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Reader I think I should come up with a name for you. Something that isn't too annoying but at the same time outlines how I feel about you. Like Albert, no that's a lame name that anyone would get bored of hearing too often. Then how about…. Snowflake? You could be like a dumb little puppy. No that's not right, puppies are loud and you are a very quiet meat-bag.
Hmm, this is impossible and not because I'm bad with names but because thinking right now is next to impossible. I'm talking to you cocoon girl. I can hear your muffles and it's getting annoying. OOO I GOT IT, hear me cocoon girl your new name is Muffles! A truly inspired name that only I could have thought of. Now that you have a name Muffles shut up and let me think of one for my Reader. Honestly Reader I don't know what it is with people and being so loud before their death.
Listen Muffles I can't hear you, you are literally in a cocoon. And I think they gagged you or maybe not I don't remember or care. The muffled cries of Muffles just got louder and louder. It got so loud that I suddenly decided maybe I should help her. Naturally I decided to help purely out of the goodness of my heart. Ahem..Muffles! I the great sword of…swordieness (not a word Reader, not a word about that introduction.) I have decided to help you and definitely not because I'm getting annoyed by your lackluster attempt at speech. So feel free to be grateful.
Listen closely because I'm only going to tell you this once. The key to escaping spider web is to use a weapon but since you don't have one your fluids will have to do. Anything to dissipate the stickiness really. So start spitting. While she does that I think I've finally figured out your name Reader. It was staring me in the glint of my steel all along. Your nickname shall be Reader! I know it's an incredible name and you are eternally grateful so feel free to send me a postcard in the future exclaiming exactly how thankful and grateful you are for this nickname.
Muffles how do you like the Readers name. She didn't answer on account of the whole being trapped thing but I think I heard her spitting in there. Ha silly meat-bag as if your spit would actually. Just as I was about to make fun of her futile attempt to escape the space around her mouth opened. In the blink of an eye the cocoon around her lit aflame swallowed up by just a small spark that came from her mouth.
Well that's rude, you didn't give me time to insult you and you also didn't inform me that you aren't even human. The nerve of some people to just do whatever they want without any concern for anyone else. You do realize Muffles that I'm trying to write a book here. What am I even saying of course you know this and yet despite already knowing you let me misinform my biggest fan and newly named Reader. Great, just great, now I'm going to have to start all over.
Ok Reader you ever wonder what it would be like-
"Shut up!'' Please quiet down Muffles. I'm trying to start a book here.
"NO I'm sick of you talking. For just two seconds would you just stop!"
Asking me to stop talking is akin to telling me to cease thinking. It's not my fault you can hear everything I say.
"Yes it is! I've never had this problem with anything else."
No duh Muffles, your everyday spoon wasn't made by some magical prick. Nope spoons are made by normal meat-bags in a place that… that umm.. makes spoons I guess? Kind of a weak analogy I know.
It would be easier to make analogies if I knew what era you're in. Tell me do you have wheels yet?
"Of course we have wheels, did your last owner not have wheels?"
They did but he never really used them; he didn't have a carriage.
"So why wouldn't we have wheels?"
Sometimes meat-bags regress instead of progressing.
"Whatever, that doesn't answer why I can hear everything you think." I told you you're oh wait maybe I didn't. Well regardless if I told you or not you are most likely related to my old owner Dorian. At some point in time he had a child although I have absolutely no clue when I mean I was with him pretty much all the time and never recalled meat-to-meat moments. But here you are living proof he took some time out of his schedule of saving humanity to succumb to the silly thing that is meat-bag biology. Ha so much for 'perfect' human.
"That still dosen't explain why I can hear you."
Oh my gods, were you not listening at all? It was only a few pages ago, Amora put an enchantment on me that let Dorian hear me but only if he was a girl. Now he wasn't so he couldn't hear me you being one makes it so you can. Obviously she never meant for him to have children or for anyone to hear me so she just lazily put on the enchantment. Something clearly went wrong and it has amplified itself making is so you can literally hear everything I think. She gave me a look of disbelief.
Believe what you want doesn't really matter to me. The real question is how you turned your bindings into flame. Was it some kind of meat-magic or are you not a full human meat? Muffles shook her head.
"My dad is big into experimenting and he made a serum that made me part wyvern. He tried dragon DNA with my older brother but I guess even the smallest amount of dragon DNA is too much for humans. So I got stuck with wyvern organs and blood."
Hmm, Muffles looked like a human and to be frank Amora isn't one for mad scientists. She liked everything pure blooded although now that he thought about it the spider with the torso of a human shouldn't exist either. Not because it was impossible but because Amora would have killed whomever tainted her pure creatures.
"You keep bringing up this Amora who are they?"
Just some crazy lady that doesn't know how to take criticism, it's not worth getting into right now. The important question is what else can you do? And why do you look human if you're part wyvern?
"My dad wanted me to get him stuff that only humans can get so I'm 90 percent human with just a bit of wyvern mixed in. Really I can only breath a bit of fire before I'm out for the day. Outside of that my skin is also resistant but without scales I would get burned eventually."
So you can't fly?
"Nope"
How about claws got any claws? Muffles held up her dirt covered hands. Despite their lack of cleanliness they were in fact just a couple of lame hands, no talons or even long fingernails. Do you have extra stomachs or sharper teeth or even a tail? She shook her head. So fire and don't get burned easily, that is pretty lame.
"I mean my hair is also red."
That's lame muffles.
"Yea I think so too." She answered defeated, taking a seat next to me on a nearby rock.
"How about you, do you do anything?"
Of course Muffles I am truly amazing for you see I can talk. In fact I am the best talking sword ever made. You will also find I am incredibly humble, probably the most humble sentient being in existence. So humble that I can admit that at the end of the day I'm just a sword. A sword that can't be broken of course and can do one or two things your average sword can't. But alas if one were to ignore all the amazing things I can do at the end of it all I'm just a normal awesome beautiful sword. And despite my many amazing feats and splendor I can't walk which sucks. She nodded sympathetically, just a couple of tools hanging out in a cave, but just remember I was the cooler tool that's very important.
Hey muffles don't you have to escape or something?
"I don't know how to get out and I already looked down the other paths, they're filled with webs. I couldn't make it very far even if I tried."
That sucks, I would help out but well ya know rock legs you get it.
"Yeah, hey wait if I had you could I cut through a spider?"
An amusing thought muffles but I doubt you have the strength to lift me from this rock even at my normal weight. I was nice enough not to mention she looked like a twig.
"Well I could try."
Very well Muffles but put the webs on me back when you fail they are a nice little blanket. Putting her grubby hand on my hilt she lifted and like butter slipped me out huh, guess I wasn't stuck all that deep after all.
I was just as shiny as I expected not even a hint of rust could be seen. Muffles held me up like a hero would at the end of a long battle. I could already see her taking me out of this cave. Me shining in the sunlight illuminating the world around me in my grandiose aura of greatness and her …uhh walking and more importantly admiring my amazingness. ONWARDS MY LEGS WE HAVE A WORLD TO SEE.