Stalker

Once in you life,did you stalked you ex lover? because I did. It was painful when you see his picture looking happy. Did you curse your ex lover? because in my heart I cursed him a thousand times. Praying that he'll forever feel drown from his own guilt.

but it turns out, He's happy when he left. He's having a time of his life. He doesn't feel anything after he left. He jokes with his friends, go out with his coworker and even flirt comment with girls.

how about me? I try, I even post on my social media that I'm happier when he left, looking too pretty as if I was not dump. but the truth is I was suicidal. As time goes by, my post also dwindled and as days become months, I stop posting.

Also I try not to stalk him on social media anymore, because everytime I try to peek, my heart ache. But you can't help it. Once in a while, deep within you something will urge you to search his name. Take a look, and then you started to feel lonely again. You curse yourself, why did I do it. Why am I so dumb. What do I want to see? Why did I get disappointed?

Then you ask yourself, why do you cry for a guy who does not care for you? why do you still love a guy who left you? and lastly why do you still care after all the heartache?

So many questions but it seems there is no answer to it. You can't seem to find the answer to all your questions.

Do you miss your ex lover? I know even if you say you don't, your just lying to yourself. you know, you seek him desperately but you can't seem to go where he is because you know your going to get rejected and feel more pathetic than your already are.