Frankly, this was my first time reading a game-based story, so I wasn't sure what to expect. The way the story brings in both game-world and fantasy elements is amazing. The plot-line is very detailed and vibrant, and progresses at a good pace. I feel you could add actual sounds instead of writing about it.....like "clunk, crash, etc." instead of *Sound of rock falling*. Might add more vigor and intensity to the actual action. But it's a really good piece of work. Keep it up.
Yetano
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