The chapter was a good pace, and give a good picture of the story while I was reading.

Thanks for the review. I self edit all my stuff and also it help me improve as a writer but I do reread my stuff and see the errors. I do come back and change it later on. Keep reading it. It does gets better along the way.

Lets do it.

I said west twice but the last part is the east.

The MC have a split personality so that why it was confusing. I going to explain later on. Thanks for the review.

The story have potential and how the set goal of which each character is going to have to overcome in the story and how the author did that in the story, but there is grammar errors, but every story have grammar errors. It give the author more room to improve and involve the creation of your storytelling. Keep it up author

Some words need to be capitalize. The story is great, but that old man is up something. Nice touch putting in shaman. A MC that is inbetween her sister and mother. The grandmother is more mysterious. The story gave potentials but grammar need to be corrected.

That knife and pepper spray going to be useless.

Don’t follow.🤦🏽

I don’t know what culture shaman come from but it can be build a lot of storytelling.

This old man up something.

That guy going to come up later.

Okay. I skip some years due to his spilt personality. He created of the events he suffer. I will explain that later on, but that why it is confusing.

I fix the grammar errors later and Soul games can also be confusing so I try to make it mystery. Also thank you for the review

The story at first was peaceful and felt with emotion and at first, he had me when he wrote it at first, but after reading it further it will hit with a punch and you will ask yourself what is going on in a good way.

I see the hint of it being all within his head, but it was surprising that he was eating the cake by himself. It feels cool when you eat alone though. Good start.

From a dream to a nightmare.

Telling the object is like the person is a good comparison when it comes to personalities and describing the behavior of people.

Thanks. I will correct the grammar errors later on. Then come back through and tell me what you think then.

The story is well deserve the design of the story and the plot so far in the prologue leave to the imagination of the MC. I like the way the author deliver the mystery and dark tone of the mother.