47 Concerned

Jackson and I didn't speak the next morning. Nor did he call me before bed that night. This was still typical Jackson. When he was starting puberty and his voice had changed, I made fun of him and he didn't come to the club house for a whole week until I finally snuck to his house and stuck a paper to his window saying I was sorry. I know all I needed to do was say it but I also felt we were both in the wrong on this one.

I had picked up the canvas from Sarina's shop and I spent the next evenings drawing up the picture he had requested while I was at home. Ethan had texted me on Wednesday, just to say hello and hope my week has been going well since we last talked. I said it was, even though I wanted to tell him no, but felt like I should keep Jackson's silence to myself.

Now, that I had calmed down I felt guilty for becoming so defensive. I did feel slighted that he seemed to not trust the fact that I could have dinner with Ethan. I knew that Jackson has always had a short fuse, but I felt like he should trust me to know that if I felt Ethan couldn't maintain a friendly demeanor that I would stop him, or leave on my own. At the same time, I understood that he was upset because I didn't take into consideration how he would feel about me meeting up with Ethan without him here.

Not hearing from him only made me put more emotion into the art work he had asked for and it was coming along beautifully. I drew myself naked, with only a warm blanket wrapped around my hips to hide my ass, taking forever to picture it using a mirror and my phone to get the look just right and give me an idea of how my back looked. I could see a few faint scars near my lower back but could easily hide those with the folds of the blanket.

I was putting all my passion into my art when my phone rang Thursday night.

"Hello?" I asked, still focusing on my art instead of the phone.

"Hello, Mel."

My passion deflated as I heard Ethan's voice and I set my pencil down.

"Hi, Ethan. How's your week been?" I ask politely.

"It could have gone better. How has your week been?"

I give a breathy laugh, "Same. I've been working hard on this art piece for Jackson hoping it will make him..." I trail off not wanting to divulge that me and Jackson were not speaking to each other right now because of him.

"Make him what?" Ethan tried to have me finish.

"Make him happy with the outcome. He has so much faith in my abilities and I worry that they won't meet his expectations." I say quietly.

Ethan lets out a chortle, "If he's truly a fan of your art, he'll love it. You shouldn't worry and just let the art come to you naturally." His words comfort me and I know he's right.

"You're right, it's still just my art and.."

"It's important to you. I remember. You used to have that sketchbook and you'd get so frustrated trying to draw what he would look like as an adult."

I pause, he saw me doing that? "You do?"

Ethan coughs as if caught revealing something he didn't think about. "Um yeah. When you were waiting a few times for me for our study time, I saw you sketching away, groaning and starting a new one before dropping your pencil and closing the book before seven. Which is when I would join you."

"How did you know they were of Jackson?" I press.

"When we were dating and I saw it laying out on your coffee table and I asked about it." He reminds me.

I vaguely remember that instance and hum. "That's right. That's when I told you about him."

"Yeah, now you remember." His smile can be heard through the phone.

I sigh and stretch, letting my back loosen up from my drawing. "So are you calling about tomorrow night?"

Ethan seems to collect himself, "I am. I hate to do this, but I need to cancel. My company is having a dinner meeting and my boss wants me there to help go over the contract with him, that way there are no indiscrepancies. Would you like to get together for lunch on Saturday instead?" He sucks in a breath as if awaiting me to respond upset about it.

"Oh, yes. That would be fine. I understand if something comes up or when work is involved." I respond calmly. It's true after all.

He lets out his breath and sighs, "Great, thank you. By the way, I imagine you spoke to Jackson about us running into each other, how did that go?"

I hesitate but Ethan has always been easy to talk to and so I divulge a little bit. "He said he would rather be here to be able to meet you too."

"Oh. That sounds like he's not thrilled about us hanging out." He says apprehensively.

"You're not completely wrong there. .." I trail off, "But it's only because he doesn't know what kind of person you are. He's always been protective of me like that." I add.

"Protective I can understand. I hope I haven't caused any problems between you guys. I don't want to cause an issue in your relationship."

I sigh, "Like I said, he doesn't know you like I do. I had hoped he would have a little more faith in me to not accept an invite from someone if I thought their intentions were less than honorable."

Ethan is quiet for a moment, "I don't know him, so I can't say as to what he's thinking. However, if I were him, it wouldn't have been a lack of faith in you causing my worries. I don't mind waiting until he can meet with me before we hang out Mel. I'm not going anywhere so it's not like we have to rush to spend time together."

My heart pains at Ethan's words and I can't help but sigh. "Thank you Ethan for being understanding and considerate of him. I appreciate it. I'll speak to him eventually and explain what you're suggesting."

"Eventually?" Ethan tosses out. "Have you guys not been speaking to each other because of it?"

I bite my bottom lip, caught. "Well, um..."

"Mel..." Ethan draws out my name like he's about to scold me.

"He's been busy with work, so we just haven't had a lot of free time to talk." I say, feeling guilty. "Besides I feel like we both need to apologize about this, but I have always been the one to apologize first. I want him to speak up first." I quickly defend my reasoning.

"So he's what? Playing the silent treatment with you?" His bewilderment is evident in the way he keeps scoffing and tsking through the phone.

"In a way I guess. He's always had a short fuse though and prefers to distance himself when he's upset." I quickly defend him.

"Mel... Does he get angry with you often like this?"

"No, why?"

"Because the fact that he tries to manipulate you into apologizing by giving you the silent treatment and that he has a short fuse, that raises a red flag to me. Does he seem to want to be controlling of you?" Ethan presses on.

"Controlling? I.." start to tell him I think he's got the wrong idea but then the wanting to be dominant in the bedroom flies through my mind making me hesitate. That's different though... Right?

"Mel? "

"Well, I ... Um well not with my everyday life..but he enjoys it in other aspects..." I fluster my way through that statement and Ethan goes silent.

I'm about to ask if he's still there when Ethan speaks again.

"Enjoys it in other aspects. Are you talking about sexually?" He asks it with tinge of anger in his tone.

Flustered I speak up, "Nothing against my will, Ethan. Now settle down. You're assuming the worse about a topic that is private between Jackson and I."

Ethan huffs, "Fine. You're right. I'm sorry that's a personal and private matter between you two. I just hope he doesn't do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry for adding my two cents in. I'm just concerned for you is all. Maybe we will forget about Saturday at least until he can meet me in person. Alright? I'm going to let you go for now, Mel. I don't want to overstep myself more than I already have. I'll talk to you later." He says his tone slowly showing more emotion than I believe he intended.

"Alright, Ethan. Thank you by the way."

"For what?"

"For still caring about my well being." I add, knowing it was coming from a good place.

He sighs, more emotions than I expected come through that sound, "I'll always care about you Mel. Good night."

"Good night." I pick up my pencil and go to place it back on the canvas, but set it down again instead.

I take a deep breath and think about what I need to do. I then pick up my phone.