fallenknight90
I love to read and learn new things or get better with my skills
Bài viết
đang đọc
2907
Đọc sách
hello author I am currently writing this to you in regards to your story and I gotta say it's very good and I'm amazed at how you write the story and the level of details.I applaud you for your hard work and if you keep writing your dxd story until the end and hopefully your next story will be as good as your previous story.......p.s make them more smutty and take your time with it
in my opinion the main character develops his strength and dungeon to a proper degree dance set out in his journey to get stronger while Sophie evolves or ranks up until a hobgoblin or something else so to make herself more useful and more impact later on. and lastly add an harem in the MC dungeon and not the generic types that mc helps or save the girls. i want the mc character to enslaved and capture all kinds of female of any tuypes
This storyline so far is good if you are aiming for either a crazed cult leader or The Mc character uses his system to make a harem of crazed worshipers and that's cool.but make it longer and more details in the story and sex stuff if you wanted this story to be more enjoyable. And lastly tried to update the story once a week or more to get the chapters more enjoyable with each chapter.
Your story is interesting and different from what I'm used to and it's not bad but it needs more work to get the story to a new level and your take on using Wednesday and Enid for your story but you need to age them up to around 18 or 17 and it will be okay to use them whenever you like.And lastly please don't stray from your angle of the marvel story and don't make to much side story from the plot and if you doing the dungeon master thing.you must make the appearing of dungeon so sudden.p.s make longer and more details and take your time with it and if you remake the story you need aid more sexual stuff with more details to help get more readers. I'm sorry if I sound pushy about this because a lot of people keep discarding good stories
You should make the story longer for more enjoyment for the readers and slowly build the set up in the mood to get the reader aroused. it would get more people invested in your story. You should slowly corrupt Wednesday into a darker version of herself and show details how it happens as the mc hunts other girls that caught his eyes and also show more details about the dungeon because not everything has to be about fucking and mind breaking girls. it's need also be a conflict marvel and all the movies and tv shows characters ether stumble onto the dungeon or lure to it. and lastly pace yourself and take your time because I want to see if you have it's takes to make it here. p.s if you get stuck read darkshiro story in fanfiction.net for reference and idea
this is not bad as the storyline seems like it's heading to a massive war scale and I like it because it helps put you into a movie like situation with hint of romance and to get this story higher ranks. you need to have erotic scene that bring in more readers to love it. you also need some good old drama to bring spices in the storyline and lastly you have a choice between a harem or playboy because you can earn more readers than before and ranked higher than before and keep getting better.
this story is fucking amazing and I hope you keep going to write more chapters because this story will be one of the best stories that I ever read for a newbie but don't be discouraged about it. you need practice more and try to make it longer than before and take your time for it. and if you need help with writing. just ask the reader's for help because some of them may have great idea for you and learn more about r-18 because the one you made is okay but I can you can do it so much better.
This story seems like it going to be good but it needs to be more information about the main character and how he/she will be. but the overall ideas need to be long enough to make the readers enjoy it. and it's need to take it's time and don't give up on it because if you ran out of ideas because the readers can help you out with the story if you need it. And lastly good luck.