DaoistNotAvilable

Thank you for the great review. :)

Thank you so much. :)

Thanks for the very detailed and critical review. Helps me a lot. I will go back and check the chapters for the grammatical errors again. no....i don't have a name generator. trying to come up with them from my imagination, and it is really very hard work :))

Thanks for the very detailed and critical review. Helps me a lot. I will go back and check the chapters for the grammatical errors again. no....i don't have a name generator. trying to come up with them from my imagination, and it is really very hard work :))

You could try breaking down the paragraphs. Too many lines visually seem a lot for a reader. Also, there are a lot of different situations taking place in one chapter. Try separating the different segments with a line or something. For the reader it will become clearer, otherwise I was a bit confused when I read from one segment to another and suddenly couldn't connect. But really good start.

The FL is pretty feisty, works hard and does exactly what she decides. Loved the way she just kicked all party-goers out of the house. The three kids of the benefactors have very clear personalities, and the relation between the FL and each of them is well portrayed. Very good work.

Will completely ignore the minor grammatical errors, since I found this to be a beautiful piece of writing. The frustrations and helplessness of the FL comes out so clearly through the various real and dream situations. The different relations and personal chemistry of the FL with different characters is well portrayed. Very good work.

The detailing of the world is very good. Also the different characters and the different professions which might exist in such a world. A very good piece of work.

I personally find the detailing a bit too heavy, but love the storyline. the characters are well defined, and sequences well spaced. would love to see more chapters. Good work.

The story is very hardcore and gripping right from the beginning. in a post apocalyptic world, how people survive and live on from day-to-day is very well written, also giving space to their emotions and frustrations. Very good work.