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ujjwalanushka34

ujjwalanushka34

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2020-12-01 đã tham giaMalaysia
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123
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
     công bố

    Hey, I read the first chapter and I must say, you have done an incredible job setting up the plot. The idea is quite intriguing and I'm going to continue reading it. Well done. Keep writing!

    Haklaran Hunter
    Kỳ huyễn · Saviour_Ibok_4011
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    is not at

    **One but powerful. Estimated age is at 3**
    Haklaran Hunter
    Kỳ huyễn · Saviour_Ibok_4011
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
     công bố

    Heyy, I just started reading your book and this is so interesting. Poetry has always been something I have been intrigued by, so this book is a YES for me. You are doing a very good job. Keep going.!!

    The History of the Human Heart
    Kỳ huyễn · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    I love the "place to love the unloved" part.

    They were mirrors to a world that only celestial beings transcended through; a place to love the unloved. Past the beating of hearts and into the Garden of Eden.
    The History of the Human Heart
    Kỳ huyễn · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
     công bố

    BROOO, I love the way you write. It has a very smooth and unique flow. You got loads of talents. Keep writing. Your story has the drama, the intensity, basically anything a reader will ask.

    Top Gun Unlimited
    Võ hiệp · Faysal_Ahmed_5058
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    I love the hook, super intriguingg

    Ch 1 Starts With A Tragedy
    Top Gun Unlimited
    Võ hiệp · Faysal_Ahmed_5058
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
     công bố

    Hey, so I read the first two chapters. The plot is quite interesting and very well set. I love the way you have written the story. It has a smooth flow. Keep writing!!

    Into Your Blood And Bones
    Kỳ huyễn · _Rain
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    Use smth else instead of perk, it doesn't go well with the scenario you're creating

    Her ears perked up at the slow approaching footsteps. Turning around, a gasp escaped her lips when she saw a shadow before her. Those pair of black eyes staring into her soul making her fret. Panicking, She grabbed onto the handle as she turned around and entered the room, closing the door behind her shut. Her breathing stopped when her eyes fell on the room.
    Into Your Blood And Bones
    Kỳ huyễn · _Rain
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    It would sound better if you say her footsteps echoed in the darkness

    In the darkness, her footsteps echoed as she desperately searched a way out of this hell. Skyla cried silently as she ran aimlessly in the darkness. Her feet stopped when she faced a black door, making her gulp in fear.
    Into Your Blood And Bones
    Kỳ huyễn · _Rain
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
     công bố

    So far I am loving the concept. And the title is catchy too. I love how you stitch everything together to make complete sense. It's just a suggestion, maybe break down the chapters more? It just makes readers feel more satisfied with themselves when they read more chapters if that makes sense. Keep writing! I am so proud of you!!!

    NPC Code: Red Riding Hood
    Kỳ huyễn · kuhaku_sora
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    Break down the sentence, it is a runoff.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    How-not to be an Olympian God!
    Kỳ huyễn · Venusean
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    Removing has would be better

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    How-not to be an Olympian God!
    Kỳ huyễn · Venusean
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    Ahaha love that

    Alex, by that logic, was therefore cheap and empty junk.
    How-not to be an Olympian God!
    Kỳ huyễn · Venusean
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    I am confused. Is he already into corporate lifestyle or not?

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    How-not to be an Olympian God!
    Kỳ huyễn · Venusean
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    ✨The story of my life ✨

    To be good at everything, yet great at nothing, that was the fate Alex had 'endured' all his life
    How-not to be an Olympian God!
    Kỳ huyễn · Venusean
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    The Vivian and Allery part is confusing. I would suggest clearing this scene out more.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Devil Child
    LGBT+ · SEP1A
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    trả lời SEP1A

    Thank you for taking out the time to read!

    Scar : It's you
    Khoa huyễn · ujjwalanushka34
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    trả lời Venusean

    Thank you for your feedback!

    Scar : It's you
    Khoa huyễn · ujjwalanushka34
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    lied down on her bed and buried

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Flowers, Crowns and love
    Lịch sử · modestbaddie
    detail
  • ujjwalanushka34
    ujjwalanushka342yr
    bình luận

    take the comma off

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Flowers, Crowns and love
    Lịch sử · modestbaddie
    detail