13.

Like I said, I fought hard for Sam. Often times, I fought with Sam to keep Sam - and it was draining every ounce of my patience I had left.

But it was so easy with him, so natural.

Like puzzle pieces.

After Sam had agreed that we needed to be open to trying to be more affectionate with one another, I thought that things would escalate fairly quickly after that night. The weekend passed however, and he still wasn't giving me any signs. Whilst we did spend the weekend together, cuddled up in each other's company, not caring for any assignments after making sure that we had both cleared our schedules, there hung no sexual tension in the air between us.

Our kisses lingered for a second longer, and our fingers had begun to naturally lace together, but even then it felt like there was an element to it that was just missing - and I couldn't put my finger on it. What didn't help is that my mind would decide to think of Theo at the most random times of day, like when I was cooking our dinner on Saturday night or during my quick jog around the block on Sunday morning. He just kept popping up, flashes of his infuriating smirk, of his eyes, of his tattoo, that I wanted so badly to trace my fingers over and ask him a million questions about. I've always wanted a tattoo, but I was scared to think of what people would say - especially my parents, whose opinions seemed to matter the most still, even after everything.

Monday morning we were expected at practice. I still felt so incredibly guilty about the fact that Sam still didn't know about my secret. I told this boy everything about me, and so it was hard to keep such a huge change to my schedule to myself - I was surprised when he had stopped asking why I'd always come home so late, for a while anyway. It was as if most of our issues were resolved, but one question remained - could we really take this to the next step?

"You're arching your back too much," Mia giggled, and I laughed in response, by this point fully giving in to the fact that I'll never quite master this routine as well as the other girls. Yasmine side-eyed me the entire time, and I tried my hardest not to look her way during the full two hours. I couldn't erase her stupid smile from my mind that day at the cafe, when she had entertained Theo and he had given in. I couldn't even be mad with him - he wasn't mine to be mad with, and he had done nothing wrong. But then I would remember how I thought of him while pleasuring myself for the first time, and how he would literally not escape my mind for the rest of the night after a heated conversation, and couldn't help but get mad at him for it after all. He irritated the absolute shit out of me, and I hated him for it.

"So, Dove," Yasmine and Mia begin in unison, and I can't help but laugh mentally at how ridiculous they had looked in this moment, their words and mouths matching in unison, their eyelashes batting in perfect harmony with each other. Like creepy, telepathically bonded twins.

"Why don't you join us at the bonfire on Friday night," Yasmine finishes off.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea guys. Frat houses, campus get togethers - not really my thing."

"Oh come on, this will be nothing like that disastrous frat party we dragged you to the last time. Bonfires are for everyone! Even cute nerds like you," Mia laughs, and I smile at her attempt of an insult. I actually didn't mind being referred to in that way, and I had no idea why people found it so offensive. At least I'll graduate from this college, which is more than I can say for over half the people attending here.

"Nun outfits are encouraged, not to worry!" Yasmine chimes in, and my eyebrows immediately furrow at her unnecessary comment.

"What's that meant to mean?"

"Nothing, it's just you know... girls like you tend to feel uncomfortable in cheerleader uniforms or similar clothing, so they like to stick to the basics."

Girls like me? The basics? Who did this bitch think she is - of course the uniform made me feel uncomfortable - it would make anyone uncomfortable! Not Yasmine though; senior barbies could never be made to feel uncomfortable in anything, even if their outfit barely even covered a few inches of their body.

I think back to how inferior she had made me feel that day in the cafe, how unwelcome she made me feel on my first day at practice. For some reason that I hoped to uncover soon, she was out to get me. I knew it was partly because of my constant run-ins with Theo, which at this point, were unplanned and completely random. I also knew that something weird was going on between the two, that made them act like new friends one day and sneaky links the next. I hated the thought of being someone's friend with benefits - it just sounded so dirty. But I think in Yasmine's case, she had many of those, Theo most likely included. All those times when she had made me feel like I wasn't good enough for the team, for a boy, for a life of partying and living recklessly, purely because I was a freshman with an impeccable GPA and dressed rather conservatively outside the cheerleader uniform - I had to prove to her just as much as I had to prove to myself that I could have a different side to me, and that I could fit in with them.

And so it is for this very reason that I say,

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Great! Bring your boyfriend too!" Mia quickly says, and I see a small, plotting smirk form on Yasmine's lips as she turns her head the other way.

You really couldn't trust these girls with anything, not even the nicer ones.