Chapter 2

Bonnie is not going to die, Tina told herself fiercely. She was mostly sure of that, but only mostly.

A lump leaped into her throat as soon as she had that thought, and she closed her eyes hard to stop them from producing tears. Keep moving.Tina grabbed a tray from a rack next to the doorway and started hunting for whatever food seemed least disgusting.

She didn’t know when Bonnie’s family would consider it appropriate for her to go back to the hospital room. As she spooned a floppy-looking vegetable medley onto her tray, Tina glanced at the clock. It was six now, and general visiting hours closed at eight. She clutched the serving spoon harder. The backpack she wore seemed to get even heavier. She’d brought books and homework, but she didn’t want to look at or even think about them. Tina felt over her head and confused about what to do.

Should she just give up for the day and go home? They were still doing lots of tests on Bonnie. The doctor had said earlier that they’d probably need to keep her overnight again.

On the other hand, the thought of leaving before she had to made Tina’s stomach twist. What if there was news? What if Bonnie needed her?

She paid for the floppy vegetables and sat in a back corner of the cafeteria, directly under the blaring television so she wouldn’t have to look at it. She flipped through messages on her phone—their friends from school were being really supportive—and took a couple of halfhearted bites. Before long, Tina gave in to temptation and opened up the photos on Bonnie’s Facebook page. They were sophomores now, and the past year and change had given them plenty of time to totally intertwine their lives. There were dozens of shots of them together, all over Alabama it seemed, laughing with friends, arms around each other, kissing. Being together.

Tina lingered over one picture a friend had taken at Dauphin Island. Bonnie was looking out toward the gulf, her long dark hair blown across her face and partially screening her dimpled smile. Tina was looking in a totally different direction, smiling to herself. On the surface, they didn’t seem to be paying attention to each other. The shorter Bonnie, however, was nestled cozily against Tina’s side. Tina’s arm wrapped around her casually but sweetly. Bonnie had reached up to clasp Tina’s forearm with one hand.

Tina couldn’t stop looking at that hand. She and Bonnie probably hadn’t thought anything of the touch at the time. It had been just another small, affectionate touch, the kind they shared many times a day.

Now, it filled her eyes with tears to see it. What if something did go wrong and Bonnie died? Then Tina would never have that touch again. She wished she’d paid more attention in that moment on Dauphin Island. Why had she been looking away? What could possibly have been more important than Bonnie’s face?

Then there was the more immediate pain. With Bonnie’s family around, Tina couldn’t take that touch for granted anymore. She couldn’t just reach for Bonnie thoughtlessly. Every gesture had to be calculated now. Sometimes, as had happened the moment Bonnie’s mother had thrown her out of the hospital room, she’d inevitably calculate wrong.

She continued eating mechanically, her thoughts too swirling and chaotic for her to make any sense of them. She finished the vegetables and made a few more eating motions before she noticed there wasn’t anything on her fork. She answered messages from some of her closest friends and sent a longer message to her sister in Charleston, explaining Bonnie’s situation, talking about how it made her think of their grandpa, and confessing how Bonnie’s family was making her feel. Tina trusted her sister to understand her feelings without deciding she was selfish for having them.

Then the phone buzzed. Tina squinted at the screen. Bonnie wasn’t supposed to be using her phone in the hospital room, was she? Tina thought there was some rule about how the phone might disrupt nearby machines or something.

Her heart pounded as she thumbed the message open. They’re gone, Bonnie had written. Please come back as soon as you can. I have to talk to you about something.

Tina was on her feet and out the door so quickly, she barely remembered to return the tray. 2: Will You Be My Family?

The sight of Tina made Bonnie let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Or maybe it was more like taking in a breath, as if there was oxygen in the room for the first time since her mom had intimidated her girlfriend into leaving.

Before she could manage a word, Bonnie reached out a hand to Tina. Tears surged to her eyes when Tina rushed over and took it.