706. Chapter 706

After Valkyrie

Episode 6.01

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Charley don't surf, and I don't own either Castle or Gotterdamerung. Rating: K. Time: See above.

Kate had left the hospital where her fiancé was recovering only after being assured that he was well on the road to recovery, and being told that, Federal agent or not, she had to leave. She returned to her apartment, and worn out from the strain of the case, had collapsed onto her bed, fully clothed. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

"Arise Brunnhilde Beckett. I have come for you."

She sat up, wondering where she was. She looked about and saw she was near a wide river and just outside of a cave. A large, heavily muscled man was approaching her. The wind blew from him to her and she knew at once he hadn't washed his leather pants or his chain mail shirt in quite a while.

"Who are you?" She asked, pinching her nostrils closed against the stench.

"I am Ragnarok Demming, and I will be your husband."

"Fat chance, Demming. " She said haughtily. "I'm already spoken for. Move along, nothing to see here."

Demming laughed evilly. "Ho, ho, yourself, gorgeous. I have a magical potion that will make you forget everything." He held up a bottle and a strange paper wrapped object.

"Be serious. You expect me to forget about my one and done? What is that stuff anyway?"

"I got a bottle of 151 proof Cuban rum and some Maui wowie. Have a sip and a puff and you'll be mine."

"You're going to try to roofie me and then claim I agreed to it? No way." Beckett said, searching in her lovely, chain mail dress for the Glock sword she carried. "Damn it! I must have left it in my steel bustier."

As Ragnorak advance on her, Brunnhilde Beckett turned and ran. "Don't run, darling. You'll like it."

But, the fleet footed Beckett soon outdistanced Ragnarok who was weighted down with his armor and weapons.

She hid behind a tree and watched Ragnorak trudge away. "Like that stuff would work on the Wildest Wild Child at Stanford." Then she felt a hand on her perfect rump. She whirled around to find a familiar face grinning at her.

"Josh?"

He nodded. "That muscle bound oaf was no good for you anyway. No better than that scribbler. Join me in matrimony and we can rule the world. We'll try overrunning it with military might first, and if that doesn't work after a couple of tries, we'll switch to selling everyone on the planet cars that looks like a bug. One way or another, we'll rule."

"Let me explain this to you. I'll use simple one syllable words so you can grasp the concept. I have a fiancé, a man that I love. I will not marry you. Ever."

"But we'reperfecttogether." Josh said.

"What? What did you say?" Kate was puzzled.

"It's just the way we Germans speak. We string words together to make one long word, like panzerkampfwagen for tank. Cool, huh?"

"Would you like me to say helicopter in German?" Beckett asked coyly.

"Oh, baby, I love it when you talk Teutonic to me." A smile came over Josh's features as he anticipated what was to come.

Kate smiled, approached him and then kicked him….right between the old uprights. As Josh rolled around in agony, Beckett started to run again, easily outdistancing him.

Reaching the river, Beckett stopped. She took off her chain mail dress and revealed that she was wearing a chain mail bikini under it. "I should be able to swim in this." She said, testing the waters with her toe.

"Hold it right there, lady." Said a stern voice.

Turning around she found herself face to face with a stern looking man wearing a stern looking dark chain mail suit, a stern looking white chain mail shirt and a stern looking conservative striped tie. "I couldn't help noticing your stern."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "You went through all of that to set up that joke?" She said angrily.

"We Feds never get any funny lines." He explained. "Anyway swimming in the river is forbidden. I'm going to have to take you in."

"I wasn't swimming. I just stuck my toe in the water. Jeez Louise, no wonder you guys never get any funny lines."

"Any penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the offense." He quoted.

"That's from the Uniform Code of Military Justice. I'm a civilian." Beckett complained.

"Tell it to the judge."

"That's me." Said a woman's voice.

"Rachel? Rachel McCord? Thank god. Can you please get me out of this? I haven't done anything."

"Do you have an attorney?" Rachel asked.

A large, grey furry biped, looking the worse for wear, stepped out from behind a tree. "I am, Your Honor. Wile E. Coyote, Esquire."

"I'm represented by Wile E. Coyote?" Beckett cried. "That sounds like something Castle would come up with. Do you have a zombie or a mummy as a partner? And where did you go to law school?"

"Acme Law School."

Kate rolled her eyes. "That's crazy.

"We'll be pleading insanity, Your Honor." Wile E. said to the judge.

"You're crazy, all right." MCCord snapped.

"I'd like a second opinion!" Insisted Wile E.

"Okay, you're ugly, too."

Wile E. was put in a straight-jacket by a murder of crows, a congregation of alligators, a shrewdness of apes, a charm of finches, an array of hedgehogs, a scold of jays, a leap of leopards, a parliament of owls, and a skulk of foxes. In a nod to Shakespeare, they exit, pursued by a bear, headed for the seacoast of Bohemia.

"Guilty, guilty, guilty." McCord said. "Next case."

"Wait! You haven't heard my defense."

"This is Germany." Mc Cord said. "Haven't you heard of the systems of law around here?"

"No." Beckett said, not sure she wanted to.

"In the English system, everything is permitted except that which is expressly forbidden. In the German system, everything is forbidden that is not expressly permitted. In the Russian system, everything is forbidden, including that which is expressly permitted. In the Italian system, everything is permitted, especially that which is forbidden."

"Which system does this court use?" Beckett demanded.

"Why, all of them." McCord frowned, wondering how anyone could miss that.

Then, far off, she heard the sound of music. It grew louder and louder.

"What's that music?" Asked McCord.

"The Ride of the Valkyries." Beckett said. "No, it can't be."

But it was. There coming in low, out of the rising sun was a squadron of helicopters. As they circled above the makeshift court, one helicopter swirled downwards and hovered just above the river. As Beckett had expected, a ruggedly handsome man dropped out of the helicopter, landing on a surfboard. He paddled in to shore.

"Castle, is that you?"

"Of course, my little gremmie. Surf's up. Cowabunga, dudes and dudettes. Let's blow this popstand." He reached out and took her hand and pulled her onto his surfboard. In no time at all, Beckett was hanging ten and shooting the curl. She thought that was a little odd, since rivers rarely have waves large enough to surf. They'll CGI them in later. She thought.

Then she woke up and found herself standing with her toes on the edge of the bed. She got down and started to undress to get ready for bed.

"I never had dreams like that before I met Castle." She smiled as she said that.