Chapter 5. Denial

"No." I said while tears fell down my eyes.I was not loud, but he heard me clear enough. "It can't be."

He looked at me with anguish. I could have sworn that this expression would never fit on a person with such a hard face, a hard heart and no sense of emotion at all. What did Lenny see in him?

But that didn't matter. Because right now it was me and him. My drive connecting with his. My need to be by him. To protect him. To care for him. To love him. It was all so much. The feeling was the strongest one yet. But my mind was rejecting the thought at every instance. Fighting my heart and my body from wanting to be with this person. Because it remembered. My mind remembered what he did, how he did it and what he took away from me.

Then again, Lenny came to mind. She was in love with him. It was clear.

This was not supposed to be happening.

"Are you okay? You look pale." Roman said worriedly, rudely interrupting my thoughts and the absolute confusion running wild in my head. Was he really worried about me?

"Please leave." I said, voice small and defeated.

With one last look at me, he turned to leave.

I lay on the tiny bed crying. Too much had happened and this became too much a burden to bear. Roman, the one person I despised with my being, was my mate. But I knew my hatred for him would forever stand. I could never betray myself and my parents with desire.

My wolf did not agree with me though. She yearned his closeness.

As for me, I could handle hating him consistently and being away from him. At least for now.

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Roman ( Point of View )

She's my mate. Arlene is my mate.

I didn't understand how this could be possible. Seeing her cry because of that had hurt me. Seeing her cry at all, hurt me. I understoond why she told me to leave, but it hurt so bad that she did.

Since our last confrontation before today, I had sleepless nights. I knew deep down that I had made a mistake by killing her father that day, and I was not the type to regret my decisions. Especially concerning rogues.

I saw in her eyes that day that she had not understood what was going on with her dad. Even after all the confusion, I made it worse by killing her father in presence and letting Drew do the same to her mother before she could attack me.

I admit, it was harsh on her part and so her desire to hate me despite being her mate right now was only a fair reaction. But I know she would never believe that I hated myself, especially now, for what I did. For ruining her life.

The worst part was that she would never accept me as her mate. And right now, I wanted that more than ever.

"Are you alright?" Lenny asked me noticing the change in my mood.

I guess she had been waiting for me in my room.

"Yes." I responded pensively. "Can I just be alone for a while please?" I finished.

With that, she nodded and left the room.

I felt awful. Lenny and I had a great relationship ever since she joined the pack. It's something I could not help myself with. Lenny was incredibly beautiful. Her fair dark skin, he big grey eyes, her soft pink soft lips and the big beautiful hair. Nothing would have kept me away from that. More so, after I got to know her, I discovered just how beautiful a person she was inside too.

She had lost her mate and I never thought I would meet mine soon. So I thought a good distraction would be nice after a long day of pack work, and she happened to be the perfect distraction.

Days had gone by and I had done nothing but avoid Lenny. I didn't know how to tell her, especially considering she and Arlene were good friends and they got along so well. As a matter of fact, I had never known Arlene so well but this was the first time I ever saw her socialise with anyone so well.

I had decided to see Arlene today because I hadn't been able to sleep ever since I had discovered that she is my mate. I knew now more than ever, we had to straighten things out even if that meant I had to force her to talk to me.

I walked to the little compound of our cells practicing word for word what I would say to her. This was much harder than I thought it would be.

As I approached her cell, I saw from a distance that it was ajar. Lenny's voice was clear from here and I could hear them both were talking.

"He's not well. He hasn't been since he last visited you." Lenny spoke out in worry. "Did something happen? Something I should know about?" She went on and asked Arlene.

"Uhh no. Of course not." Arlene lied. "Nothing I know about." The words came out in hesitation.

Bad liar, I thought to myself.

"Something just doesn't fit right." Lenny continued dismissing Arlene's scared tone.

Did she really believe she could hide this from Lenny?

"Arlene is my mate." I retorted while I entered the little room.

Lenny's big dark grey eyes got even bigger with astonishment.

Arlene chocked. It sounded like she was close to crying. Again. She looked up at me with disgust.