for what we are. Raja was not very expressive then he was forever brooding or deep in thought. My life has suddenly changed from pranks and entertainment to him. I was feeling happy at the sight of him smiling at something someone said.

I was not the smart girl in my class but I managed just fine. I didn't join in conversation about boys because I have never felt it necessary to attract someone till now. The boys in my class were stinky I hated every body there majority of them were entitled bullies.

I was never bullied because one could hardly bully me. I don't have usual insecurities that anyone could play with. I had more brain and was much taller than many of them. I could give them a mean punch just as any boy. So far I have been revered not proposed by them.

I noticed Raja was quite pale today immediately recognizing that he was falling ill when he took his nap time before I decided that something is wrong. I know I will be the last one he will admit it but ofcourse he was u well. I went to him to check him myself and was greeted by a loud cough. "What happened man looking like a tired old man", I scoffed at him as usual but inside I was feeling sad. "Go away brat I have no energy to fight you", he murmured incoherently.

"Are you sure it's not any sexually transmitted disease because you do look like the kind that has it", I teased him. "Mother i miss you ", he suddenly said his eyes half closed. I know it was trouble he is losing his mind. I went quietly and checked his temperature with back of my palm. It was burning hot he turned away from me. "Water mother", he said i quickly gave him water from pitcher. He drank it and immediately closed his eyes.

All these times I have known him he has not taken a leave not even one day. He has been working and saving money i knew he had ambitions beyond the stable. His hard working definitely paid off our stable was not looking abandoned anymore the horses were healthy and the place was spotless.

I immediately went inside and took my phone to call Ramu kaaka but he wasn't available so I was very worried. I didn't know what to do so I just went on to find Fanny she was lying on the bed reading a book. I immediately threw it away so I had her full attention she was looking at me annoyingly I told her I was catching a fever. She immediately got up and checked my temperature with her hands. She began to relax seeing I was not running a fever. "No Ashu you are fine", she said. "No I'm not ", I shouted my eyes were slightly watering. "OK ok here have this it's a medicine you should take for fever you will better now go and lie down ", she said a little apprehensive.

I took that medicine and ran towards Raja he was lying down. His face now a little red he was muttering something incomprehensible. I tore open the strip to find a tablet and put it in his mouth and also poured some water he drank it and coughed a few times I was worried for a second then seeing him sleeping in relaxing way I felt better I have put the rest of medicine near him do he could have them later. I stood up and left abruptly before Fanny comes searching for me.