Adachi's Roses

Adachi to Shimamura: Adachi's Roses

When I got out of work I had been thinking: it would be a good idea to take a different path to the apartment. And I decided that day was today.

While walking, I realized my mind was almost silent. All of the noises in the street, the steps people take, the humming undertone of the motors of all of the vehicles, birds, merchants--were amusing in some way.

I could feel every step, every breath, every second lasting an eternity and my senses were drowned by the normal city life making it seem as if time were going really slow and fast at the same time.

At some point when my mind came back I remembered something I heard in school: "time is relative".

No wait, I'm sure that's not what the term meant!

While walking, I almost was stunned. I tried seeing if the  people that surrounded me felt the same way as I did.

I thought it would be obvious by looking only at their faces. Maybe a concerned expression was all I needed to know that I wasn't only one having trouble with things right now.

Now being conscious of how I was simply standing there, difficult as it might seem, I tried to make it apparent that I was waiting for something. But to whom? I thought that the people around me were looking at me that just made me feel more self-conscious.

My feet started to hurt. I had been standing there looking around for nothing in particular.

What am I doing, I whispered to myself, not knowing whether I even wanted an answer or not.

Adachi was busier with work these past weeks, so our time together was lessened quite a bit. Even if I knew this was the reason for my strange behavior it didn't help me deal with it anyways.

Eventually, after dealing with the mess my head was in, I found myself in front of the park I wanted to pass by first to get home.

Just at the entrance you could see how its entrance was really well  decorated definitively was better than the others, how did I compare it?

It was a good story, I had told Adachi I had wanted to go on a date, but that I wasn't sure where to go as I was not familiar with the city.

For some reason, when we were younger, Adachi was really good at taking me places. Something told me that she just prepared herself before the date and memorized the whole area. I thought it was difficult for her to do that, but knowing her I still had my suspicions. I told her I was going to the bathroom and I did so. But I made sure I could still see her from a short safe distance. She pulled her laptop out of her bag and went straight to the maps application, got her head really close to the screen and took an old book and started scribbling things in it. It said "note" but I couldn't quite see what the first part said from where I was. She then started passing her hand over the screen and whispering to herself; she's probably memorizing the names of the landmarks of the city. She then wrote it all into the book and closed it really fast.

We went to some ice cream shops days later. I asked her if she knew other ice cream shops nearby and she said to my surprise, she just knew all the stores there, all of them; that was crazy!

The point is that by seeing Adachi do these things, I learned to do them myself. I began using the maps application which eventually led me to this park.

I picked this specifically because I had seen its color from the satellite; that I thought, made it better from the others, they only had a green on them; I assume it was a patch of grass. Not that it had other options really to base my guess on.

I continued walking into the park.

I saw the people there doing the usual things: people having picnics, people walking in and out… and there was someone far away painting; it reminded me of Tarumi. Speaking of her, I haven't seen her in a while.

Knowing that everything was in the place where it was supposed to be made me feel calm. Adachi will have normal working hours and everything will come back to how it was.

Huh? Roses?

I took a look around me, and roses were the only thing that wasn't in the park. I mean, a lot of flowers were there, but you know what I meant.

I got really nervous about roses, I remembered Adachi had come at me with  one clamped between her lips. She tried to be romantic for once but she froze like that for a while and she couldn't keep the act. She broke down  in a mix of embarrassment and… well I don't really know but it was really cute; I was amused by that.

Now everytime I see a rose I kind of panic a bit. I tried avoiding the rose post along the way. I even started walking while covering my vision with my hands so I could focus on the path. But

Ugh.

For some reason, the majority of the park had an artificial lake running across the middle with a really nice bridge hovering over it. And yeah, there was only one bridge. While making my way to it, I couldn't help but to think: What would happen if there was an accident nearby. Would people just jump and swim to the other side while everyone is stuck at the pretty bridge?

I didn't really like how mad I got when she wasn't nearby(Adachi) but the other reason was that being only one bridge to cross it became the perfect trap for people like me, I wanted to get home and so I had to resist.

OH HOH! What do we have here? Said the rose seller.

He was wearing a suit, black pants and a very white T-shirt that seemed to be too tight for him. Anyone looks good if you wear it as tight as this seller does to be honest.

While he spoke he did all types of movements that honestly rubbed me the wrong way, "Hi" was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

If Adachi were in this situation she'd probably would've jumped off of the bridge to match the energy of this guy.

Well milady, Look at these roses! He said while gesturing his hands around the massive quantity of flowers he had in his post. I wonder if he specifically chose that suit to contrast with the redness of the roses.

Of all kinds! And that one you love is waiting for you!

For me all of the roses looked the same. I guess you could also assume people always had someone they love, a pretty good selling tactic, huh!

So well, how many do you want? Or how many does SHE want?

How do you kno--. I was cut short by the eloquent seller. How did he know that it was… well a she?

Oh your aura screams loudly of love, I can see it, THROUGH YOUR EYES!!! He started spinning as if he were a videogame character. He really knew how to get the most of this spot.

I don't really know… it's getting late so I have to go. I said while slowly walking away in a desperate attempt to get away from this situation.

Wait!

It was so loud that I couldn't help but look back.

With one hand hovering over the roses and the other covering his eye, he was also smiling. He knew. At this point I would probably end up buying a rose; his smile indicates that he was aware of that.

He shoved his hand in the bunch of flowers and sent one aloft. It was convenient that any current prevented the rose from falling to the river.

Here you go, he bowed and the rose fell in his hand. It was extending towards me. He was not just eloquent but dexterous.

And as I said, I ended up buying it.

I really didn't want to buy some, but I guess he's really good at his job. I wonder, with his charisma, he could do so much more with other job opportunities. Maybe he had fun doing that. I guess that's the path he decided to take. Not that I care. No.

Well, I know my path is a straight line to the end of the park, and with every step that I take closer to the exit I could hear the sound of the city getting louder by the second. I held the rose, and I once again could feel time slowing down in a weird way.

Roses, huh? I think I remember something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was at a time when I hadn't taken a cold approach to people; it was right after I started primary school.

Tarumi had gone to another school and I didn't really know what to do with the free time I had. School wasn't that hard; even if you were in the middle of a class you could not pay attention, and it wouldn't matter.

 If the teacher asked you a question you could simply answer by logic. I knew that 1+1 was two and that carried me pretty far honestly.

But that was a bittersweet memory: one that stuck with all of this time; and when I saw roses I came back to thinking about this:

Hey, Shimamura, do you want to play with us? A group of kids came to my direction. They were three. One in front, the other right behind him--almost hiding--and the other one was looking in another direction as if he wanted something else to do.

Ah… I don't… know.

Mm? What? Are you okay?

Let her be; she's been acting weird since she came here. Said the second kid hiding behind his friend.

Her acting weird is the reason we should help her, he whispered to the other. I could hear it although I appreciate the intention.

No, thank you. I'll stay here for a while.

I see. if you want you can play with us!

And with that the little trio wandered off.

That had become the first time I declined an invitation to play with the others. When Tarumi was around we just started playing like it was the most natural thing to do. There wasn't an agreement; we just played for hours.

That being my first experience in school, I felt confident that most of the people here were good people. So one day I tried to play with another group instead of sitting alone during recess.

Hey! Can I play with you guys? I asked while gently waving my hand.

The group of three look at each other, confused, as though they were asking what to do.

They started whispering things among them and...

HaHa! I see. Of course. Sit right there. Shimamura is your name right? he inquired while smiling at me and pointing to the ground where they wanted me to sit.

I didn't realize it back then, but that was what a fake smile looked like.

And what are we playing then? I asked, innocently.

I was used to seeing interactions with people as flowers. Friendship was like roses.

The reason this rose was given to me wasn't for how pretty its petals were. That was just a part of an illusion. The true reason was for me to bleed with the thorns. But despite knowing that, I let my hand slowly wrap around it. l could feel the thorns of the rose going deeper into my hand as I did it, reaching very deep to places I didn't know could hurt. The reason why I didn't let go of it was because I considered that I haven't had roses before; and when I was given one even if it was a hoax, the truth is that this rose was the only thing I had. And it was the only thing I could hang on to.

I was kind of selfish at the moment. I didn't even consider my relationship with Tarumi. At some point I felt like a completely new person, and my memories of before didn't feel like mine at all.

That was the reason I grew disinterested in relationships, of all of them even. I just didn't know what I was seeing, everything felt so weird to interact with. What was the purpose of everything that had happened?

At some point everything felt pointless; but I wasn't mad about it. It helped me have a different view of my life and the things that surrounded me. My decision was to deal with it but now allow myself to care at all.

That really worked for a while. No one seemed to notice. And I was pretty happy with the results.

But well, that changed at some point. She changed it. Adachi was the one that changed my world.

And here I was. Slowly walking out of a park holding a rose without thorns. She helped me understand that not all roses had to hurt. A tiny smile was on my face. Some roses felt different and had other colors. Adachi was almost a rainbow: mostly for how her face changed colors but how my life changed so much since I knew her.

I'm so grateful to her. So grateful to her.

Now at the exit of the park, I almost felt like time was changing again. But now it was for the better. Knowing that if I don't have Adachi by my side right now, she'll come back. I know she wants to see me as much as I do. I'm so grateful, Adachi, grateful for you.

I kept that smile until I got home. I felt relieved because I knew that Adachi would be there. She always is.

I slowly open the door and...

Surprise, Shimamura! There she was. I didn't really know why I even worried. She had a bouquet of roses, and was smiling at me.

I worked extra hours yesterday so I could surprise you, here. She said before handing me the roses. She had become more confident these past years. And when she was giving me surprises, she was full  of energy.

I could feel tears rolling in my cheeks as I received the beautiful bouquet.

I'm so grateful. I extended my hand that had the rose I had bought.

No, it's ok. Keep all of the- Wait that one is different from the others. Did you buy it for me?

I started laughing. I just couldn't help but laugh. It was different, she said. Like the seller, she did investigate roses before giving me this, didn't she.

I'm so grateful, Adachi.

The rest of the noon became a blur. But the last thing I remember before going to sleep is Adachi putting two roses in a vase. She was right: my rose and hers were different.