5. Chapter 5: Harry

Yo, peoples! Thanks again for all your reviews. Comments to my reviewers for the previous chapters are at the end of this chapter. (That's why it's so long.)

I think Harry is a bit OoC here. I hope you don't mind, hehe. -Runs away- And 5th year Prefects are still Prefects in their 6th year, right? Wasn't Percy a 6th year in Chamber of Secrets and a Prefect?

& without further ado, here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 5

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HARRY

Is it just me, or has the whole female student body of Hogwarts suddenly started swooning at Malfoy whenever he passes?

Somehow, by the reactions of Ginny, Parvati and Lavender to the blond ferret, I don't think that it's my imagination. Plus they're some of the prettiest girls in the school. Please, don't tell them I said that about them, or I will personally dispose of you.

However, thankfully, Hermione seems oblivious to Malfoy. I know that because she has just recently started planning to murder him. In fact, she's making a list of ways to get rid of him - and I, for one, hope that she succeeds, if that means Ginny will stop gawking at Malfoy like all the other girls.

What? It's true. She does gawk at him.

Honestly, by the way she looks at him sometimes, you'd think she was becoming a Pansy clone. And you should all know what Pansy's like. If you don't, here's some flashbacks to help jog your memory (I heard these from some gossiping girls in Slytherin):

FLASHBACK 1.

"Pansy! Get off of me!" Malfoy hollered, after waking up and finding Pansy on top of him and nuzzling his ear. He sat up, pushed her away and dressed in record time before she could jump on him again. Then, he hurried towards the common room.

"Oh, but Draco!" she pouted and called after him. "Come back! Now's the perfect time to have a romantic candlelit dinner!"

"Now is 2am! Get lost and go back to your own bloody dormitory!" he yelled back.

"But...!"

"Go away! I told you before, Parkinson, don't come into my dormitory in the middle of the night!"

END FLASHBACK 1.

FLASHBACK 2.

Malfoy had broken his arm last year, while we had been at the Ministry of Magic, fighting Death Eaters. Apparently, Peeves had zoomed through him by accident, and while he went through Malfoy's arm, the heavy iron chains he had been carrying didn't. He howled in pain as the bones in his arm cracked and, as expected, Pansy rushed through the gathering crowd and kneeled down beside him.

"Aww, Draco! You broke your poor widdle arm!" she commented.

Malfoy glared. "That's obvious! While you're here, why don't you do something useful, like go away?!"

"But surely you don't mean that! Let me kiss your arm better, my darling," she said, ignoring his protests and grabbing his arm roughly, causing something else to snap. Malfoy's eyes widened and he nearly screamed as a fresh wave of pain shot from his arm.

"Goyle... Crabbe... g-go get a teacher!" he managed to gasp, whilst fending Pansy off at the same time. The crowd twittered and some other Slytherins started to hurry away to find a teacher, since they all knew how dumb those two were.

Finally, Professor Snape arrived, and walked briskly towards Malfoy, stopping Pansy just as she was about to tackle the boy. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Malfoy's arm. "Peeves, was it?" he asked. Malfoy nodded mutely, and Snape, conjuring up a stretcher, levitated Malfoy onto it and led him towards the Hospital Wing.

According to some, after the incident Peeves had refused to say whether he did it on purpose or by accident.

END FLASHBACK 2.

So you see what Pansy's like now. And as reluctant as I am to admit it, I almost feel sorry for that snotty Malfoy. Not that he really is snotty, of course. It's just a way of speech.

Anyway, onto a happier note... I can't believe Ron and I actually managed to get Hermione to stop talking about spew for one whole year! And it was a good deal - we help her get rid of Malfoy, and she shuts up about elf rights. Ron also persuaded her to stop glaring at us whenever we eat. Her glares were almost as frightening as her speeches about spew were pointless. I mean, why complain about paying elves and setting them all free, when they love their jobs here at Hogwarts? Honestly. Girls these days are so confusing.

Just like Ginny - she's dated more guys in her five years here than all of us three put together. She dumped Dean in the holidays (they had been sending owls to each other and visiting each others' houses), and now was seeing some guy called Jeffrey Wilson. And she still finds the time to stare at Malfoy. Sheesh.

Oh well. Never mind that.

"So what are you going to do next?" I ask Hermione, as we trudge along back to our common rooms after Care of Magical Creatures.

People from all houses are milling around as they exit from their last class and start towards their own common rooms before the next lesson. Ours would be DADA - Defence Against Dark Arts - and it's with Slytherin. Again! Honestly, if I didn't know Dumbledore better, I'd have sworn that he's making Gryffindors have their classes with Slytherins on purpose. Then again, knowing him, he's probably trying to 'unite' the houses, especially the two that hate each other the most. Though I don't think having lessons with Slytherins will improve our unity with them.

"Oh, I don't know, really," she answers, shrugging. "I haven't thought of a new plan yet."

"You're gonna keep going?" Ron stares at her. "Honestly?"

"Yes," she says, smoothing her jacket absently. "I need to wash that top, too... remind me, guys."

"Wash your top, wash your top, wash your top," Ron chants in a monotone.

"Not now," she snaps at him, amused.

"Wash... top... wash... your... top..."

"Shut up, Ron," I laugh, punching his arm lightly. "You sound like a broken record."

"Wash... wash... top... your..." Ron is now looking delirious and his eyes are beginning to roll around in their sockets. Urgh. The lengths he goes to just to make a joke.

"Is something wrong? Are you OK, Ron?" Hermione asks worriedly.

"Don't worry about him, he's just acting," I say, waving a hand breezily. "He does this all the time in the dor - whoa!" Ron starts to sway and Hermione and I catch him just in time as he collapses. "Ron! Are you alright, Ron?"

Ron doesn't say anything, but makes a small gurgling sound. "Urg... gur..."

"We need to take him to the Hospital Wing!" cries Hermione. I nod and, placing Ron's arm over my neck, lift him up and support him as we walk. Soon we arrive at the Wing, and knock the door urgently.

"Yes, what is it?" Madam Pomfrey opens the door and glances at Ron. "Oh, feeling ill, is he? Come in. Goodness knows, I've seen you three in here more times than any other students that I can remember."

I grin weakly and hoist Ron onto a bed. Hermione places his feet, which are dangling down, onto the mattress and we wait anxiously while he gurgles. Madam Pomfrey joins us a moment later. "So, what's wrong with him?" she asks, examining his eyes, which are rolling a little, carefully.

"Well, we were just walking from Care of Magical Creatures, and then he suddenly collapsed!" Hermione says, frowning. "He was fine, then his eyes started rolling and stuff..."

"Hmm, Care of Magical Creatures, was it? Were you studying wood sprites, by any chance?" Madam Pomfrey turns to look at us. We exchange a glance.

"Actually, yes, we were," I say slowly. "But I don't think anyone else was sick..."

"Is he going to be alright?" Hermione blurts the question I was about to ask. I nod and look at her questioningly.

She laughs. "Don't worry about it. He'll be fine. It's just the wood sprites' pollen that's made him ill. I believe he is allergic to it... and quite severely so, too. Though it's nothing my anti-allergy potion shouldn't fix." Madam Pomfrey smiles at us. "He'll be up and walking by tomorrow morning. You can see him then. For now, you'll have to go away." She shoos us towards the door and shuts it behind us.

"Well, that's good," I say, relieved. "We'll visit him tomorrow morning, I guess."

Hermione looks a bit... unhappy somehow, but she smiles at me and nods. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

I wonder why she's so upset?

Is it because... no way, it can't be. Could it?

Hermione likes Ron?

Later this evening, we sit in the common room, the two of us plus Ginny. It makes me nervous to sit so close to her, but I control myself and think calming thoughts, like Quidditch, where I will kick Malfoy's ass, and waterfalls and flowers and prancing gnomes dancing around naked...

Hold it. Scratch that last part. Naked gnomes are part of my nightmares, actually.

Anyway, we are sitting at the same table and writing our Potions homework. Ginny had been very worried about Ron when we told her, but now that she knows that he's going to be OK, she's the same as always.

"Hey. That bit's wrong, Harry. Moonflowers aren't used for preventing bad burns, they're used to cure lunatics," Ginny says, leaning over to inspect my work.

Leaning over, even closer! Our faces are about ten centimetres apart, but she's looking down at my work, and I'm blushing and staring at the back of her lovely red head. Hermione raises an eyebrow knowingly, and grins. I glare at her, and she stifles a giggle.

Hermione glances at her watch. "Oh, nearly 8pm. I have Prefect duties tonight." She sighs and packs her essay away into her bag. Ginny and I look up, and silently I give her a look that says, don't leave me alone with Ginny! I'll make a fool of myself! But it is Prefect duties, so she shrugs apologetically and gives me a replying look that plainly says, well then, make the most of your time alone with her, Lover Boy. Hahahaha.

And then she leaves. Suddenly I realize why she was so unhappy about Ron being in the Hospital Wing. If she does like him... then this means she can't do duties with him tonight, can she?

And so I am alone. With Ginny, who is prodding me. "Hey, Hermione's gone, but we still have to do our homework," she says.

"Um, yeah, you're right," I manage to splutter, before bending my head quickly and crossing out my sentence about the moonflowers.

Oh boy. I hope Hermione finishes her duties soon, before I do anything really stupid.

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Thank you to all my reviewers so far (comments are replies for the people who reviewed chapter 4):

moonmouse, XXXpinkkitty5467, ITK with a dark side, Cold-eyes-for-you, Supreme Neo slytherin Countess, Cherry Arrow, Best of My Love, Swimming-Gal, Vendethiel, babygirl1990, HarryGinnyluv, Lydia Potter, Heather, peace.princess, Weirdi, ashibabi, Nianko, Essenity, Nevra4Evra, Re-Living Tomorrow, LivKnightley, Silver-Sox, Dreaming One, LayDe3 tR1n1ty, FiReFaIrY14, HappyHarryLover, Hiei's Jaded Dragon, Whisper's Song.

Zekintha: Thanks for your reviews! He doesn't have a love potion, as you may have already realized. And poor you, you can't login all the time...

Venus725: Your reviews are quite amusing to read. Thank you:D And yes, I know what you mean...

SnowHedwig05: Thanks, I'm happy that people don't mind my chapter lengths... even though it keeps changing.

preciousonee: Lol, I'm glad you liked it!

xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: Thank you for your reviews! Glad you enjoy my fic.

Nightmaze: I actually like receiving long reviews. They're fun to read, as long as they're not flames or repeated words...

juliachan: Thanks for taking time to stop by. :D

Karana Bell: Yes, you tend to run out of rude things to write when it comes to insults... and thanks for reviewing.

Halric The Harmless: Angsty? Hmmm, I didn't plan to make her angsty, but if she is, that's fine by me. :D

l3Nxh34r7: Ok. I've updated! Hohoho.

Luna G: Well, I guess it IS quite hard not to write OoC... none of us are Rowling and we don't have her style of writing, do we?

Dreaming One: Oh, thank you for your reviews and ideas. You're a great writer yourself, by the looks of your stories!

Michelle Felton: Thank you for reviewing.

-Hugs and Pocky for all!- Oh, and this chapter, with Ron falling ill and stuff, may seem pointless, but you will see in the next chapter why these events were necessary... -Cackles-