Let’s return to the real world

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. We have returned to our original location. While things were once again going well, nothing was exactly the same. Everything has changed, and so have we. I would never look at people the same way I did. I went outside today with Felix, and presumably this was supposed to be our last meetup. Yeah, of course he was going to visit me someday, but I don't really think so. If he's gone, then it's just like he's dead. Mason, strangely, let us hang out together. It was pretty weird, but Amy did the same thing. They both knew that our friendship had yet to come to an end. I promised myself to forget about all those factors and just have fun with him today. I just wanted to be with him for the last time, like we used to be. I mean, we did hang out after we started dating Amy and Mason, but it never was the same as it was. I put on my favorite dress and got ready. My phone rang as I was going through our old photos. Oh, how I wish we could turn back time. How I wished I could change his mind. "Hey, you up?" Felix asked with an enthusiastic voice. "Yup! I am ready!" I replied as I slammed the door and ran towards him. Today, I've decided to live the best day of my life ever because I won't get this chance again.

We went out driving for a couple more hours as we had lots of conversations. The best thing was that we turned the music on, and we were both vibing along the way. Everything was going well. "Hey, you know that we are most likely not to meet again, right? I wish we could be together. And yes, I know that we are not like we were in the past. But I am just saying what I hope." He said it in a serious mood. I knew he was being serious, but as I mentioned that I don't want to talk about this, I just pretended I did not hear that. "I know, I know. But let's not talk about that. I know that we can't meet afterwards, and everything else has changed since we started dating Mason and Amy. I don't know when we started to get far away from each other. It all started back then, but everything changed because of both of us. I don't really know what went wrong or how we came to this place. Maybe it's my fault and not yours." I replied. We both went into awkward silence for a minute, and the way he was driving was driving me crazy. The hand thing was so cool. I knew that he was just focusing on driving because he didn't know what to say. "It's not your fault. I know that you noticed my new friends back then. They were desperate for me and Amy to get together for some reasons. And I was just kind of interested in dating at that time, so I decided to hit on Amy. There are no other reasons, plus, don't worry about her. You know that I have no feelings for her. I know you don't really have feelings for Mason either. We can't blame each other for that. We are both in the same boat. I also don't know why we got separated from each other. I tried to get back with you, but you were just too busy hanging out with Mason and studying. I don't want to see you hanging out with someone else and not me. I hate seeing you flirt over some assholes. I couldn't, even though I was doing the same thing. I guess it's fair enough but I just avoided you because I didn't want to ruin your happiness," He replied after a long time of us not knowing what to say. "You should have told me about this earlier. All those days, I thought about you and was stressed because we were having some problems in between our bonds. If you'd just told me that earlier, I wouldn't date Mason and everything. Stop the fucking car now! I am so over with you. You could have said a word, and I'd come running from you!" I shouted in anger as tears started to stream down my face. "A-alice. I thought you really weren't into me." He panicked. "Fuck you! After all these days. I am. Felix, I am! But we both never really noticed or cared about that. It was my fault for starting to fall for you, you asshole. It was just the thing I wanted to hide forever in my life. Maybe it was the reason I fucking avoided you. You dumbass. Every time you looked at me, my mind went blank. I always had mixed feelings about you. But boy, the moment you started avoiding me, You got on my nerves. When you started hanging out with Amy, I wanted to kill you two so much that I couldn't even stand to look at you two having fun. Then, there was Mason. Who could make me happy when you weren't there. It was all your fault, man. If only you looked back at me, I wouldn't be there hanging out with other boys. I would just look at you and only you. Do you know how many times I've cried because of you? All those times I cried and all those times I thought about you, you weren't there. You were just in your own little world, dating Amy. And guess what? Now all you have to do is act like you cared the whole time. Well, silly me, thinking you cared. Now, stop the fucking car!" I shouted and let all my feelings out. The way he never looked back at me whenever I needed him. The way he just walks away, pretending I am nothing to him all those years, he didn't know how hard it was for me to just not look at him. To just not think about him. To pretend like I did not care about him. To pretend that I was fine with not being friends with him after all. "I didn't know about that. I thought you were not interested in me anymore. I thought we were not going well. I thought you didn't really care about me. That's why I backed off." He said as he stopped the car. I got out of the car as fast as I could and slammed the door. "Go! Just go!" I said as I saw a truck coming straight to his car with full speed. "Felix!"