Toxic 2

"I know it all, what dirty thing did that bastard do to you, Neil?" Neil tensed with piercing words that escaped from Skylar's lips on the other end, his chest seemed to be slashed by the fact that Skylar said he was dirty.

Why does Skylar blame Science first? While Neil asked and let it happen.

"If, it's Sain you mean. He didn't do anything. Why do you blame him, I'm the one you should blame. I'm here the dirty person you mean if you can see it clearly. Only Sain is always there to help me through the bad times. this difficult time, he killed those people to avenge what they did to me. He's the one who's always been there, how can you blame him."

"You're wrong Neil," Skylar shouted from across the phone.

Neil shook his head vigorously and knew that Skylar couldn't see him. "It's true that I'm at fault here. Only Sain never blames me."

"What's the matter with you? You keep defending him."

"I should be the one asking? Why are you calling all of a sudden just to make fun of how dirty I am," said Neil passionately making him gasp for breath.

"It's not like that Neil. Do you understand what he's doing isn't good? He's taking advantage of you."

Neil massaged his forehead which suddenly felt throbbing. "I know you are ashamed to have a brother like me, who has gone astray."

"Neil!"

Neil took a deep breath. "So, who was born first. Me or you?" cut Neil quickly before Skylar could utter a sentence.

"What?" Skylar asked rhetorically looking surprised by the question that came out of Neil's mouth.

"Who was born first? Me or you?" asked Neil again.

"So you know." The low voice from Skylar on the other end made a sense of disappointment drag its way into his chest cavity. Then Skylar replied, "I'm the last one."

Neil rubbed his face, his days were so tiring. "Why didn't you ever tell me about Skylar? I never knew that I had other members besides my father."

"I couldn't say at the time."

"You never know how I go through each day remembering what I forgot alone when dad was busy at work. I don't even know myself. It's almost crazy or maybe I'm crazy." Neil let out the anger that was buried deep in his heart. His nails had already stuck between the skin of his thighs until they turned white making a new wound that Neil had longed for.

Neil continued, "I used to wonder why you hated me so much at school, all the time. I searched for what exactly was my fault, every time I saw you and now I know. My mistake was being his twin, your brother, and sharing a womb with you. It was the biggest mistake of my life. That's why I'm sorry. Don't worry, Skylar not only do you hate me, but I hate myself more than you can ever imagine Skylar."

"Neil—"

Neil couldn't help but roll his eyes and he quickly cut in, "Since you're my sister, can I ask you a favor just this once, Skylar?"

"Don't you dare say that," Skylar growled from the other side?

Neil chuckled painfully, his hand raised to wipe away the tears he didn't want to fall. He had gone too far, he knew that badmouthing and demeaning himself was the biggest mistake.

"Please take care, Father for me. After I take Lia and Faiz back, don't ever contact me again, and you and dad should forget about me from now on. It's not a hard job considering I'm really bad, useless, and easy to forget."

"What nonsense are you saying, Neil?" The anger that came out of Skylar's words made Neil's chest tighten. He just found out that Skylar is his twin and he too must quickly part with him. However, it all had to be done. Neil couldn't allow his family to be ashamed of what they didn't do.

"See you." Neil quickly turned off his phone. She was crying silently and didn't want any sound to escape her lips. It was hurting himself so much that when he should have let go of his emotions, Neil had to push him hard.

Neil was now sitting on his bed, his legs pulled tight against his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. Thinking back on his conversation with Michelia and Skylar made a feeling of intense panic well up in his chest again.

Neil continued like that until he skipped his lunch and dinner and fell asleep.

***

"Hold this knife tightly in your hand." A sharp sound stopped Neil's movement to place the knife on the table. Terrified fear made his body tremble, he stood stiffly staring at the knife in his hand. "Grab the sharp part."

"But—"

"I said, grab it cut your hand. Make a lot of blood for me." This time the voice sounded loud in the closed room.

Neil took a deep breath. He was very scared and wanted to run away from here. Neil gulped watching how the monster was grinning as he gripped the knife tightly in his hand, he gasped in pain as if the knife had cut him open. Blood dripped out, staining the floor covered with hairy carpet drop by drop.

The monster gripped his wrist tightly with an angry growl. "Don't let the drops go to waste, you will destroy my ritual."

Neil held back the tears that were about to escape his lips. The knife fell from his hand leaving a painful throb in Neil's palm.

All for Skylar. Neil reminded it constantly in his mind to stay afloat for a long time.

"Don't expect you to be able to complain," he snapped making Neil flinch. Neil's hand was pulled and pressed roughly against the mirror's surface to smear the blood that came out with an increasingly stinging pain until Neil finally screamed loudly because he couldn't hold it in anymore. He roared through the room with his voice of pain. His cheeks were wet with tears that Neil couldn't hold back anymore.

"Pain? This is how your life can be useful. Even Skylar runs from you and is ashamed to have a twin-like you. You bastard."

***

Neil woke up from his sleep when he heard the ringing sound of his cell phone. Neil rubbed his face as he dreamed it back. He quickly ran out of the room when Sain sent a short message.