5

Chapter 5

Dancing in My Knickers

Harry and Draco enjoyed going to bars. They were well-known and having two very well-known wizards in a single bar was enough to get business going. Harry and Draco took much advantage of this.

"I'm more popular than ever," Draco spoke to no one in particular, one night at a bar. "I'm the most talked about celebrity- besides Harry- and I'm always in the news, I'm always in the magazines, everyone talks about me because I'm so wonderful and I'm so popular. Do you know how popular I am? Statistics show that…"

Harry drowned him out as Draco buzzed on and on to random strangers who seemed to be very taken by his beauty. They merely smiled and nodded, but other than that, they just gawked at him. Gawked because he was so damn hot. And Draco knew it. Harry just rolled his eyes and continued sipping his drink.

Sitting on the other side of Harry was Ron, staring wide-eyed at the beer before him. Being eighteen and finally drinking without his mother hassling him was something huge. If his mother found out about this, she would—

"—Kill you," Hermione finished his thoughts. "If this nightly gallivant turns up in the papers again, which it probably will, your mother will see it and she will kill you."

"Don't be such a party pooper, Hermione," Ron muttered, his eyes transfixed on the lovely bottle of beer before him.

"I'm just saving you from a walloping that your mother would be so glad to give you," Hermione eyed Ron disapprovingly. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but your mother highly disapproves of drinking."

Ron ignored her and took a huge swig of beer.

"She'll kill you," she hissed.

He took another gulp to spite her.

Draco's head rolled right on to Harry's shoulder and he began to snore.

"Hermione," Harry looked at her glumly. "Shouldn't we get going soon? Princess Charming is falling asleep."

"Yes, but I don't think he is ready to leave yet," she threw a furious look at Ron who was wearing his pants on his head and dancing on top of a table.

"Hey Hermione!" Ron called out. "Guess what?"

Hermione looked at him miserably. "What?"

"I'M SUPERMAN!"

"Aren't… you going to stop him?" Harry asked, surprised. "I mean, I'd stop him but…" he pointed to a sleeping Draco on his shoulder.

"I'm not going to stop him," Hermione muttered. "I hope he learns from this." Ron was now singing at the top of his lungs in another language in which he claimed to be Japanese.

Harry blinked, "Has he ever even been to Japan?"

Hermione snorted, "The closest thing he's ever gotten to Japan was reading those strange comic books."

"Hey! They're not strange—" Harry was interrupted by a loud thud. Ron had crashed on the floor and fell fast asleep.

"That's my cue," Hermione stood up and walked towards Ron.

"Need help?" Harry asked.

"Oh no, no," Hermione waved him away. "You just concentrate on getting Draco home. Poor guy got exhausted from bragging too much."

"Is that even possible?" Harry was dumbstruck as he looked at the sleeping boy on his shoulder.

"Probably, yes— Ron please, get on your feet. Don't make things difficult," Hermione grabbed both his arms and pulled him up. "We'll get going now. I'll see you later, Harry."

"Drive safely," Harry called out to them.

"Hey Harry!" Ron shouted, leaning on to Hermione for support. "Guess what?"

"What Ron?"

"I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

Embarrassed and quite red in the cheeks, Hermione shuffled him out of the bar.

A smile broke upon Harry's face. He could almost imagine Ron's expression when he finds out he'd been wearing his pants on his head. Harry suddenly felt Draco stir next to him.

"She loves him…" Draco muttered groggily, and then fell back asleep.

Hermione fumbled around for Ron's key and swung his apartment door open.

"Easy does it Ron," she whispered ushering him in. Barely even two paces into his apartment, she stepped on an empty pizza box. "Oh, honestly! Don't you clean up?"

"No-o-ope!" he slurred.

"Surprising," she muttered sarcastically. "Now if you'd just— ouch!" Hermione tripped over an empty Sprite can. "Ronald!"

"Blame the Sprite— hic!" he giggled.

Hermione sighed and shook her head as she led Ron into his bedroom. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of clothing strewn all over the floor, on top of the small T.V, and everywhere but inside the closet. "You're a pig," she said as she lowered him onto the bed, tugged off his shoes, and pulled the blanket over him. After making sure he had fallen asleep, she began picking up his clothes from the floor and folded them neatly. Then she walked out into the living room and snatched up the trash from the floor and stuffed them into the garbage can. The kitchen was a mess too… so she did the dishes.

I feel desperately sorry for the woman Ron is going to marry…she thought as she dried the last dish. But then she felt something clench in her stomach. The woman that Ron is going to marry… isn't me. "Well, good thing too!" she said aloud, very embarrassed that she even thought about Ron and marriage. She put the dish in the cupboard and walked back into the bedroom where Ron was snoring as loud as a lawnmower. She picked up her coat and chuckled softly, "Ron… what would you do without me?" with that, she walked out and slowly closed the door behind her.

Ron stirred and watched her shut the door. He smiled drowsily, still a bit drunk, and mumbled, "… I'd die."

Harry was still in bed when he felt the weight of another person flop down beside him. He didn't have to turn over to see who it was.

"Draco," Harry said groggily. "Go back to your own bed."

"No," Draco replied stubbornly as he snuggled under the covers, closer to Harry. "I'm cold and hung over…"

"That's your problem," Harry looked at the clock and saw that it read 7:33 am. He turned over to glare at the bed-raider. He was a bit shocked to see Draco looking so immaculate and perfect so early in the morning. He leaned over and squinted his eyes, "Are you wearing makeup?"

Draco smiled slyly, "Maybe. I'm not queer or anything, but can we cuddle? I'm really cold…"

"No, you gay-ass," Harry muttered with disgust as he rolled off the bed.

Draco pulled the covers over himself and nuzzled his nose against Harry's pillow, "Hmm, you smell good."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Still a bit drunk, are you?"

"Yes, Harry, I'm drunk. Drunk on…" Draco threw his hands up, "… life."

"Uh-huh…" Harry looked at him blankly. "Well, you just stay there and un-drunk yourself. I'm still tired so I'll sleep in your room."

Draco sat up quickly, "W-what? No! Come here, we'll share this bed. I'm…" he batted his eyelashes, "Lonely…"

"Like hell you are," Harry walked out of the room.

Draco sighed and counted off on his fingers, "Three… two… one."

Harry rushed back in; his eyes were wide like dinner plates. "Y-you… are so…"

"Dashing? Debonair?"

"Draco, there are two women in your bed! H-how… did they even get there!"

"Snuck 'em in," Draco answered promptly. "I guess they were in the neighborhood and they sensed my manly aura."

Harry's face screwed up in anger and confusion, "How is it even possible to do it like that?"

"I have my ways…" Draco answered mysteriously.

"Good God!" Harry looked like he was about to get sick right there on the carpet.

"All you had to do was ask, Harry. I'll share one of them with you—"

"No, you sick, sick freak. Ugh… I need a coffee."

Draco leapt out of bed, "I'll join you."

"No!" Harry held out a hand, holding him back. "I'm not even going to talk to you until you get those poor-excuses-for-women out of here!"

Draco looked at Harry with a strange expression on his face.

Harry blinked, "What?" That's when Draco shot out his arm and placed a hand on Harry's cheek.

"Darling," Draco whispered, his eyes glimmering.

Harry got a little scared.

"Darling," Draco repeated in the same misty voice. "If you were jealous… you could've just said so."

"Oh, gross!" Harry grimaced and slapped Draco's hand away.

Draco just laughed and nudged Harry's arm, "Come on, buddy. You know how it is. I'm young, I'm wild, I'm—"

"Horny," Harry interrupted.

"Yeah, I was just getting to that," Draco looked perplexed. "Now I lost my train of thought…"

"To have a train of thought, you require a brain," Harry said hotly.

"Geez Potter, I'm not that dumb, you know. Modeling isn't the only thing I'm good at!"

"I know, because you're also good at being an ass!"

"Thank you! I was wondering when you'd get to that!" Draco strutted out of the room. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my women! Shagging is another thing I'm good at too!" he slammed the door. But within seconds, the door opened again, "Oh, I'm also good at being beautiful. You know that, right?"

"Draco…" Harry rubbed his temples and groaned. "Just… get those girls out of here."

Draco gave Harry a salute, "Right-o, Pott-o." Just as Draco walked out of the room, Hedwig landed on the windowsill and tapped her beak on the glass pane.

"Hello Hedwig!" Harry opened the window to let her in. She dropped a rolled up newspaper into his hand and nibbled on his fingers affectionately. "Ready to have a good sleep?" Hedwig hooted softly and soared off to a nearby tree. Harry no longer kept her in a cage.

He dreaded looking into the Daily Prophet but he knew he had to. With trembling fingers, he undid the string and opened the paper…

Oh God.

Oh, Good God.

"Harry!" a voice shouted from outside his front door. Someone banged their fists on it and continued shouting, "Harry!"

Harry rushed to the door and flung it open to reveal a very disheveled Ron.

"The p-paper…" Ron stammered, his face was extremely pale. His eyes lowered on the Daily Prophet tightly clutched in Harry's hand. "Merlin, you saw it didn't you?"

"Ron—" Harry was about to sympathize with his friend but was abruptly cut off when Draco merrily skipped in.

"Weasley!" Draco yelled exuberantly. "Good morning! Ah, you've got the paper, Harry, let me see it— thanks— Oh, holy crap." His eyes widened at the sight of the front page. An expression of disappointment spread across his face as he shoved the paper back into Harry's hands, "There's nothing about me in there. It's all about Weasley and how he flashed his knickers to the world. Goddamn, Weasley, why do you have to be so selfish?"

Ron's ears turned red which was a dangerous sign, "I did not ask for them to put a picture of me in my underwear—"

"Your Superman underwear," Draco said, examining the picture again. "You've got nice legs."

Ron snatched the paper, "Oh, I do? Well thank you, I work out— NO, that's not the point!"

"Ah, here!" Draco pointed to the article. "I'm mentioned! Ronald Weasley, son of Arthur Weasley of the Ministry of Magic, seems to be a part of Draco Malfoy's entourage. With these ostentatious actions that were displayed last night, the world of entertainment could expect more from this rambunctious young red-haired man. See, Weasley? Now that you're deemed as one of my posse, your reputation has just soared!"

"I'm a man-slut!" Ron wailed. "I've tainted my father's name and my mother is going to bury me alive…"

"Hermione tried to warn you," Harry said tentatively.

"Hermione," Ron groaned. "She'll release all hell on me. Ronald, I've told you countless times that drinking is a bad habit! And now that you've paraded yourself in the paper, what do you have to say for yourself?" he mimicked Hermione perfectly.

As if on cue, Hermione barged in Harry's apartment.

"What the…" Ron looked at her wide-eyed. "How did you know I was here?"

"Instinct," Hermione said briskly before raining down all her wrath on him. "Ronald, I've told you countless times that drinking is a bad habit—"

"Is Weasley a psycho?"

"It's psychic, Draco,not psycho …"

"And now that you've paraded yourself in the paper, what do you have to say for yourself!" Hermione's now-straight hair seemed to be going back to its bushy state and looked like it was crackling with electricity. "Your mum had the same idea as me when we both went to your apartment to strangle you. But luckily I didn't tell her that I had a feeling you were here!"

"Mum knows about it?" the blood rushed from Ron's face.

"Like hell she does!" Hermione rarely cursed so when she said anything worse than "darn," you'd know she was serious.

"Was she angry?" Ron asked feebly.

"Ronald, must you ask such a stupid question?" Hermione sighed. "She looked like she was ready to use the Avada Kedavra curse if she had been so lucky to see you."

Ron gulped and squeaked, "R-really?"

Draco was eagerly munching on cereal as his eyes were darting back and forth between Ron and Hermione. This was better than a movie.

Harry tapped Draco on the shoulder and made a motion.

"Sssh!" Draco hissed. "It's getting good!" he kept his eyes focused on the two.

Harry made a jerky motion with his head, signaling to the bedroom. Draco's eyes lit up mischievously, "Ah, fancy a shag?" Harry sighed and took Draco by the elbow, ushering him into the bedroom.

Draco just continued spooning cereal into his mouth as he looked at Harry inquisitively. "You know, I really don't want to shag you. I was joking."

"Shut up," Harry snapped, closing the door behind them. "I just thought we'd leave them alone for now."

Draco sat on the bed and leaned up against the wall. He stuck the spoon in his mouth and began wiggling it around, due to the boredom that quickly overtook him. Draco got bored easily. "She's in love with him."

Harry turned to Draco, "Who?"

"Hedwig and Dobby," Draco answered sarcastically. "Who do you think, dumb-dumb?"

"Hermione and Ron?" Harry screwed up his face in thought. "I don't know about that. Hermione's usually the type to just say what she's thinking."

"It's not all that easy to say it, Pothead," Draco said irritably. "Honestly, how dense can you be? It's like you've never fallen in love before."

"I haven't," Harry said firmly.

"Oh," Draco blinked. "Well, that's silly of me. Neither have I."

"Obviously now," Harry scoffed. "Since you prefer one-night-stands to the real thing."

Draco glared, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means exactly what I just said," Harry answered. "You're the type who'd never want to commit. You would never be able to get a good respectable girl that's why the only ones you score with are the sluts."

Draco's brain wasn't quick enough to stop the words, "I'll fall in love! Just you watch! I bet you that I will fall in love!"

"I'd love to take you up on that bet, but it sounds a bit too much like Ron and Hermione's. I wouldn't want to be ripping off theirs."

"Honestly, Potter. Don't you know? Life is full of bets and deals. That's what makes it so interesting."

"Malfoy, how can you fall in love when you're too busy playing gay-house with me?"

Draco thought for a bit, "Oh yeah…" he sighed. "Damn. And I was totally looking forward to the whole love experience."

"You don't look for love," Harry said in a superior tone. "Love looks for you."

Draco placed his empty cereal bowl next to him, "Well thank you for the advice, Confucius. I'll treasure it forever." He paused and leaned forward, "Hey, the yelling stopped. I think it's safe to go out."

Harry opened the door and they both walked out, only to see that Hermione had Ron in what seemed to be a very painful headlock.

"You won't drink again, will you?" she hissed through gritted teeth. "Will you, Ronald, will you!"

"N-no, Master!" Ron wailed as Hermione tightened her grip.

Draco blinked as a smile slithered on his face, "Hm… why does that look very kinky?"

Harry rolled his eyes and groaned, grabbing Draco by the arm and hurling him back in the bedroom.

This was a very interesting morning…