CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: I AM DYING

I AM DYING

I find myself laying flat with my back on something soft and hard at the same time. I didn't jerk forward. I open my eyes then it trails to the ceiling. I focus on my breath whilst still looking up. I... I don't know what has taken over me but I feel calmer in a way.

My eyes are still on it, the ceiling. The paintings fascinate me. The constellations are very well detailed. I get up to a sitting position. I find myself with a covering on me. I let it stay at my waist whilst still sitting. I know I am here, boy Nathaniel's house.

I move my head to the left and then consequently to the right closing my eyes and seeing my last moments. "They sure are dead."

I hear a sound as if someone is choking. I didn't turn to look. The sound subsides and I hear the splatters of water against a hard surface. Boy Nathaniel on the sink.

'So, this is what it meant.' He says that to me whilst I still have my back facing him not even moving an inch but still focusing on my breath. I felt something new within me. A foreign substance I haven't identified before.

I hear silence. "Has he left?"

Then all of a sudden, I hear a faint cry in the air. It sounds like an object was just thrown at me. I get up dodging the object, a glass cup. I still hold the covering which was placed over me. I still maintain calmness, unshaken. I look at him from top to bottom, surprise is written all over his face.

He looks at me with a pain in his chest, I suppose. He keeps leaning on one leg with his weight on the sink and I stand confused, trembling not willingly. I try my best in every fight to win. To ascertain all of their features. To keep in mind all their moves so I can attack them with it like how a snake's venom can be used as medicine.

I close my eyes and I see it vividly, all of their expressions - fear. I see the way Nancy made her move on me. They suspect that I might still be alive and there was only one person to check it out. One who is in front of me, boy Nathaniel.

'Aren't you going to say your last words?' He still finds my being alive unbelievable. "Hasn't he watched the contents of the flash? I Ieft it for him intentionally. There wasn't anyone to trust so I had to make that risky decision."

'You had the flash all along but pretended to have not.'

"He has watched its content."

'Answer me !' He is losing it. I stare at boy Nathaniel with indifference. Nothing at this moment can make me tremble when I am avoiding trembling myself. He walks towards me in strides not rushing or running. I see his strides in slow-mo. Very very slow that I could see his next move.

I stand not moving an inch from where I stand. Boy Nathaniel reaches me standing a metre away. "What's he going to do next?" He makes a move to reach for my throat not amateurly, he was skilled.

I move backward making my left side touch his right. He is standing at my left. I move faster than he thought I would, didn't I? He holds breaths releasing them puffs after puffs. He bites his lips and I can see tears coming out of his eyes. I remain unshaken. I am sweating.

He says something. 'Are you at peace? Now that he's gone do you still sleep well?' I didn't say a word. I just look at him feeling all of his emotions. The things in Feline's book were coming to life. The legend is true and I am for a good cause. *scoff*

My ability to feel what another feels is the height of it after numbing me times after times when I was still with Laylah. "Who dictates that I am for the good?"

He says something again but this time in an angry low pitched voice. One that says that any wrong move with my words I was going down. I didn't pick my words. I didn't even care to feel anything he thought of doing.

'Why did you do it?' This time he faces me but half his body stands in front of the half of me to my left side. That means I can still see my reflection in the mirror placed behind him in front of me.

"Do what? Kill him?"

He still faces me. Not shocked at my having no remorse. He is getting used to it.

'Psychopath.'

He uses the same word that the Librarian dared to use five (5) years ago. I let him have his will not getting the better of me.

I in turn stare at myself in the mirror. I am a living mess. My hair is as messy as it can be. My knee-length boots are dirty, stained with mud all over. The jeans I wear had sand all over them. My top is hanging freely at one side whilst the other had a side tucked in. I look at my hand still holding the covering. A light blanket. Multi-colored.

I see a height difference in the mirror. Nathaniel's over me. I let out words that my old self deemed not necessary. 'Yes, I gave him the sedative. So what? Why weren't you there to save him? Where were you? Lazing your arse around. Your mum said to take care of him but you didn't follow her words. So why... How dare you blame it on me now? You participated in his death too so don't you dare try to make yourself feel less guilty. Have you achieved it now? What's the cure for her? There isn't a death cure but I mean you're a medical student perhaps you've come up with one. Is that what you gave me? You didn't give it to your brother? ' *scoff*

He holds me by the neck. My last sentence ticks him off. He feels the urge to squeeze my neck but he fights back. He lets out a puff of air calming himself down. I am trembling. My right hand is shaking so bad. I am not scared but rather a side effect of what Nancy's blade had inflicted on me. They injected me with a deadly poison that causes paralysis. I smelt it on her blade back then. She sure is dead.

Nathaniel notices movements. He looks to where it came from. My hand couldn't conceal it. It has already gone through my whole body affecting my right arm first. He looks at my face and sees me sweating. My veins were prominent as I am fighting it. He let go of me then he goes to sit at the dinning table.

He leaves the premises, where I stand and where he just sat. He comes back with a bag, like a lunch box. I can't see its colours. I am beyond repair. He places it on the table beside me. He opens it up and I see herbs of all kinds. His wealth alone surprises me. How much has been stolen from them to make him this rich? I feel stiff, my limbs can't move. The veins are still prominent. My face is still fixated on what Nathaniel has brought me. I am still sweating. I can't control it. My other arm starts to shake too.

He points at me to have a sit. "I can't move sir!"

He gets up and makes me sit on where I had laid before. "How long did I lay for? Why is he helping me? I killed his brother. Blame. He's blaming himself as I pointed that he should.

He gets a herb wrapped in leaves. 'Eat. It's a temporary relief. You're done for, you know that right?'

"So it's pity." I collect it. To my surprise, I no longer feel stuck so I eat what he gave me. But still, within me, nothing changed.

"Cange, a rare expensive herb. "

'Why didn't you reach for my neck again, you felt that weak?'

He looks at me with empathy now. ' You're dying, have dignity. '

His words strike me. I know I am but he doesn't have to point it out. It hurts more if you know that what you feel is real, the pain. My whole body is eating up. I remember what I said in the mirror and what had happened at the house.

"I'd butcher them," I say with a forced grin on my face.

Nathaniel still kneels in front of me. I am sitting on the couch in front of him. I feel the pain subsiding. I no longer feel friction in my limbs, my joints.

WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?