Chapter 32: Madhouse

"Some say they believe in the afterlife. Others say it is just a pure fantasy. But today, you have to believe what you are now, it is what you get" I point my dagger on his neck

"I… I..." He faints

Seriously? People from the capital are this weak?

Their movements are quite flashy and sometimes good for distraction but their footings are more unstable than a cripple in this village. One swoop of stomping on ground could make them fall at the right time. Even a cripple in this village can stand for one or two wave but just one and then he falls? This is a joke

"Jehidas, next one is the third place swordmaster. From what we got, his achievements are quite good for dragon or eldritch but judging from his standing in my perspective, his legs are too stiff for a swordsman"

"Name?"

"You will forget it anyway. Dawick Burlot"

"Let's see then."

****

"So you are telling me to fight this man?"

"Yes"

"He looks nothing like a warrior nor even a fencer. I think he is just a weak merchant with a <windbreaker> on his back"

"Sir, he is our strongest examiner" she lowers her hat

"Why did you do that for?"

"He made few thousands retired to farming"

"That must be a joke right?"

"Good luck" she backs away as she close the door

He readies his great sword

"I am not going to use my dagger but my fists. Okay?" I clench my fists

"You must be kidding"

I suddenly rush closer. Closing distance to the point he can't swing his sword to make a hit on me. Longer the weapon, the worse they are at close range. I punch to his left upper arm. He uses his elbow to block my punch and tries to use the hilt to hit my face. I use my shoulder to stop right on his wrist and headbutt right on his nose. This old move would be more deadly if one wears a helmet. Fortunately, I have only enough force to daze him a bit.

Taking that short amount of time, I dislocate his lower jaw to stun him further. Knee on his stomach, elbow on his right upper arm to disarm. Right after the sword is dropped, bodyslam on his ribcage.

This may leave a lot of trauma because he is right now at death's door but not yet dead. He will die only if he doesn't get a good healer to recover him in an hour.

It could be worse if a ground drake fights him like that. Once the big mass hits on his ribcage, he is beyond now.

****

"Why didn't you just make him scared?"

"I did"

"He was at the death's door"

"So what? He would remember not to challenge things that he can't chew on"

"4 broken ribs, dislocated lower jaw, broken dominant upper arm and broken nose. Not to mention lungs were almost half filled with blood"

"..."

"Don't do things like this again please. Just disarm in a flash three times and then they will remember"

"I once fought someone who dropped his spear to punch me, you know?"

"Knock them out cold and they will respect you"

"Did that once, he rematched and I made him fear"

"Beating people up to death's door is not a good option tho. You may have a lot of money to pay for healers but the trauma that healers receive would be a nightmare for them"

"I don't specialize in fear or illusion magic. This is my way of doing things. He was quite good for a dragon rank already"

"Maybe you should only deal with weapons and tools. I beg of you, more than half of our healers would like to fill the retirement paper already. And I convinced them to stay a bit longer" She is keeping her hot temper down

"Fine, should I look around for such a person to replace my job?"

"Yes. Next one will arrive in two weeks"

"In two weeks, I should look for my replacement."

"YES!"

"I am not in a rush then. Because I have another job already"

"Or I can fire Alira"

"Fine, I hate you so much"

"Have a great time"

****

How do I find such a person in two weeks?

Alira can't do it because she may do the same as I do. Kiltan retires already. Not that maniac prince either. Not even that drunk elf nor that stutter elf. Maybe I should get a good war veteran who can train people. Only if he wants to, most war veterans would rather live on a farm, tend chickens or just work as arena announcers.

Curses.

"Old man, what seems to bother you?"

"You damn brat. I have to find another examiner so you won't get fired"

"I don't mind getting fired" As she whistles a small song

"Then people will call me a bad example of parenting right?"

"Fine, fine, I don't want to experience more of your hellish methods. It takes months to recover my bones"

"Do you know anyone then?"

"It seems there is an auntie who is quite okay with her scaring tactic with winds and blades"

"She might kill so no"

"An uncle who has killed thousands of wolves and dozens of dragons"

"Still no"

"A bounty hunter who wants to retire from killing thugs and thieves"

"They are very brutal. But considering the fact that they are experts of humanoid combat, I think it is manageable. His name?"

"Kal"

"Full name?"

"See for yourself. He can be found at the tavern."

"What does he look like?"

"Usually, he is neither big nor a midget. About average. Noticeably is the fact the he is the only lefty among us"

"I will try my best to notice that detail"

****

At night, I arrive at the tavern. Noisy chatter and sharpening blade. All parts of society gather here for different purposes. Wasting, rumors and red black games.

"I think you are cheating"

"How so?"

"The bean is nowhere to be found"

"Let me ask more intelligent person over there"

I come closer after he pointed at me. The game is fairly simple, find the bean in one of three identical cups. Get it right, you get the money. Higher the bid, faster the hands.

"Your bet?"

"One gold" I put the coin right at the cup.

"Well then"

He then puts two copper coins under the other two cups. The hands are quite skillful for a gamemaster like him. One thing I notice is that the coins even jump from one cup to another. He is not cheating but rather sly and tricky.

"Stop" The dumb founded mercenary slams the table

"My guess is that all of the coins beneath the cups turned copper"

"I think my gold coin is here" I point at the left cup

"Well dear customer, it is my loss" He reveals the cup that has my gold coin.

"No need to pay me back. Your hands are simply too fast for untrained eyes"

He also reveals the other two cups are copper. The mercenary stays silent and grunts right after he stands up and walks away.

"There are two kinds of people that can see the trick that I just did. One is the elves with excellent eyesight. Two are trained jesters for a long time. Who are you mister?"

"I happen to watch too many jester's tricks and shows so I can see their hands"

"Another type of people who would lie like that," He smirks

It seems like he is about to pull a knife out. I quickly ready my dagger.

", the odd ones. The shapeshifting drake magician" He attempts to slash my neck. But I back out enough as I kick his hand

Clang! Clang!

"I am not a shapeshifter"

"Well dear customer, indeed you are quite a trained jester. When I usually try to do that, those pesky drakes undo their form and slash my knife in half"

"Who do you work for?"

"We, human, are superior than those inhuman creatures which mimic us"

"Fanatic!"

"No one would bother to stop us or care about this. After all, if you are against us, that would lead others to group up and keep you disciplined. HA! HA! HA!"

"All barks no bite eh? Why don't you just drop dead already?" A deep voice interrupts

"Who dares to intervene this?"

The mug is thrown right on his face. He is dazed. Quickly the smoke comes right after. A choking noise is heard. And when it is settled, the offender is tied. A wax piece with a symbol of a sparrow is put next to his feet.

"Thanks for settling this"

"Who are you?"

"Jehidas"

"Heard about you but unexpectedly look like a humble kind person."

"It is a nice compliment"

"I heard the troubles you have been causing in the guild. I will be the examiner until there is your equal."

"Can I give one gold coin for the trouble?"

"Any income I can find is valuable. With pleasure"

He snatches away the coin and waves.