Chapter 17 When darkness surround you

"Good morning Sleepyhead." Achilles sings and the sound pierce through my ears, I am awake, but actually letting them know that I am awake seems to be impossible. "Here is some coffee." He continues and I can hear movement surrounding me, there must be another person in the room, Mia?

"No changes?" I hear Angela's voice when I try once more to force open my heavy eye lids. Failing at another attempt, again. Why does opening my eyes seem so impossible?

"He hasn't woken yet, but according to the physician, it won't be long. There is no long-term damage and, to be honest, I prefer him like this for now.." Achille admits to her. "You know if he wakes up he won't rest or even attempt to take it easy and that is what he needs. He needs to recover completely." His voice sounds almost breaking. I am not that fragile, but he quickly recovers. "How are you doing with the list of files? There have been a lot of clients and with everything going on these past weeks we fell behind. He is not going to be very happy if we couldn't even keep the business float."

He was right! What the hell has been keeping them busy for weeks? How long have I been in this state and why the fuck can I not open my eyes? "Don't you worry your sweet ass about the list? I know what is expected of me and why do you think Ben contracted me? I will tell you why; because I am that good and never will I ever fall behind on my work. You just concentrate on doing Ben's part in all of this which is approving clients and their orders as well as getting his men to do their jobs." She bites back. "...and maybe take some of the stuff home. It is starting to look like an office and not a hospital room."

Hospital? Fuck! I wilfully force my eyes open, but immediately shut them again and repeat my actions, but this time a little slower so my eyes can adjust to the blinding white light piercing at my retinas.

"Ciao." Angela smiles hovering her face over mine when she becomes aware of my open eyes. "It is about darn time, Ben! You scared me to death! Do you even know how worried I was? How worried we all have been? God, I am just glad to see you awake." She drag her middle and forefinger from my forehead around my face to my cheek, before placing a soft kiss on my head and I could see her eyes welling up even though she quickly wiped at them trying to hide her vulnerability.

"I" The sound came out hoarse through my scratchy throat which I clear before trying again. "I am fine," I assure her bending my arms at my sides to support my weight pushing myself up on the bed and into n sitting position. "Put this down." I tap against the cot sides of the bed while taking in my surroundings.

Angela was right on the right side of my bed was a whole office setup. Over bed tables that I believe were meant for other patients were stationed around Achille covered in papers, folders, and files, none of them even supposed to be this exposed if I may add. On the ground stood some boxes that I assume contained much more of the same contents. I can only assume that this office for rent is not very welcoming to the nurses and that they are probably getting tipped a lot more than their normal income to look to the other side and say nothing. This might be an office with the same price as one in New York with a good view of the city.

On my other side, there was much less activity going on which kind of made something in me feeling a little lonely. There is only a locker-type bedside table decorated with my watch, a few bottles, and what I presume is my new cell phone. Against the white wall on a rack stood a few flower bouquets that brought some colour to the room, but no sign of Mia. No visited seat, no trace of her being here, nothing. Maybe Achille was keeping her away for her safety. She is probably at home with men protecting her. After all, there must be some kind of thing happening for me to wake up here.

"What happened?" I question Achille. The last thing I remember was waiting for Mia to finish up in the shower. Wait... Did something happen in the house? To Mia? Is that why she is not present? Did someone come into the house while I was there? So busy concentrating on Mia that I couldn't even acknowledge that there was someone else in the house? I will never forgive myself. How could I be so fucking careless? I sit up quickly placing my arm rapidly over my chest as n sharp pain thrust through my chest.

"Take it easy! You were in an accident, brother. They pulled you out with two bullets in your chest. You are lucky to be alive. Now keep it that way!"

"Luckily for us, you have a very protective Guardian angel because as Achille said, the fact that you are alive is a Goddamn miracle!" Angela pipes in.

"Where is Mia?" My concern for her heightens. Was she in the car with me when we crashed? She must have been. I wouldn't leave her alone. She had to be. Where was she?

"We tell you that you were in an accident and got shot and the first thing you ask is about her? Not who tried to kill you?" Angela scoffs like a teenager. I have never seen her behave like this before. She must have been traumatized by all of this.

"I know who would try to kill me! What I don't know is if Mia is okay!" I almost shout. Why do they always question my authority? Things need to change. I am their boss, not their friend.

"Ben." My brother breathes my name sighing. "We can't seem to find her." He moves his head from left to right and then back again.

"What do you mean you cannot find her? Was she in the car with me?" I rip the intravenous line from my arm tearing the skin and immediately blood start to trickle down my arm. I swing my legs off the bed to get up causing the gown to fly open revealing much more than I intended to, but I couldn't care any less... I needed to get some fresh air and think. The room was too small and all the papers and people were clouding my space.

"Ben, you better calm down and listen to me." He rounds the bed taking a stand in front of me again while Angela made it her only job to stop the river of blood flowing down my arm. She raises my arm while using some tissue paper dabbing at it and keeping pressure on the wound site to stop the bleeding. "The car that crashed into you came from the right side. If she was in the car the chances of her surviving the crash is next to none and if by some miracle she did survive she somehow took off. How and if that was even possible we don't know brother. There is no sign of her in that car with you. The fact is this; she either was never in that car with you or the people that shot you took her." He keeps both his hands on my shoulders in a tight grip in a way of informing me that I cannot leave or at least should not, but we both knew that was not happening.

"Then we need to find her!" I push past him taking back my arm from Angela and stride towards the small cupboard in search of some clothes.

"She might not even have been in the car, Ben," Angela interjects placing her hand on my shoulder forcing me to turn around and face her. She smells of candy apples and spice, I have always connected that smell with an independent and strong woman because of her, but after today I might change my mind. Although everyone can sometimes become vulnerable I guess. Haven't I just been the best example of that these days? I ignore my mental assault writing her actions off as a result of a semi-traumatic event. "Let me." She urges handing me a navy blue dress shirt with short sleeves and matching dark blue buttons when I start to struggle my arm out of a very uncomfortable and revealing hospital gown. Luckily for me her over-eager hands are there to catch the material as it falls to the floor, keeping everything closed from my waist down except of course for my naked buttocks facing the wall.

"Where the fuck is she?" I raise my voice and as a result, Angela's body goes rigid for a quick second while my hoarse voice vibrates through my burning chest. I cannot help the feeling of something that is not in place. Could it be possible that the two of them have been lying to me? Was Mia in the car with me like I initially thought or has she decided to disappear? Either way, I need to find her to know that she was okay, even if she was okay without me. The stabbing pain of the two holes in my chest turns my thoughts darker as I struggle to pull my arms through the shirt's armhole. If I was shot and Mia was in the car, what would that have meant for her? The mere thought of her injured or worse... dead, brought bile to my mouth.

"We are doing everything we can to track her down. It has not been either easy or cheap." Achilles informs me like I would care what it was costing to find her. She was worth much more than all the money I have ever possessed. The money I can make more of... Mia... "We had to fly in a lot of men for protection and to infiltrate not only the Gambinos but also the Colombos in our search for Mia. We are looking at all points of view and investigating all scenarios. At least both the Gambinos and Colombos are under the impression that you are dead and that leaves us with an advantage."

"Dis you check her parent's house?" I question taking the black suit pants which Angela feeds me.

"That was the first place we checked. We have people watching the house at all times. If she as much as passes by the house we will know." He tries to soothe me as I pull up the pants rounding the shirt at my waist.

"The hospital?" I continue my line of interrogation, slipping on one shoe after the other, not without difficulty and discomfort while Angela buttons up the shirt hiding any signs of bandages or wounds.

"Of course."

"Her old apartment?" I glare at Angela as she finishes her job with the buttons, straightening my collar and landing a black tie. She knew what I liked and she has to be the one who got these clothes for me because Achille would have kept me in the gown if he could have.

"Brother..." Achilles breathes. "Do you think that she ran? Do you think if she escaped or if she wasn't with you that she wouldn't have come to see you a long time ago?" No! He doesn't know her as I do. She changes her mind as quickly as her eyes hide her feelings. "I saw how she looked at you." He adds. Yes, sometimes with worry and other times with anger. She was never really happy and why wouldn't you take the chance of running when you can if you were kept against your own free will?

"Maybe she doesn't even know I am in here." I bark. How would she know? I had to hold on to the hope of there being a very reasonable explanation for all of this that doesn't include Mia being deceased because I will not do this without her. How am I supposed to live If I am unable to ever see those sparkling green eyes or tuck another curl behind her ear? To make up for all the bad I did?

"She would have visited her mother." He continues.

"Then I better find her." I slightly push past Angela who has been very quiet all of a sudden and exit the room.

"Benvenuto." Achilles grabs me from behind by my shoulders. "I am not talking to my boss now. I am talking to my brother. Please just come back inside and listen to me. You owe me that much." He plays the brotherly card. I did owe him that much and so much more. He was my lifeline and saved my life a few times too many as well.

"I need to find her," I whisper once I turned to my brother, unable to hide the defeat in my voice.

"I know." My brother nods pulling me into a quick hug. "And we will." He promises. "Now come back to the room before anyone sees you." His appearance fluctuates back to normal as he waits for me to go inside first.

After an hour of sitting through what mostly felt like a half-ass board meeting to inform me about everything that wasn't Mia I was irritated and I have had enough. I wasn't worried that Achille or any one of my people wasn't able to successfully complete the tasks they usually do. I knew they were competent.

I also assumed that everything would go on without me and didn't stand still; if something were to ever happen to me my brother would be in charge. He knew this, everyone knew this and that is exactly why he is always part of the decisions and tasks.