Review Detail of Delusion10 in Overlord: Reborn as an NPC
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A shameless 4 Star review for myself because why not. The reason why I didn't give myself 5 Stars is that let's get real here. My fanfic isn't perfect. There are bound to be plot holes in my character and story because this is my first attempt at a proper piece of writing. Though as of writing, there are only 7 chapters, I hope you can provide me proper and helpful feedback about anything. I can only improve my writing if I have the proper advice. (Please don't be too harsh I'm only a freshman in High School) The story is inspired by MidasMan, the author of 'Yellowness' on fanfiction.net. I got permission to borrow some elements of the story but that's it. The story will change completely in a few chapters :)
Overlord: Reborn as an NPC
Delusion10
Được 50 người thích
giốngTrả lời23
Numix:are you going to write mha glitched reality fic cause if you don't want, i would love to continue that fic
I have some feedback from the latest chapter 12, I find sections of it (in the nicest way) annoying. I'm not Sure if that is what you were going for... if it is you're doing a good job. It's mainly the Shalltear and Esdeath situation with mc, I think I'm annoyed with how the mc just doesn't do anything. For example: The mc could've said when the 2 thirsty women came in to be his adventuring partner "There's a reason Ainz chose Narberal first over any other Guardian, if he was choosing based on power he would choose Shalltear, but he didn't, I would like to take someone like Narberal who doesn't kill every human in sight" and then give a jab at Shalltear for getting brainwashed. In that situation you could even still have the both of them come with mc, but my point is MAKE THE MC DO SOMETHING. To not make this all negative, I really liked the part where the mc and Demiurge discus Ainz's plans, that part I thoroughly enjoyed, and would like to see more of that
VoteRat:I have some feedback from the latest chapter 12, I find sections of it (in the nicest way) annoying. I'm not Sure if that is what you were going for... if it is you're doing a good job. It's mainly the Shalltear and Esdeath situation with mc, I think I'm annoyed with how the mc just doesn't do anything. For example: The mc could've said when the 2 thirsty women came in to be his adventuring partner "There's a reason Ainz chose Narberal first over any other Guardian, if he was choosing based on power he would choose Shalltear, but he didn't, I would like to take someone like Narberal who doesn't kill every human in sight" and then give a jab at Shalltear for getting brainwashed. In that situation you could even still have the both of them come with mc, but my point is MAKE THE MC DO SOMETHING. To not make this all negative, I really liked the part where the mc and Demiurge discus Ainz's plans, that part I thoroughly enjoyed, and would like to see more of that
ThanatosGreekGod:can you update quicker? For a month or two now i’ve been excited to read this but it’s chapter count is just too low for me to do it
ThanatosGreekGod:are they truly? I don’t wanna start it without having something to read
there is even an author's note that says "sorry this chapter is 1,000 words less than the other ones". 1,000 being the minimum I would allow for any chapter.
ThanatosGreekGod:are they truly? I don’t wanna start it without having something to read
