Soul for a Girlfriend?

It was Monday morning, the start of the week. I always feel so lethargic, but I have to go to school today.

I was convincing myself to leave my warm comfortable bed, but it felt like the bed was hugging me. I don't want to leave you either bed-chan.

My vision was blurry. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I put on my spectacles and went to the washroom to freshen up. After brushing and taking a shower, I headed towards my wardrobe.

The apartment that I used to live in wasn't very big, but it was spacious enough for a single student like me. The kitchen was right next to the bedroom. Well, it had only one bedroom, one kitchen with a hall which was an extensive area.

I opened my wardrobe and took out my uniform. I wore a white shirt and put on my black checkered trousers. I tightened my red tie, but not too much. I always kept the top button open and wore the tie accordingly.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My messy black hair was still wet and was falling into my eyes. I brushed them to the side with my left hand.

I checked the time; it was 7.30 am. I was late today, so I quickly took my bag. I opened the fridge and took out the can of milkshake and my lunch, which I prepared last night.

I stayed up late reading a manga last night, which I regret now. As I was still feeling sleepy.

I locked my door and headed for my school while sipping a can of milkshake.

My school was a bit far from where my apartment is. So I have to leave with a few extra minutes in my hand.

I was walking towards my school, as I noticed two students from our school walking slowly in front of me while holding hands.

I assumed they were a couple because of the intimacy they were displaying. I don't understand how people even fall in love. Or feel some level of affection towards a certain individual.

I never fell in love, nor did I know the meaning of love. Was I bothered about that? Of course not.

Do I want to feel loved, or be in love?

NO.

Love is a waste of time.

But what bothered me was the meaning of love. Because love is a really ambiguous term. Different books have different meanings of love.

Or rather interestingly, different people have different definitions of love. How weird was that? Do we have different meanings for hate?

Of course not. There is only one meaning of hate. But love, which is a really simple term, but has a really complicated meaning.

I was really curious about what love means. Or how it affects a person's emotions. Because people will break many barriers just for the person they love.

Personally, I think that is really dumb. In my opinion, love clouds one's ability to think straight.

Nevertheless, people always want to experience love.

I have heard many people telling me I was missing a huge part of high school. "High School Romance."

But I don't care about that, I'm happier without love. I am happy with my manga and video games.

Though I have referred to many psychological books which have mentioned the mechanism of love but every book has a different meaning.

But, reading them actually helped me a lot to understand people's emotions. I can act like I really care in some situations, but I don't. I just know what that person wants to hear so I sugar coat them.

Am I a piece of shit?

YES.

Do I care?

NO

I don't think I should change myself, because I'm just right, the way I am.

I don't despise people in love though, I just think of them as dumb and naïve.

I reached my school, while thinking about random things like that. I took my shoes off and put on my school shoes from my locker. It used to be a white shoes which became dusty overtime.

I walked towards my class and sat down in my usual place beside the window. My eyes caught my reflection in the window and I stared into my brown eyes for a few moments.

Our teacher entered the class. She slid the door, the iron sockets made a creaking noise. I looked at her, and she always had this unreadable face.

We could never tell if she was angry with us or not. She was an amiable lady, though. She had long black hair that she always used to tie up in a ponytail. Her eyes were brown.

She was our homeroom teacher, Miss Tachibana Aoi.

I just happened to notice these details. I don't have a crush on my sensei. Come on.

She began with the attendance.

I waited for my name to come.

"Yukimura-kun? Yukimura-kun?"- she called out his name two times then he responded.

"Yes, I'm here."- he raised his hand.

"Where's your mind?"- she rolled her eyes and continued the attendance.

Yukimura was one of my friends. He was an otaku, though. He was the one who introduced me to manga, I'm glad he did.

Though, he is a closet otaku. No one knows about it except me. Well, I accidentally stumbled upon him once at a player's stop. Apparently, they sell manga too.

I went to buy a new game and found out that Yukimura was there browsing the manga section.

"Sakamaki-kun?"

"Here."- I responded as my name finally came. My name was towards last in alphabetical order.

Though, this benefitted me since I always have to submit assignments and do presentations in the end. I'm glad that my parents did one right thing.

Our classes continued until lunchtime.

It was lunchtime as the bell rang, and I got up to leave for the cafeteria. I always eat in the cafeteria with Yukimura. Even if we bring our own lunches, we still eat in the cafeteria.

I was sitting with Yukimura while munching down my lunch.

"Damn, have you not eaten for a week?"

"I didn't have time for my breakfast this morning."- I sipped the milk.

"I see."- he nodded and took a bite out of his bread.

"Hey look, it's her."- Yukimura said as she glanced towards someone behind me.

I turned my head slightly and followed his gaze. It was Hiromi Kosaki. She was from the drama club and was a really pretty girl. She had long brown hair which she never tied.

Yukimura had a crush on her ever since the first day of high school.

"You should ask her out."- I said.

"Are you crazy?"

"Of course, not. You should just confess instead of being in a void."

I think people should be more straightforward with their feelings instead of hiding them. Hiding feelings is the first step to miscommunication between two people.

"I know, but-"

"Well, it was just advice from me. It's up to you if you want to waste your time then feel free."- I took another sip of the milk.

"Man, I can't tell if you're angry or not. I don't think I have a chance with her."

Yukimura was a good-looking guy relative to me. He had short brown hair which he kept sideways and he had a really outgoing personality. But his most prominent feature was his green eyes.

"I believe you can do it."- I said.

No, I wasn't trying to sugar-coat him. It's true. He was popular among girls but still he was like this.

"I just don't have the courage to do that."- he said.

"Remember all those romantic manga, you wanted a love like that, right? This is your chance." I could tell his face lit up at the mention of manga.

"Yeah, you're right. This is my chance, except I'm not like the main character in those manga."

"True."- we shared a laugh.

The rest of the day went by, and nothing interesting happened.

The school ended around 3.30 pm. I used to walk back home with Yukimura but we parted ways at the downtown intersection as he lived in a different neighbourhood than me.

The remaining walk was always boring, so I listened to music on the way.