1- Her (Pan)

Nothing can compare to our bed. Fluffy, springy bed with pillows, lots of it. A fresh duvet in pastel, with a cool breeze that swipes the morning curtain. The sunshine that pierces the skin...

Sun...shine?

"Ai shia!"

Damn, what time is it? Am I late? Please don't tell me I'm late!!

I grab my phone on the side table.

6 am.

Fuh, I'm saved!

Slowly, I wake up from the bed while tying my hair in a bun.

First thing first, a glass of water.

Then, make the bed.

I smack those pillows and let them dry under the morning Sun. I love the smell of crisp fabric. Then, I lay down the duvet, folding it into two before placing it on the down part of the bed. A touch of exclusivity, just like at the hotel.

A great kickstart of the day. Superb!

Now, let's tackle the kitchen!

***

Luckily, I managed to wash the dishes last night. Or else, the kitchen will be in a wreck! So, what's left is making a hearty breakfast. I take out leftover rice, some veggies, eggs, and sausages from the refrigerator.

Let's start cooking...

"Maaa.."

Oh no!

I can hear those tiny footsteps coming towards me. From afar, I can see a big bunny ear flop down. Those long legs sweep the wooden floor.

"Bunny! Why are you waking up this early?"

"You make a noise, ma. I can't sleep anymore!" those cutie lips pout as she flops onto the sofa. I leave the kitchen for a while and walk towards her.

"If you wake up this early, you might end up sleeping at the school later," I pat her so she can go back to sleep.

"We have a nap time. Don't worry..."

"You will get drowsy even before that,"

"Ma... I don't wanna sleep back. Lemme help you..." there she goes, whining again! If I tell her no, she will keep whining all day long!

"Fine... Fine... Let's make breakfast together!" she immediately jumps down from the sofa and runs towards the kitchen.

I can only shake my head in disbelief! She's four but she rules the house.

That's my girl, for sure!

I let her wash the veggies and stir occasionally. She pays a lot of attention while watching me cook.

She's four but acts like a growing-up person.

"Ma, Aunty Mei said you'll go to school, too. Is it true?" she asks. I look at her and nod.

"So, both of us are going to school together?"

"No. I will go to my school and Shu will go to Shu's school," I bob her nose.

"Ah, I thought we were going to the same school. It feels weird, because everyone is a kid and suddenly you attend as an adult. Now, that makes sense!"

I chuckle a bit.

Shu is a grown-up in the form of a kid. She can digest information and understand the situation so well. There's no problem to tell her about something. She will get the point in her way.

I'm grateful to have Shu in my life as a daughter. When she was still an infant, life was tough for me. I didn't realize that I was pregnant when I left Zee. After I found out that I was pregnant, things got changed. I'm supposed to enroll the college, but I need to forgo my dreams for the sake of Shu.

Thanks to Sofia, I managed to survive during the pregnancy. I was lost and almost this close to abort Shu. As a 19-year-old, there's nothing much that I know about babies or pregnancy. I cried aloud when the doctor broke the news to me. My life was dark and fuzzy. But Sofia brought hope in me.

"The baby is not guilty. You're not a victim. This is probably a blessing from God. Believe me. Don't throw it away, please!"

Until now, I could hear her plead when I told her I was gonna abort the pregnancy.

To be honest, even after that, I did try to kill myself a few times. My suicidal thoughts stopped when Shu was 2 months old.

Life was rough at that time.

I lost myself so many times that even I lost track of it. But, one night, I look at Shu's eyes. She was staring at me, giving me a look of hopefulness.

I'm thinking about myself after that. Reflected all of my actions. I should be a good person for the sake of my future. Shu is counting on me. I don't want Shu ends up growing up like me!

That's when I decided to go back on track.

I started my homemade food delivery with the help of Sofia and Dan, her now husband. We begin small, at that time both of them were still students. Our target customer is their friends from college and some people from my neighborhood.

After four years, we managed to open a small shop just a few blocks away from my house. Yes, I managed to buy a small house, for Shu and me. It's an old house but feels homey. I got it from the district office through an auction. I'm proud to say that I'm successful on my own. Of course with a million help from Sofia, Dan, and Mei.

Now, I'm one step closer to one of my dreams; further my study. The last time, I failed to enroll because I got pregnant. Years after years I save up for this moment.

Every hard work pays off!

"Shu, ma will get busy after this. So, you need to spend time with Aunt Sofia, Uncle Dan, and Winny. Don't worry, I will make some time for you as well. But, until then, Shu needs to listen to Aunt Sofia and Aunt Mei. Okay?" I rub her cheek a few times. Shu watches me with her big, puppy eyes.

That hopeful gaze melts me away.

"I know. Don't worry, Ma! I'll be a good girl for you. But, you have to promise me that you will work hard at school!"

I chuckle a bit. Shu is using my words against me. I always told her to work hard at school. Now, she's passing back my advice to me.

"Okay. I promise. Now, give me a big hug..."

Shu snakes her hands around my neck. I hug her tight, holding my tears. Shu is the best thing that happened to me. I have no regrets having her as my daughter.

"I love you, ma..."

"Ma loves you too, Shu