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asdsdaasd

Lv1

nnoono

2022-10-11 JoinedUnited States
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Writing

0.5h

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122

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4
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24
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    It may have a plot, I suppose. I feel that asking questions or chatting about guys these men that is more significant than imparting meaningless knowledge or what appears to be trivial. You should start the tale right away because if the first few lines don't grab readers' attention, you've already lost them. However, I believe the narrative is ok, and the grammar was fine.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    The novel was generally fine. There didn't seem to be much of a grammar problem. The plot moved along rather well. It was on topic and had a respectable quantity of details.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    Although I assume it was sufficient I do believe there might have been more background information and perhaps even more emotions. Just because you use bad words doesn't imply they are truly mad. I must question if he returned to his planet in chapter 2. Does he not remember this, or is this a flashback? But other from that, I guess everything went OK.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    I believed that this book had a special concept. However, there are several places where you might do better. For instance, expanding your vocabulary to make it less apparent. Additionally, I noticed a few grammar mistakes as I was reading your book. For instance, in the beginning of chapter 2, you failed to capitalize one of the terms.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    Although it was a very original book, I thought it might have been stronger. You are required to capitalize the initial letters of every sentence, but you neglected to do so in several of them. I'd appreciate it if you could address it as soon as you can. It wouldn't hurt to attempt to correct some grammatical errors using the free Grammarly tool.

    This book has been deleted.
  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    I just read the first few pages, but I have to admit that they were rather excellent. They were really specific. The length of several of your paragraphs was the only thing I found problematic. It's not a terrible thing, but because there are so many words packed into this short area, it can confuse your readers.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    Your book was alright, I guess, but the one thing I didn't like about it was the lack of vocabulary. You seemed to be using a lot of the same phrases repeatedly. However, other from that, I believe it was a fine book.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    Since I had never heard of the concept of pairing up two individuals from such different worlds, I think it was a fine story. I also found it interesting that the male main character didn't indicate that he was also like the female character. This story doesn't start off by giving the main characters a ton of authority, which I thought was a pleasant change from previous books. It enables things to accumulate.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    Although I wouldn't say it was the finest novel I've ever read, it was still rather good considering it was your first. The noises were the only thing that bothered me; yes, I realize that you repeated them to let the reader comprehend that they were sounds. I thought some of the laughter was inappropriate, though it may have just been "ha ha" or "haha." Some noises also were. The ticks rather than repeat could of be "the tick repeated over and over again." rathe than tick tick tick tick.

  • asdsdaasd
    asdsdaasd2 years ago
    Posted

    The novel itself piqued my attention to read more because it was written rather effectively. The general point of view was the one thing that did slightly perplex me. Why does that matter? However, aside from that, it was a good novel; keep up the good job.