Chapter 18
trigger warning: sexual content and mention of suicide and self harmFukumori climbed over and pinned Yoshiya down to the couch, looking down at the smaller male who was shaking, not sure what was going on.
"Fukumori...let go..your going a bit far..."
"Sorry Yoshi. I can't hold back."
Fukumori kissed Yoshiya again, running his free hand down Yoshiyas torso which causes the blushing male to shudder. He tried moving his head away, but Fukumori grabs his chin and makes him face him once more. His hands slipping into Yoshiyas pants, causing Yoshiya to gasp in surprise.
"Fukumori..no..please stop..."
Fukumori wasn't listening, he was in his own head. He slipped off Yoshiyas pants and began rubbing Yoshiya through the thin fabric of his boxers, causing Yoshiya to let out a surprised moan. This caused him to cover his mouth quickly.
While all of this is happening, Yutaka is headed over to Yoshiyas house to check on him. Worried that he didn't get hear anything from his boyfriend.
Fukumori was in the middle of almost being able to getting to the second half of what he wanted to too, only to be stopped by banging on the front door. Yoshiya kick Fukumori off, pulling his pants up and running to the door.
Once he opened it, he saw a panting Yutaka who had a worried look on his face. He ran all the way there. He was about to hug Yoshiya when he noticed how red Yoshiyas face was and that Yoshiya was panting, his clothes where messed up and his lips where swollen. He froze, trying to convince himself that it isn't what it looked like. His mind raced as he just scanned Yoshiya over who was trying to talk to him, but he didn't hear anything Yoshiya was saying.
He only stopped when he heard someone get up from behind Yoshiya, he peeked around the other male to see Fukumori getting his stuff together. Yutaka and Fukumori made eye contact.
This is what confirmed what Yutaka was thinking
'he..cheated on me...' Yutaka watched as Fukumori shoved passed Yoshiya and him to get outside as he left. Yutaka just stood there, looking at Yoshiya as the tears began to build.
"How...why?...Was I lacking something?..." Yutakas voice cracked as he spoke. Yoshiya was surprised by this, not getting the severity of the situation as he tried to hug Yutaka, only to get shoved away.
"If you like him so damn much...you can have him..." Yutaka turned and ran off, heading to anywhere that his legs would take him.
"YUTAKA!!" Yoshiya called after him and was about to run after him when he saw his moms car pull up, she was home early and she looked annoyed.
"Yoshiya, we need to talk."
Yoshiya gripped his chest, knowing nothing good comes from that sentence. He nodded to his mother and turned, walking back inside and sitting at the kitchen table. His mother sat next to him, folding her arms.
"Your English teacher contacted me. Your behind on your class work. I know a lot has been going on, but you need to get your act together. I know your better then this."
Yoshiya was holding his tears as he nodded.
"Give me your phone." She held out her hand, waiting for it as he pulled it out of his pocket and placed it into his mothers hand. She placed it into her pocket and sighed.
"I know you can do better Yoshiya. Now please go to your room."
He stood and walked up stairs to his room, tears streaming down his face, his mind telling him things that scared him. He didn't know what to do. Yutaka got the wrong idea and Fukumori was being a jerk...
He sat in the corner of his room and hugged his knees, letting out a quiet sob as the anxiety filled his chest and made it hard to breath. He kept his crying as quiet as he possibly could, he didn't was his mother to heard him.
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The next few days went by with silence. Yoshiya was staying after school and focusing on catching up in his classes. He wasn't able to talk to Yutaka, because he was busy and because when he tried, Yutaka would avoid him.
Yutaka has begun to hang out with another group of friends and that was the soccer team. Yoshiya would avoid Fukumori again, which pissed him off, but he didn't try anything that would ruin their friendship further.
Yoshiya would be more quiet then he used to be, avoiding people more then he did before, along with keeping to himself. He looked sad and as if he has given up, nobody really noticed since everyone around him was avoiding him or busy. It got to the point where he locked himself into his room and didn't come out till the next morning, his mother just assumed he was tired from all the school work he needed to do.
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About a month goes by, Yoshiya looks really skinny since he hasn't been eating and the bags under his eyes have gotten darker since he hasn't been sleeping. He hasn't been able too, every time he tries, he has nightmares about everything falling apart around him.
He walked into his house, kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up, he doesn't even notice his mother in the kitchen talking to Daxai who came down for a week. He was too focused on getting to his room and just sitting in his corner, he felt safe there.
Daxai saw him walk past the kitchen, not even saying hi. This made Daxai furrow his brows.
"Is he alright?"
"I think so, he might just be tired from all the school work he has."
Daxai looks at the stairs that Yoshiya went up and sighs
"Maybe.."
Yoshiya opened the door to his room, it was a mess, clothes everywhere, trash in all crevasses. Normally his room was extremely clean, but he just didn't have the motivation to clean it anymore. He set his bag down and went to the only clean spot in his room...the corner.
He sat down and hugged his knees, taking in a deep breath before letting out a silent sob, feeling the tightness in his chest again.
He then reached over to the stop he made behind the base bored and pulled out a box cutter he made, he held it tightly, debating on what he should do. He rolled up his sleeve to show recent cuts on his upper arm. The tears blurred his vision as he added to those, the blood running down his arm. He didn't care, he somehow convinced himself that it helped.
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A couple days went by like that. Daxai was getting more and more worried, so when Yoshiyas mom told him to go give Yoshiya his phone, he took that as a moment to check in on him.
He walked up the steps and down the hall, knocking on the door.
"Yoshiya?..."
There was silence. He knocked again.
"Yoshiya.."
He heard a groan and a muffled 'hang on'
Soon the door was opened and there stood Yoshiya, he looked like a mess and from what Daxai would see into his room, it was a mess as well.
"Your mom told me to give you your phone..."
Yoshiya nodded and took it form him, mumbling a thank you before quickly closing the door on Daxais face. Daxai stood there, knowing something was wrong and went downstairs to tell Clara. The worry in his voice is very visible.
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Yoshiya hesitated before turning on his phone, seeing messages form numbers he didn't know. He flinched at the death threats and the gay slurs that all the numbers where giving him. He scrolled past them to see a message from Yutaka.
It read "I'm sorry Yoshiya but I can't be with a cheater. Where through. Didn't know you where a whore."
He then realized after that, that the numbers he was getting texts from where from the soccer team, but what he didn't realize is that Yutaka wasn't the one that sent that, it was a girl that stole his phone. Yutaka actually got the truth from Fukumori, which ended in Fukumori and Yutaka fighting and Yutaka losing his phone.
Yoshiya was looking at the texts, his mind going blank and his body going numb. He glanced over to a bottle of sleeping pills he had on his dresser that he bought but never used.
"it's for the best..."
He stood up and downed the whole bottle, not needing water for it before he walked to his bed, sitting down.
(I just want to say, that if you ever get thoughts of hurting yourself or if you feel that you want to die. Don't do it, you may feel alone but trust me your not, there are people out there that love and care for you and would be really sad if you left them. There are also people out there that you can talk to if it gets really bad...Stay strong, you got this! I believe in you!<3)