CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY TWO

Jer's voice thundered over my head, his heartbeat loud and fast, against my chest, beating rapidly.

I froze in his arms when he shouts at me, something, he's never done before, ever!

Clutching Jer's T-shirt tightly afraid to let go, even though he sounds angry at my admission, but he's the only one I talk to about my fears.

Grabbing my shoulders, "what aren't you telling us about the C-Section?" He demanded, his eyes glistering, with unshed tears.

Shaking my head, realizing I'm once again scaring my brother who is to young for this type of burden, but then again I have wishes to be fulfilled and Jer's the only one I trust to listen and trust to fulfill them.

"Talk to me Jamie, please," Jer beseeches me.

Putting my head against his chest once again, "it's not the C-Section" I whispered. "It's the surgery following the birth." wrapping my hands around his chest sobbing my heart out.

Having the C-Section at seven months, brings up the date of the major surgery which means, my time with family could be limited just as my time with my baby. There'll be no time for bonding.

Drawing myself out of his arms, "I have so much to so. I want to make keepsakes for him and I want to purchase some fabrics to start with." I quickly explained, opening my phone through tears to show him my choices, not meeting his gaze. "I want to start with a quilt," I explained the reason for the fabrics.

"Jamie," Jer whispers, "you're all I have please, you're so much stronger than this. You're a fighter, please don't give up now." Jer pleads with me.

"I also want to see Jess one more time before the surgery." I also admitted, sensing Jer tensing up at the mention of Jess's name.

"Do you think Whiz can hook up a video chat?" I wondered aloud.

Jer remained silent and didn't respond to my request, keeping his eyes downwards.

I quickly wiped my eyes, face and nose trying to eliminate evidence of me crying my heart out just a few seconds ago.

I'm over my pity party! I'm ready to prepare for what my future holds, even though it pains me, I have to, just as grams taught me.

"So I need two things from you today," I explained to my silent brother. "I need you to pick up the materials for the quile and I need to see Whiz," I instructed him, my tone final. Jer lifted his eyes to mines, his bland expression giving nothing away, except that maybe, he won't be cooperating with me.

Staring into his dark expressionless eyes, I wait for his response.

"Whiz now needs authorization from Gray before making restricted calls," my eyes narrowed at Jer's response but I tried to hide it, realizing I will have to chose another way to reach Jessica, but how?

Frowning, "I know you're planning something, but keep me out of it." Jer stood up angrily, but I'm not deterred. He's afraid of Logan, not me but I need to make peace with my sister in case things go differently for me after the baby is born. At least she would remember, I love her still which is all I need and going out into the city to make the call would work in my favour in case Logan's grandfather traced my call.

No one would be willing to understand it but Jess is still my sister and even if I don't make it, she needs to know i left a piece of my heart with her.

Stretching out his hand, "what am I suppose to pick up for you?" He asks his voice cold, sounding removed from the compassionate brother who moments ago comforted me.

Jessica!

His demeanor changed when I spoke Jessica's name!

"Take me with you," I requested firmly hoping he respects me enough to be supportive of me and not just be obedient to Logan.

Shaking his head, he laughs nervously, "oh no! No, no no!" backing away with a smirk, "not today," he continues, "I'm not getting myself in the middle of any war between you and your husband." He continued walking backwards out of the living room.

Turning, "call me when you've place the order for the fabrics," his chuckles lost in the distance.

I was tempted to throw my phone behind his retreating back but, I dialed Cameron instead to pick up my order because my brother's allegiance is to his brother-in-law.

I'll show him! I don't need him to help me with my errards!

"Mrs. Daniels" Cameron answered after the third ring. "What a pleasant surprise," he continues causally.

Cameron didn't speak to me at dad's birthday celebrations and after Logan mention the crush thing, I didn't want to embarrass him, but today is not about crush, today is about work.

"Cameron, I'm sorry to bother you, but I need something picked up in the city and delivered to me but Logan is out with Justin and my brother is also busy," I quickly explained my reason for calling.

Chucking on the other end. "Ah, so you need me to pick it up for you?" He asks and I paused, because I don't want him to think I consider him an errand boy.

Suddenly I was unsure about getting him involved in my problems with my husband and my brother.

"Jamie?" Cameron chuckles, "I was just kidding." He laughs softly.

What do I do? What do I do?

"Actually, I wondered if you could have spared someone to pick it up for me, because I'm aware Logan has you on special duties," I joked, but couldn't laugh because of my embarrassment.

"Yeah, but the way I heard it, my special duties would be coming to an end, soon." Cameron answered casually, his response tickling my curiosity.

How do I find out about his special assignment that's ending soon?

"Jamie?" Cameron calls, while I frantically tackle my brain.