webnovel
Iseeyou
IseeyouLv153mth
2024-08-10 10:29

This is rough to read. Not to bad of a story overall. For a twelve year old with adhd. The author is unfortunately someone young and doesn’t know how to put a mature mindset into his writing. Which is understandable but still it makes the novel hard to read with the MC being very immature and super childish along with all of the other characters. If your young you’ll like this story and everyone is best of friends.

Reincarnated as Bella Swan's Brother (Twilight)

WhiteAuthor
4.2
142 Chs

Liked by 52 people

LIKE
Replies13
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

I get what you mean but i dont really want to write something super serious or not childish as ur calling it. i already do that with my original novels and its draining. thanks for the review, i hope you didnt waste your time completley. <3

3mth
3
Iseeyou
IseeyouLv15

Nah your good. Your just young so you don’t get it. I don’t even really want it serious it’s just your mindset coming off into the story makes it so that all the characters are very childish. Good stuff though.

WhiteAuthor:I get what you mean but i dont really want to write something super serious or not childish as ur calling it. i already do that with my original novels and its draining. thanks for the review, i hope you didnt waste your time completley. <3
3mth
18
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

Allright, im about to turn 20 but i can understand that im not 'mature' yet. eitherway thanks for giving the story a shot. <3

Iseeyou:Nah your good. Your just young so you don’t get it. I don’t even really want it serious it’s just your mindset coming off into the story makes it so that all the characters are very childish. Good stuff though.
3mth
2
Apollocus
ApollocusLv13

I mean if u write immature u write immature being mature isn’t necessarily indicative of age, the brain only fully matures at 25 and even then there adults in like the age of 40 that are immature and childish. Just how it is.

WhiteAuthor:Allright, im about to turn 20 but i can understand that im not 'mature' yet. eitherway thanks for giving the story a shot. <3
3mth
12
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

True.

Apollocus:I mean if u write immature u write immature being mature isn’t necessarily indicative of age, the brain only fully matures at 25 and even then there adults in like the age of 40 that are immature and childish. Just how it is.
3mth
1
AKARYUU
AKARYUULv14

Question is fml is oc? Because if so I don’t want to waste my time reading even if story is good I abhor the mc is with oc. That thing is only good if world doesn’t have anyone else or she is one many, if she only one then no it’s not for me. Oc= cannon fodder nothing more.so if u can give a reply.

WhiteAuthor:True.
3mth
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

No i hate Oc's that arent the main character, Alice is fml. Edythe isn't truly an Oc as she appears on the official twilight book called Life and Death.

AKARYUU:Question is fml is oc? Because if so I don’t want to waste my time reading even if story is good I abhor the mc is with oc. That thing is only good if world doesn’t have anyone else or she is one many, if she only one then no it’s not for me. Oc= cannon fodder nothing more.so if u can give a reply.
3mth
5
AKARYUU
AKARYUULv14

Thx. Yes she was but I didn’t waste my time reading twilight or that book. Movies there enough for me :D. So I count her as oc :D.because all I saw that Edythe is just genderbent Edward so my liking for her is even less. Thx again for replying now I can go back to reading ur story. Good luck and don’t burn out ;)

WhiteAuthor:No i hate Oc's that arent the main character, Alice is fml. Edythe isn't truly an Oc as she appears on the official twilight book called Life and Death.
3mth
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

Thanks, a lil reminder that the first 4-5 chapters are really old and pretty mid tbh, it gets better as the chapters progress and the story is pretty slow in progression as I try to expand on the story and characters. Real plot with action and stuff has only started at chapter 40 which is only on patreon rn, will be out in a week or less in here.

AKARYUU:Thx. Yes she was but I didn’t waste my time reading twilight or that book. Movies there enough for me :D. So I count her as oc :D.because all I saw that Edythe is just genderbent Edward so my liking for her is even less. Thx again for replying now I can go back to reading ur story. Good luck and don’t burn out ;)
3mth
2
The_man_The_myth
The_man_The_mythLv4

It’s gets objectively better to be honest though and the update schedule is amazing

3mth
1
IWant2DieALilMore
IWant2DieALilMoreLv14

Before I read this I have to ask. This wont be a "Alice had a vision of her soulmate" like insta-together bullshit? Right? BC that's nothing new, most like 70% of twilight fanfictions go this route. I am personally sick of the trope.

2mth
1
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

No, they dont get together until around chapter 95-105

IWant2DieALilMore:Before I read this I have to ask. This wont be a "Alice had a vision of her soulmate" like insta-together bullshit? Right? BC that's nothing new, most like 70% of twilight fanfictions go this route. I am personally sick of the trope.
2mth
NewfoundBlade
NewfoundBladeLv1

I'm 21 lets be friends

WhiteAuthor:I get what you mean but i dont really want to write something super serious or not childish as ur calling it. i already do that with my original novels and its draining. thanks for the review, i hope you didnt waste your time completley. <3
2mth
Other Reviews
WhiteAuthor
WhiteAuthorAuthor

So I used to have this big review for myself, but I decided to delete it and just say this: I'm a cool dude. Read the Fanific. Yeeahh that's all.

2mth

Golias
GoliasLv5

... well, the MC constantly does and thinks about silly things, the worst thing is that if that were the only case, it would be possible to characterize only MC as childish, but everyone acts stupid along with him. The problem is not being childish, but knowing that people don't act like that, unfortunately...

3mth
NunuXD
NunuXDLv12

The ADHD on this mc is very intense... I really love twilight fics, but I'd hard to read when the Mc can't focus on anything for more than 100 words :/

3mth
Leonardo_Henrique_0539
Leonardo_Henrique_0539Lv12

Author, everything is great with you. Don't abandon your readers; I can't stand unfinished fanfics anymore. I'm almost giving up on reading because of this. Your story is incredible! Just one thing: if you're going to do a harem, please make it make sense, hahaha.

4mth
Zeroren
ZerorenLv3

So I had to give up reading this and stopped at chapter 58. I'm the type of person to ignore reviews and judge the story myself whether it is good or not but for this I should have listened to the more bad reviews because they really did tell the truth. First off let me say this the story is decent it not great but it isn't terrible. The major problem with the story is like what everyone else has said the MC is horribly written. I will use this to describe him as a twelve-year-old who suffers from bipolar with some adhd thrown in while taking Adderall like candy. I hope someday this gets rewritten honestly keep the story the same but change the way the MC acts and this will instantly become a 5/5 novel in my book.

1mth
PsyLoRD
PsyLoRDLv5

Honestly, the story itself is not that bad BUT i just cant stand the MC, i would stay away from anyone like him irl, i feel like he has mental impairment.

3mth
Lucius_SS
Lucius_SSLv4

I really want to like this fic, but I've come to realize that even with so many chapters coming out. A lot of them have nothing of importance going on. If he combined maybe 2-3 chapters together, it might help and make paying for a chapter actually worth it. This story so far has been extremely casual and maybe slice of life-ish(not sure if im using that right). Something interesting might happen one chapter and then nothing for the next few after. It feels way too slow. I dont know how to feel about the mc. He's not terrible, but he has his glaring flaws, which can be annoying.

2mth
abyss_of_darkness
abyss_of_darknessLv10

beta MC, no calculation , just a fool, if its been real world mc won't be alive after 10 chapters. ............................................................

1mth
Caden_Dugan
Caden_DuganLv13

I like it so far hope you continue it!!!

4mth
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