I_Am_Zeron
Part-time college student dabbling in fanfiction.
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not enough lucifer stories
Hecate = best girl
Ah well, I did say this was AU and I like it better like this. Now that you say that I think you are right, I think I remember him saying something about it being difficult to block people's thoughts out. Hmmm, doesn't matter I guess, Edward and Edythe are basically undead Professor X in my fanfiction.
The way that I understand Edward's telepathy is that he has to actively focus on someone to hear their thoughts as opposed to Jasper who constantly senses the emotions of everyone around him (at least in my headcanon he does). OC was hiding amongst the normal rabble of the town when he spied on them but Jasper was able to feel the incredibly strong emotions that erupted from within OC after not seeing his sister for over 90 years. I will break up this segment and try to explain better where he caught glimpses of the Cullens. The events of this paragraph are supposed to occur over several days of careful observation, I don't think I made that very clear so just keep an eye out and you will see when I edit it that hopefully fixes some things.
The way that I understand Edward's telepathy is that he has to actively focus on someone to hear their thoughts as opposed to Jasper who constantly senses the emotions of everyone around him (at least in my headcanon he does). OC was hiding amongst the normal rabble of the town when he spied on them but Jasper was able to feel the incredibly strong emotions that erupted from within OC after not seeing his sister for over 90 years. I will break up this segment and try to explain better where he caught glimpses of the Cullens. The events of this paragraph are supposed to occur over several days of careful observation, I don't think I made that very clear so just keep an eye out and you will see when I edit it that hopefully fixes some things.
I get it, but the "vegetarian" diet is something that he didn't always follow. Future flashbacks will reveal a time of his vampiric existence where he was basically a hardcore vigilante who slaughtered entire street gangs and mafia families, etc. There will be an explanation of why he switched to an animal-only diet eventually just keep an open mind. Thanks for the read and comment!
Stream of consciousness is what I mean. The OC is badly injured still so he is in a lot of pain and has just received news that the younger sister that he has spent his whole life protecting has died. It has utterly crushed him and practically sapped his will to live. I will edit more over time but keep in mind that he is in a pretty bad state of mind at the moment.
lol, I promise that I will. I am working on the next chapter right now and it should be out by Saturday, maybe Sunday morning. It is a long one with a bunch of POVs so we get to see the reactions and initial thoughts of the Cullen family toward the appearance of our OC. The chapter after that will be out by next weekend as I am doing research and watching videos of martial arts so I can write a well-choreographed fight scene without making the OC too OP so it will take a bit of time. Thank you for the support my friend, I never expected anyone to actually want to read this if I am being honest, I just started writing it because I couldn't find any other Twilight fanfics that I really liked.
This one does need some editing. Thank you for pointing this out.
I understand your critique but I am going for a certain style with these POV shots. It is supposed to be more train-of-thought so it is going to be a bit rambly. Especially because people don't think in paragraphs.
Although the MC is 52 when he is turned, vampires lose all their wrinkles, scars, birthmarks, etc., when they are turned so with the exception of the salt-and-pepper hair and beard he looks like he's about 30. If I was good with Photoshop I would edit the photo on the cover to remove his wrinkles and age lines as well as make him slightly paler but I am incapable of doing such a thing.