Escaping Torture

I opened my eyes and I was back in my body. Or so I thought.

I couldn't move my body and the surrounding scenery looked familiar. Are these... train tracks?

Am I... back in the real world? Was that all a dream?

I heard whistling coming from my right and I jerked my head. Coming towards me was a familiar train.

Wait a minute, that was the train that killed me!

I panicked and tried getting out of the way but my body wouldn't budge.

Please, just let me move out of the way! I don't want to experience that pain again!

And then the train made contact with my neck and everything went black.

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...Pain... that was what I felt. The stinging pain in my neck was burning and I had difficulty even moving it. I had died... again... but why do I feel like I was still alive?

I opened my eyes once again and this time I was standing in the middle of a road.

What... what just happened? I remember being beheaded by a train.

I rubbed my neck and I could feel the scar-like it was brand new.

HONK-HONK!

I heard a truck horn and I turned. Approaching me at high-speed was... the same garbage truck that hit me before.

I attempted to jump away but my body didn't move. Why? Why won't my body budge?

The truck got closer and closer and I could hear my heart pounding like hell.

And then I felt a blunt force hit the right side of my body and everything went black again.

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...Agony... That was the feeling rising in me. The right side of my body was spasming and I couldn't control it. Again, I died, but why do I still feel like I am alive?

I opened my eyes once again and I standing in the middle of a crowd.

There was a building that looked like it would belong to a rich CEO.

This place somehow looks familiar.

I was shuffling through the crowd and I was holding on to a knife that was in my pocket. I remember this knife... I think I held it before.

Later the crowd began to move and I saw a familiar man walk out of the building. His face... it reminded me of someone...

Wait a minute, wasn't he the guy I killed?!

I began to walk faster through the crowd while the man was entering the car. If I recall, there is a slight small crack that could fit a knife. I think I remember throwing it and killing the man.

My body was moving on its own and I jumped onto the car. Then I jumped to the other side of the car and threw my knife through the window, nailing the guy in the neck.

But why do I feel a sense of uneasiness?

HONK-HONK!

I shifted my body and looked at an incoming truck. Wait, but I just saw that truck a minute ago!

I realized at that moment, I was going to die again. I couldn't control my body. Even if I were to have control of my body, the current position I was in wouldn't allow me to evade it.

The truck hit me on the left side of my body and everything went black once more.

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As time passed on, I was killed over and over again by all the events that could've gotten me killed but didn't. Either that time I was injured even the slightest or didn't even get hurt at all, I was killed and slaughtered by even the most dumbest of reasons. After I've experienced that, all I received in the end was pain.

Is this really what my former self wants? To torture me just so he could kill the entire world? I remember my former self. I was not only cold and heartless, but I was also cunning and even manipulative. I remember using anything just to accomplish my missions, whether it is bribing the cops, to even seducing my target's or client's wife.

I was smart... even for myself. I predict many possible outcomes that could happen. I was extremely cautious. Whenever I came home, I always calculate about five to ten outcomes of what would happen if I did this or did that.

But even if I had all these thoughts in my head, I could still focus on the task at hand. That is because I didn't have anything to lose. I have had a lack of empathy and even conscience.

I wasn't even human, just a vacant weapon who had already surrendered his own life.

But that changed when I reincarnated.

After meeting new people, I knew that my former self would not be able to comprehend the things going around me as it was different from what I was used to.

So I threw it away. I threw my desire to kill, my cold-heartedness, my ruthless behavior, and all the unhappy memories away.

But not even a year has passed and it has already returned. This time, in a physical form, or is it spiritual?

Anyway, it wants me to accept it back. I could hear it in its voice, it was desperate. Was I really that yearning? What did I even yearn? Oh yeah... love, affection. Those things were what I was missing.

That was what my past self wanted... Even now I have gotten want I wanted... but that was what I wanted in the past, and it wants it from me. But it knows it won't get it if I still exist, so it either wants to take what is already mine, or destroy it.

And I won't let it do that.

I stood up straight, even with the overwhelming pain all around my body. I was sweating intensely, my vision was extremely blurry and I was hyperventilating.

I was in a library. This place looked familiar.

I walked over to a book and took it out. It looked like a book that a 1st grader would read.

I matched up the pieces and eventually figured out I was in the library in the elementary school I was placed in.

I heard laughter coming from my right and there was a group of tall kids bullying a scrawny-looking kid.

I think I remembered what I did here. I simply ignored it and walked away. Then a book fell from the top shelf and hit my head.

Maybe... if I changed it up.

I walked up towards the group of bullies and the kid while holding a hard-cover book in my hand.

"Hey."

The bullies turned towards me and chuckled.

"What is it?" said the tall kid who looked like he was in 3rd grade.

"Mind letting him go?" I said and the other kids laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with them as well.

"Why... are you laughing?" another kid said.

I turned towards him and couldn't help but smile. Even if I tried, I still couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"Hey, what the hell are you smiling for?"

The tall kid dropped the scrawny kid down and walked up towards me. He was probably twice the size of me but I was laughing and didn't really care.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

I don't know why I said that but it just felt natural. The tall kid burst into laughter and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll come next week and pick on you. How does that so-?"

Wham!

The kid stumbled to the left and fell on the ground.

I don't need him to pick on me. I remember clearly. He was the jock I had brutally fought back in high school. He never changed as he proceeded. He was the same old faggot he was currently. Guess I can just hurt him as he is right now. That is what my former self wants, isn't it?

He wanted to release his bloodlust, and he wanted to release it on me. He wanted to break me so I would willingly hand over my body, but that won't happen if he can't hurt me.

All I have to do is change exactly what I did during this event. And so, this is exactly what I'll do.

I'll do exactly what I should've done instead of what I shouldn't have done.

The rest of the bullies rushed towards me but I managed to dodge them and smacked them hard with the book I was holding.

In the end when I was done, the book was stained with just a small trace of blood. But I knew I had done enough to send them to the hospital for a week.

I looked back at the scrawny kid and he yelped back in fear. I walked up towards him and dropped the book in his hand.

"Have fun with the rest of your life."

I said and the kid nodded.

Then everything went black.

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"NOOOOOO!!!"

I woke up to hear a kid yell.

I stood up and I was standing in a snow-covered field again.

"So I'm back. That scream, I bet it was-"

It was my former self alright, and he looked a bit different. This time the veins around his eyes were black and his hair was long and white.

I had gone through a few more events which were life-threatening and managed to get away. I bet he is pissed that I was able to escape.

"You... how the hell did you..."

He was actually flustered. He was panicking and his breathing ragged.

"Don't think this is over yet. You only have 5 minutes left. In those 5 minutes, you won't be able to get your body back and I will take over."

"That is where you are wrong."

My former self glared at me and got into a fighting stance.

"This..."

"-Is the only way," I said, finishing his sentence and also getting into a fighting stance.

We exchanged a few glares. The surrounding snow melted and the snow in the air changed into water. In a matter of seconds, the snow was replaced with rain.

"Come on!" my former self yelled and I charged forward.

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