Among Stars - End

There was a yell, a happy one, as force wrapped around my body. Staining it with an evil that not even I could resist. Trying, oh so trying, to force my body to accept her advances.

And the worst thing… even worse than what she had done to me the previous night. Was that it was working.

Whatever she had done, whatever she had placed within my body, That substance… that drug. It had weakened my will against hers. Let her take advantage of me and take my purity. The one that had been guarded so heavily, so much so that not even my betrothed had come close.

But that was because I could trust her, because I knew that she was a good person that I let her that close.

Of course, had she forced herself upon my body like this devil had done, I was prepared for that. I was… but not… not for this…

"Congratulations, you got in, with the top score at that." Miss Julian spoke, her voice sickly sweet.

That was good. That was great. The score. It was what Mother wanted. It was what my mother had wanted.

That was good, that was great.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the circling thoughts. Ones that refused to do so. Stilling my body as tears ran down my cheek. As hands groped against my body. Even as the bright day, filled with so many wonderful souls, each telling me of their heavy and great emotions. Even… even…

"Thank… you."

Stiff.

That was the best word to describe it as. My voice, barely human. Devoid of all emotions.

All as I let her take my hand. All as this professor guided me towards some nascent place. Where documents were stored, where my hand was forced to sign. Given a key to a dorm. Where a roommate would be responsible for me. For caring for the needs of the blind. For me.

And when I was left in the lobby, devoid of a guide. I stumbled through stairs. Following the words that had been given to me.

'Two steps this way. Another couple feet until I make it there.'

It was only then. As I stumbled with the key, as the thoughts in my head reached an absolute null. That a flash of light filled my eyes.

Stars that had yet to fade. A room filled with no color. Hallways lined by the same doors, separated by white numbers. One corresponding to the number that I was given. A keyhole the same as the key.

I gasped, trying to hold to that vision, stumbling against the tides of time and trying, oh how I was trying. To make it to the door before my will failed me.

Yet as I stumbled to the ground. My hand letting loose the key that I had held so tightly.

Tears rumbling down my face with such force that I barely felt anything else. A cry that shouldn't have been.

Of all the evil in the world, against the raging tides of hate that I felt to that professor, who had so callously taken what I had considered sacred.

Crying against the wall and cursing my existence. Not even memories of those I had healed. Of pain so great could bring me from that state. 

Not as I felt the keys be placed back in my hand. As gentle hands wrapped against my back and placed me on a couch.

Not as I recoiled against her touch. Not trusting it to be anything but evil. Even as I looked and saw her soul so pure.

So filled with great humility and kindness. 

One that was filled with a great rage. Against something.

But even then I should have known intellectually that she was good. But my body recoiled not wanting to touch another woman. Not after what I had gone through.

And as I was given a cup of tea, treated as well as another could treat me, I did nothing but recoil. I did nothing but cup the tea to my mouth, trying to drown out my sorrows.

Then, and only then, did I finally sober up enough.

"Thank you." I finally spoke. Looking towards her soul with that blank look typical of me. Wiping the tears from my cheek and trying to look as casual as possible.

"It's alright. I- We are to be roommates, there should be some trust."

I nodded.

"If… if it is alright with you may I see your hand."

I needed this. I needed it so badly that I could barely stop the shaking of my voice as I requested something that I usually never would.

Never had I so desperately looked for someone to heal. As I knew they would come to me if they needed. Or I would volunteer my time at some interim hospital. Healing the wounds of those given to me.

But right now… right now there was nothing better for my mental state than to heal someone.

Of all the small ailments that had seeped deep through their body, all throughout their life.

"Are you sure?" She asked, seeming so concerned for me. Yet I still smiled, shaky as it was.

For I truly needed this.

"I- I am… I need this."

I felt as she grew closer to me, seating herself against the couch. Next to me, careful to keep her distance.

"Here." She spoke.

And gratefully, with a smile to match it, I took her hand.

Immediately I gasped, both in pain and relief. 

Aches tore through my body. Trying to tear it apart. Reading the wounds of the one I healed. Of the days that she roamed through forests, through gardens of plants and trees.

Of her falling and healing a bone just a little wrong.

Of the days when sicknesses wreaked havoc among her body, of injuries that never quite healed.

And when I was done, when I let go of her hand. I took a steady breath. Straightening my back, putting on the bravest face that I could.

"Thank you… truly."

Only when she put her hand to my shoulder, almost instinctively, again, I recoiled back in almost physical pain.

"I… am sorry. Please try not to touch me now."

"Of course. But I should be thanking you, not you me." She sounded panicked and I could almost imagine her waving her arms in the air. That face that I saw while healing her smiling nervously.

Just as I did. Roaming around the room. Holding to the wall as I tried to navigate the room that I saw in that brief flash of sight.

Trying to get to the bed I knew to be empty.

Only I was guided. By a kind voice and a hand that didn't quite touch me. Only warmth that faded down to my arm.